}

Stupid Terrorists

Oh no! Save Brüno!

Come and get me Mr. Terrorist! I dare you! Rowwrrr!

Come and get me Mr. Terrorist! I dare you! Rowwrrr!

The Fatah aligned Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades has threatened Sacha Baron Cohen’s life as a result of its inclusion in Sacha Baron Cohen’s new comedy, “BrünoHaaretz reports:

According to World Net Daily, the controversy erupted after Ayman Abu Aita said he was falsely portrayed in the film as a member of the al-Aqsa-Martyrs’ Brigades during an interview in the film by Cohen’s homosexual alter-ego who posed as a journalist…. Separately, the group denounced Cohen’s “dirty use” of Aita, claiming that he was misled as to the “real context of the film.” … Bruno is seen remarking to Aita: “I want to be famous. I want the best guys in the business to kidnap me. Al-Qaida is so 2001.”

Aita’s lawyer says his client plans to sue. Having nothing better to do with his time now that the terrorism business is on the wane, an Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade spokesperson stated “We reserve the right to respond in the way we find suitable against this man … The movie was part of a conspiracy against the Al-Aqsa Martyrs’ Brigades.” Right. Because a movie that has so far grossed $117,752,033 at the box office is really a clever front aimed discrediting an otherwise honorable and beloved organization dedicated to the defense of freedom and uh… peace and love and women’s rights and little children everywhere.

Of course, Fatah affiliated douchebags do not have a monopoly on stupid! Last week Ynet reported that Hamas claimed that Israeli intelligence operatives, seeking to destroy the fabric of Palestinian scoiety, have provided Gaza-based drug dealers with a sort of horny gum that makes chewers crave sex. Drug delaers are even encouraged to give the gum away for free. Of course this is ridiculous. If such a gum existed they’d be selling it out of convenience stores here. Also, if Israel was intent on genocide wouldn’t they distribute gum laced with saltpeter or the essence of Roseanne Barr or something that would make you the polar opposite of horny and thus less likely to procreate and have babies??

Whatever. I’ve given up on logic. Everyone should just play the Brüno Dildo Defender game.

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Publisher at Jewlicious
Founder of Jewlicious? Publisher? Man I hate titles. I coined the name Jewlicious and I slave over the site. I live in Jerusalem and I need to get some breakfast.
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6 Comments

  1. AlexK

    7/31/2009 at 11:03 am

    Is anyone here planning on writing about the disgusting and shameless stunt Heeb Magazine and Rosanne Barr just pulled off or do I have to count on Omri Ceren and MereRhetoric.com to provide a daily insight into the bizarre and warped minds of some of our American Liberal Jewish brothers and sisters?

    • froylein

      7/31/2009 at 12:43 pm

      I wasn’t planning on it. but I was planning on commenting on that “German” cake, which is an offence to German pastry arts and palates.

  2. Ephraim

    7/31/2009 at 4:13 pm

    Yeah, if I were a macho Pseudostinian terrorist, I too would feel emasculated if I had been made to look like a horse’s ass by a Jew posing as an Austrian faygeleh.

    They’re right, though: makes ’em look totally gay. And we can’t have that, right? If people think they’re gay, they might get themselves “honor killed”.

    Which would be totally awesome.

    Omri Ceren and Mere Rhetoric rule. Absolutely the best pro-Israel blog out there, bar none.

    And Rosanne Barf should just FOAD. Fucking Nazi bitch.

  3. josh

    8/1/2009 at 5:07 pm

    Why would Israel, who would like to see the Arab demographics worsen, want to give them spanish fly that would increase their numbers?

    Or is Hamas really trying to deflect a major teen sex problem in Aza?

  4. Mike Darnell

    8/2/2009 at 12:41 pm

    Can we trade Roseanne for Gilad?
    I mean she’s going there anyway…

  5. Modern Girl

    8/5/2009 at 8:30 am

    That gum story is crazy! It would make more sense if they gave them something that dropped the sperm count instead.

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