Enough already Gilad.
Yeah, yeah. Happy Birthday Gilad. I signed up for this thing on twitter called #Tweet4Shalit and I’ll be honest? I was hoping NOT to have to tweet for his release. It’s like I’d rather do ANYTHING than sit all day in front of my computer and compose plaintive messages in 140 fucking characters or less talking about how unjust it is that he’s been held in captivity for three years – boo hoo hoo – and the Hamas fuckers haven’t let anyone see him – waah waah waah – and he can’t contact anyone, and his captivity is incredibly cruel and a war crime and oh so terrible, waah fucking waah. I don’t want to “tweet 4 shalit.” Gilad Shalit is just a regular guy. He ought not merit all this attention. Shalit should be eating watermelon in Eilat. He should be coming back from his trip to India or Thailand or South America boring the shit out of everyone about the spiritual epiphanies he experienced at Machu Piccu or Ko Pi Pi or in some ashram somewhere. He should be butting in line at the bus station. He should be getting ready to begin his academic career in the pursuit of whatever Lil’ Bo Peep “toar rishon” diploma he’d be pursuing. He should be hanging out with his friends grilling way too much meat and camping out by the Kinneret and being way to fucking loud. If he was here I’d tell him to shut the fuck up and pour him another Arak limonada. But noooo. Instead I have to tweet about how tragic it is that he is spending yet another birthday in Hamas captivity.
Seriously. I’m sick of this. I don’t want to do this anymore. Bring Gilad home so I can give him a whack upside the head. It might also help if you tweet and use the #GiladShalit and #Tweet4Gilad hash tags so we can make sure it trends. If you don’t know what that means, well… I don’t know what to tell you. Do something else for Gilad today. Write a blog post, leave a comment, email your friends or find him, give him a whack upside the head from me and then bring him home to his Mom.