Oh no! Save BrÃ¼no!
The Fatah aligned Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades has threatened Sacha Baron Cohen’s life as a result of its inclusion in Sacha Baron Cohen’s new comedy, “BrÃ¼noHaaretz reports:
According to World Net Daily, the controversy erupted after Ayman Abu Aita said he was falsely portrayed in the film as a member of the al-Aqsa-Martyrs’ Brigades during an interview in the film by Cohen’s homosexual alter-ego who posed as a journalist…. Separately, the group denounced Cohen’s “dirty use” of Aita, claiming that he was misled as to the “real context of the film.” … Bruno is seen remarking to Aita: “I want to be famous. I want the best guys in the business to kidnap me. Al-Qaida is so 2001.”
Aita’s lawyer says his client plans to sue. Having nothing better to do with his time now that the terrorism business is on the wane, an Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade spokesperson stated “We reserve the right to respond in the way we find suitable against this man … The movie was part of a conspiracy against the Al-Aqsa Martyrs’ Brigades.” Right. Because a movie that has so far grossed $117,752,033 at the box office is really a clever front aimed discrediting an otherwise honorable and beloved organization dedicated to the defense of freedom and uh… peace and love and women’s rights and little children everywhere.
Of course, Fatah affiliated douchebags do not have a monopoly on stupid! Last week Ynet reported that Hamas claimed that Israeli intelligence operatives, seeking to destroy the fabric of Palestinian scoiety, have provided Gaza-based drug dealers with a sort of horny gum that makes chewers crave sex. Drug delaers are even encouraged to give the gum away for free. Of course this is ridiculous. If such a gum existed they’d be selling it out of convenience stores here. Also, if Israel was intent on genocide wouldn’t they distribute gum laced with saltpeter or the essence of Roseanne Barr or something that would make you the polar opposite of horny and thus less likely to procreate and have babies??
Whatever. I’ve given up on logic. Everyone should just play the BrÃ¼no Dildo Defender game.