}

I am Annoyed by Gilad Shalit

Enough already Gilad.

Enough already Gilad.

Yeah, yeah. Happy Birthday Gilad. I signed up for this thing on twitter called #Tweet4Shalit and I’ll be honest? I was hoping NOT to have to tweet for his release. It’s like I’d rather do ANYTHING than sit all day in front of my computer and compose plaintive messages in 140 fucking characters or less talking about how unjust it is that he’s been held in captivity for three years – boo hoo hoo – and the Hamas fuckers haven’t let anyone see him – waah waah waah – and he can’t contact anyone, and his captivity is incredibly cruel and a war crime and oh so terrible, waah fucking waah. I don’t want to “tweet 4 shalit.” Gilad Shalit is just a regular guy. He ought not merit all this attention. Shalit should be eating watermelon in Eilat. He should be coming back from his trip to India or Thailand or South America boring the shit out of everyone about the spiritual epiphanies he experienced at Machu Piccu or Ko Pi Pi or in some ashram somewhere. He should be butting in line at the bus station. He should be getting ready to begin his academic career in the pursuit of whatever Lil’ Bo Peep “toar rishon” diploma he’d be pursuing. He should be hanging out with his friends grilling way too much meat and camping out by the Kinneret and being way to fucking loud. If he was here I’d tell him to shut the fuck up and pour him another Arak limonada. But noooo. Instead I have to tweet about how tragic it is that he is spending yet another birthday in Hamas captivity.

Seriously. I’m sick of this. I don’t want to do this anymore. Bring Gilad home so I can give him a whack upside the head. It might also help if you tweet and use the #GiladShalit and #Tweet4Gilad hash tags so we can make sure it trends. If you don’t know what that means, well… I don’t know what to tell you. Do something else for Gilad today. Write a blog post, leave a comment, email your friends or find him, give him a whack upside the head from me and then bring him home to his Mom.

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ck

Publisher at Jewlicious
Founder of Jewlicious? Publisher? Man I hate titles. I coined the name Jewlicious and I slave over the site. I live in Jerusalem and I need to get some breakfast.
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81 Comments

  1. A Jew

    8/26/2009 at 9:00 am

    It’s called Hilul Hashem, shlimazl!

    I c our main problems are not with our enemies but firstly among us.

  2. ambrosine shitrit

    8/26/2009 at 9:09 am

    Re Gilad Shalit comment

    I have always said that the Jewish destruction and the destruction of Israel will come from WITHIN our community and not from our surrounding enemies.

    Just one comment to ck — go in dred

    and in hebrew if you can read it (probably not)
    יהודי שוטה טיפש

    • ck

      8/26/2009 at 9:24 am

      Thanks Ambrosine and A Jew for your kind comments. I’ve been living in Israel now for 5 years and I’ll bet you a million dollars that if Gilad Shalit had his way, he’d want to be standing in front of me right now getting whacked upside the head and drinking Arack limonana. Really. I’ll bet you anything. Think about it and try not to be so literal in the future.

    • froylein

      8/26/2009 at 9:30 am

      Gei in dr erd fileicht?

    • ck

      8/26/2009 at 9:35 am

      OMG! Ambrosine! A Jew! Neither of you are native English speakers! I am so sorry. You in all likelihood missed the thrust of my post. I actually want Gilad Shalit to be released. OK? Got it? I even offered to take his place. I know English can be confusing sometimes. So just to be clear again, I want Gilad Shalit freed as soon as possible ok? I love Israel and muffletta and chamin and salade cuite and Kosher Bulgarian fruit preserves all that is good and wholesome in the world, ok? Merci Ambrosine!

  3. A Jew

    8/26/2009 at 9:54 am

    However we all are equal jews in front of God,

    native jewish.

    And we are not allowed to speak Lishon Hara even if it’s true what u say.

    I was so happy we joined together today,
    religious and secular, native english speakers and not.

    Don’t screw it up, ok.

    I understand u were one of them original anti main streamers, but CK u know, that such very original articles can turn against us by the non-jews. Already saw a happy RT of it.

    Be awarw of talking LISHON HARA any more !!!

    I know it’s hard! I also make the effort every day!

    • ck

      8/26/2009 at 10:48 am

      Thanks for the concern A Jew. The response to my post has thus far been overwhelmingly positive in the land of twitter. I’ve read the Chofets Chaim and I know what lashon harah is. Jewlicious was one of the first sites to sign on with JIDF to tweet today on behalf of Gilad. Everyone has done an excellent job and we trended #2 all day, behind only Ted Kennedy’s death. So yeah… thanks for your concern but I gotta be me. Sorry you fail to understand that.

  4. froylein

    8/26/2009 at 10:00 am

    Lashon hara means bringing formerly publicly not known negative information about a Jew to public attention or to tell untruths about a person and not aiming at improving some overall situation. That’s not what CK did. He satirised, which can easily be told by his unusual choice of very simple vocabulary and making use of exaggerations and structural irony.

  5. vicki

    8/26/2009 at 11:03 am

    I’m confused. Do you want Gilad to be released or not, you raging anti-Semite? Since I don’t really speak English well either, could you send me a version of your post with all the sarcasm removed so I can process it easier? Thanks!

  6. Tom Morrissey

    8/26/2009 at 11:40 am

    ck has promised to make the inclusion of written ‘irony alerts’ part of the site’s Terms of Use.

    • ck

      8/26/2009 at 11:48 am

      Aw man! That’s like, everything I say or write!!

  7. Tom Morrissey

    8/26/2009 at 11:53 am

    Exactly.

  8. Grand Muffti

    8/26/2009 at 12:00 pm

    Wait, Muffti is confused. Does the omni-irony apply to:

    Aw man! That’s like, everything I say or write!!

    Coz if so, we gots us a bit of a liar paradox…

    • ck

      8/26/2009 at 12:13 pm

      Muffti: My Mom says there’s a lot of liar paradox in your butt.

  9. Grand Muffti

    8/26/2009 at 12:37 pm

    at least muffti didn’t come out sideways.

  10. dahlia

    8/26/2009 at 12:53 pm

    Love the post ck. Unfortunately, I’m not so sure how twittering will cause Hamas to release a captive whom they seem to view as a potential golden goose. Yet, I hope it inspires individuals both in power internationally as well as in Hamas’ normative support base to put pressure on Hamas to let the poor kid come home.

  11. Laura

    8/26/2009 at 1:15 pm

    Ck – this made me tear up more than all the other stuff I have read today. If only he were able to live a normal life, and stumble along his path, and bump into Hashem the way every other struggling goofy teenager can…I hope you can ‘hit him up side the head’ soon, and that he will have the strength left to be able to laugh, giggle and be silly someday……….

  12. Israellover

    8/26/2009 at 1:17 pm

    Despite what you say that you want him free, your total hate towards your own people is quite apparent. Your annoyed with Galid? WTF he do to you?????? Sure you would take his place. Do us all a favour and go shoot yourself. It’s Jew’s like you that give the rest of us a bad name. J Street would love you!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. Tom Morrissey

    8/26/2009 at 1:23 pm

    ….Employment of irony being a hallmark of the self-hating Jew syndrome. Man, there’s a lot of that going around.

  14. rozi

    8/26/2009 at 1:50 pm

    err…some people are clearly missing the sarcasm. this was a lovely post, and i agree with your sentiments.

  15. Ephraim

    8/26/2009 at 2:07 pm

    Jesus H. Christ on a fucking sidecar. Some people need to go out and buy a fucking sensayumor already. I heard they sell them down at Walmart.

    The whole fucking point of ck’s post is that it’s really, really lame to have to “Twitter for Gilad” because he should be fucking home already if Hamas were not a bunch of fucking Nazis and the rest of the world were not such a bunch of fucking anti-Semitic douches, and that having to Tweet for his release, as if that would actually help, is fucking pathetic !!!!

    Of course, I know that becuz I am familiar with ck’s MO. I can see why somebody who doesn’t know his inimitable style might not get it, especially if they don’ta speeka de English too good.

    But, damn, the name of the site is “Jewlicious”. That might be just a bit of a clue that the most common place for people’s tongues around here is so deep within their cheeks that you need a crowbar to get them out.

    Especially ck’s.

  16. The Mad Jewess

    8/26/2009 at 5:22 pm

    Author is a J.A.P. who has a nice life..
    Shame this hag has no mercy.
    She ‘loves HaShem’ and talks like a truck driving white trash woman.
    Real nice…easy to see why the goyim hate our guts, when we don’t even care for our own..BRILLIANT, Jewlicious…

  17. themiddle

    8/26/2009 at 5:55 pm

    Actually, Mad Jewess, if the goyim hate our guts, it’s because we have some people with severe comprehension difficulties among us. You know what else Goyim hate? Being called Goyim.

    However, you did hit the nail on the head in describing ck as a truck driving white trash woman and I want to congratulate you on your outstanding, clever and sensitive instincts. In fact, I’m going to suggest that ck change the logo of this site from 100% Kosher to “100% truck driving white trash woman.”

    Thanks for helping out!

    • froylein

      8/27/2009 at 4:50 am

      Oh, BTW, please omit the definite article before any group of people such as “goyim” (in its actual use a derogatory term as opposed to “non-Jews”; not cool, not funny, not edgy, and most definitely not classy), “Jews” etc. unless you mean each and every member of that group if not defined by a genitive attribute.

      Can JAPs be white trash? So far I haven’t encountered any that, by European standards, didn’t show elements of “trash” in her behaviour.

  18. Ephraim

    8/26/2009 at 6:19 pm

    Well, actually, the goyim hate us because they think we care too much for our own, but whatev…..

    Can you be a JAP and white trash at the same time? Not sure how that works. I think that’s sort of like matter and anti-matter: mutually exclusive and unable to co-exist in the same space.

  19. The Mad Jewess

    8/26/2009 at 7:28 pm

    Goyim means NATIONS..(Gentile) Same/Same

    No, the Goyim do NOT like us, b/c they do NOT understand our humor, and the arrogance that we EXPECT them to-IS the issue. They watch you all very close, closer than you realize. And we are to be a light, and uphold G-dly principles, so that people will follow suit. Not talk like truck-drivers.

    The ‘GOYIM’ HATE liberal Jews, I hope that this author is not one. They are tired of the ‘TOLERENCE’ that we SHOVE down their throats, and rightly so. Gay being married…? And the major activist, SADLY ARE Jews.

    I know what I am talking about with this, I have people that ARE goyim on my blog, and proudly say so.

    The GOYIM HATE that their are EVIL JINOS in power that are Communist/Marxist Erav-Rav JINOs, that are screwing up their lives, (Shumer, Feingold, Boxer, Feinstein, CZARS) so this post they will not GET, at least here in USA.

    I deal with anti-semitism on a daily basis, and get called a k-ke, a Jew-whore, Dirty Jew etc- just b/c of the people in powerful places, who DO NOT represent me.

    I tend to tread a little more lightly in America where it is suppose to be a Christian nation.

    ‘Can you be a JAP and white trash at the same time?’

    So, just because one is a J.A.P., this one is exempt at running its mouth in a strange way?

    If this was a campaign FOR Galit, on this bog- I didn’t see it, Pardon me.

  20. Drama Queen

    8/26/2009 at 7:29 pm

    Hi there, I’m a JAP w/a really nice life. And I’d like to thank these ironically-challenged dumbasses for offering printable proof that as a people, we Jews are clearly incapable of running ZOG.

    Well, about half of us, anyway.

  21. ck

    8/26/2009 at 7:46 pm

    I… I’m not sure what to say. Israellover says “Your (sic.) annoyed with Galid? WTF he do to you??????” and continues “It’s Jew’s (sic.) like you that give the rest of us a bad name. J Street would love you!!!!!!!!!!!!” Who is “Galid?” What’s the difference between plural and possessive? Then the “Mad Jewess” who states on his blog in a post titled “THIS is what AMERICA REALLY is & ANY REAL American knows this, even the DEMS” he looks back fondly at a time when “We didn’t have 148 different languages that people all over spoke, we had ENGLISH, and it was easier, because if you wanted to be an American, you learned English, and you pledged to be/become a good American.” Did you learn English reading comprehension too? Because anyone who thinks this very male resident of Israel is “a J.A.P. (wrong) who has a nice life (right).. Shame this hag (wrong) has no mercy (wrong). She (wrong) ‘loves HaShem’ (right) and talks like a truck driving white trash woman (huh?).” clearly has some serious issues with reading comprehension.

    Sigh. I despair for my people sometimes.

  22. ck

    8/26/2009 at 9:52 pm

    The Mad Jewess: We helped spearhead the campaign for Gilad. Intelligent supporters of Gilad tweeted and retweeted our tweets and posts all day long. We’ve written multiple blog posts including one where I asked Hamas to take me hostage in exchange for Shalit. But yeah, truck driving JAP. Yup.

  23. Noah David Simon

    8/26/2009 at 11:24 pm

    what I have heard from around the grapevine is you agreed to be involved and didn’t make a post till the last minute… and then (probably because you felt annoyed at being hounded into involvement), created a “SNARKY” post. it isn’t funny and to those of us who were behind the scenes it spoke loud and clear that your priorities were off. that said I sometimes enjoy your blog, but I think you owe a few people an apology. many of this took it very seriously for a reason. I understand there are things I believe in that I don’t like to be Hucked about. this post is misdirected. take a week to think about what you are doing wrong here. with the media so radically against Israel, is there any room for irony in saving this soldier’s life? I understand that social media can be annoying with all the little causes, but you really put a lot of energy here doing a disservice to one that is very close to a lot of our hearts. this doesn’t mean I don’t have a sense of humor about even the most dark of issues. I was on JIDF’s radio show today cracking jokes about Gilad’s picture myself… but I meant it out of love and empathy that the poor kid is a hostage and his mother sent the dorkiest pictures to the media. it’s as if there is no dignity for this kid. yes there is room to laugh, but I am laughing with Gilad and I’m not projecting my frustration at zealous Jews who believe in the cause like you are here. we were all waiting for a post from you, and instead you just farted on those that were anticipating support. it was hostility and it would be better for you to admit it.

    • froylein

      8/27/2009 at 4:45 am

      Maybe it would be better for the organisers to admit that, all good intentions acknowledged, real changes and progress in this unfortunate situation is not brought about by 140-characters-maximum text message that Hamas couldn’t care less about.

    • ck

      8/27/2009 at 6:53 am

      What?? Uhm. I’ve had a bit of experience with twitter things and our audience. A post a week before the “event” would have been wasted. The best time to post is when immediate and effective action can be taken. I don’t need to be hounded to be involved in anything Gilad Shalit related. I sat out at the tent a few times in front of the Prime Minister’s residence and we’ve posted about Shalit’s plight many times. My priorities were to do whatever I could to get people to tweet, to get them to think about Gilad Shalit and in that respect I succeeded. All literate people who commented on the post found it moving and positive – you being the notable exception, which is fine, you are entitled to your opinion. The other offended commenters were either non-native English speakers, functionally illiterate or both. There is nothing remotely anti-Israel in this post and whatever sarcasm wasn’t motivated by annoyance (!!) – your grapevine is sorely misinformed btw – it was motivated by the desire to show the innate desperation and patheticness of Gilad Shalit’s inhumane imprisonment. Like I said, if you called Gilad right now, he’d gladly take horseplay with me over what he’s currently dealing with. And that’s what he should be doing. He should be goofing off with his buddies, getting smacked upside the head and administering his own playful smacks, friggin doing ANYTHING but being under Hamas captivity. You and your other annoyed buddies do not have a monopoly on how you express your frustration and deep sadness. I should have let JIDF (you) know my plans vis-a-vis the timing of an effective post and your characterization of this post and the many, many tweets and retweets it generated and inspired as a “fart” flies in the face of reality. Read the comments. Count the tweets. This isn’t about some ego driven event and ownership thereof. It’s about a guy who has been in captivity and isolation for three years from the age of 19, separated from his family, his friends and the International community. Your request for an apology is grossly out of line. You might want to mull that over for a week. It’s really unfortunate that you had to mar an otherwise wildly successful campaign with this sort of pettiness.

  24. David Ben Moshe-JTF.ORG

    8/27/2009 at 6:58 am

    My fiance’ AsheDina. She didn’t look behind the F-bomb. (The Mad Jewess)
    She is devastated for this young man. I talked to her about this post. Please accept my apologies, I will certainly deal with her, gently, I won’t chop her head off.
    Shalom Aleichem

    • ck

      8/27/2009 at 7:02 am

      Thank you. Do let her know that the f-bomb was merely a manifestation of my sadness and frustration at Gilad’s continuing captivity and the world’s impotence at dealing with it.

  25. David Ben Moshe-JTF.ORG

    8/27/2009 at 7:00 am

    ‘Hi there, I’m a JAP w/a really nice life. And I’d like to thank these ironically-challenged dumbasses for offering printable proof that as a people, we Jews are clearly incapable of running ZOG.’

    Drama-Queen, aint dat da truth!

  26. lori

    8/27/2009 at 7:06 am

    Froylein,

    Lashon Hara is much more broad than how you define it. THe information need not be negative. You can be speaking about how you admire a your friend’s broad cheek bones, and it’s still lashon hara.

  27. lori

    8/27/2009 at 7:09 am

    Also-

    Lashon hara is specifically true gossip. Otherwise the sin is slander.

  28. froylein

    8/27/2009 at 7:18 am

    From what I’ve read, “gossip” is a pretty inaccurate description of what lashon hara covers and has been understood to cover. Just because it lately has been used in (lame) attempts to silence people one disagrees with does not mean that is the proper intention.

  29. David Ben Moshe-JTF.ORG

    8/27/2009 at 8:46 am

    ‘Thank you. Do let her know that the f-bomb was merely a manifestation of my sadness and frustration at Gilad’s continuing captivity and the world’s impotence at dealing with it.’
    —–

    CK, I certainly will.

    She is sad over this as well, its all too much to bear watching one of our young brothers go through hell.

    With the idiots with their crap about the “ZOG” and neo-Nazis all over our blog, I think sometimes it’s a lot for a woman to bear, I don’t mean disrespect to women, I have begged her countless times to please stop blogging, because she gets very emotional.

    Don’t take it wrong, she is a protector, sometimes too much. She is too embarassed to come back, so my point is well taken. As was yours.

    Shalom Bro.
    David Ben Moshe of the JTF.ORG..you know, the ones that are the ‘haters’- and in spite of the label, we are the largest movement of the youth in Israel now.

    Watch some of our videos (if) you get a chance, I am on the left.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GMGGmMGBw8

  30. Mike Darnell

    8/27/2009 at 9:01 am

    great post.
    sad,
    but great…

    a few more years of Araq Limonada (the pink kind) in the shuk & you’ll be just as much of a cynical bastard as I am : )

  31. Mike Darnell

    8/27/2009 at 9:12 am

    …PS seems like you really got the crazies all worked up with this one.

    • froylein

      8/27/2009 at 9:25 am

      Mike, it gets really crazy when you check who/what’s behind the IPs…

  32. Mike Darnell

    8/27/2009 at 9:34 am

    A bunch of anglo/religious bums who like talking about Israel but living in it less.

    They blog fanatically about Zionism but practice it less.

    They support the IDF but believe they’re serving the national interest better by learning Torah.

    They did Birthright(cause its free).

    Am I close?

    • froylein

      8/27/2009 at 12:33 pm

      Mike, close enough as in that not all self-professed Israelis / Israeli residents seem to be actually in Israel but far away at what appears to be permanent rather than regular.

  33. Noah David Simon

    8/27/2009 at 11:28 am

    you do realize that Noah David Simon is not David Appletree? I’m a supporter of the JIDF. that doesn’t mean I run it. you might notice that David Appletree has his own videos and his voice sounds nothing like mine on Seesmic (which by the way your Seesmic comments don’t work these days)

    now that apology I’m here for. I’m waiting.

    • ck

      8/27/2009 at 1:35 pm

      You’ll be waiting a long time my friend. A looooong time. It’s note worthy that David Appletree hasn’t expressed any of the sentiment you have. All I got from him was a thank you. So yeah, to reiterate. No apology except to say that I’m sorry you’re incapable of “getting it.” I notice also that you haven’t addressed any of my points.

  34. The Comic Torah

    8/27/2009 at 12:40 pm

    People should relax about Shalit. Moshiach will probably be here before i finish typing this post, and certainly before you finish reading it. Gilad and the rest of us will all be in Jerusalem in time for Shabbos!

  35. Noah David Simon

    8/27/2009 at 2:57 pm

    @ ck the apology is not for me. it is for #GiladShalit
    …and I’m sure Gilad knows he is being hostage because he stood for our ability to be SNARKY at his expense. if anything you should be honored that people on twitter waited and were wondering where your post for the event was… and when it finally came it was served with saliva in an Ice Cream Sunday. I’m not sure human saliva is kosher. When Hilary refused to protest against President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad because Sarah Palin was going to be at the event… I was just as annoyed. you didn’t do the same thing, but you showed up and served a bitter saliva ridden dish. Your blog is one of my favorites to read. it is one of the reasons I am taken aback by the tacky behavior.

    • froylein

      8/27/2009 at 3:28 pm

      Oddly enough, the tone of this post could be called a trademark of CK’s even in addressing serious topics. So dismay seems a tad out-of-place.

  36. Drama Queen

    8/27/2009 at 3:37 pm

    Just a clarification for the–once again–irony-challenged: I’m no more pro-ZOG than our author is actually annoyed by Shalit. Why is this post even an issue? Kudos for trying out a novel approach to raising awareness. Let everyone else vent their splens with earnestness and fury. There’s more than one way to skin a cat, and certainly more than one way to get under tougher, irony-hardened skins.

  37. Ephraim

    8/27/2009 at 5:12 pm

    froylein, since you are not an American, it is not surprising that you don’t know what “white trash” means. It has a very specific meaning that is a function of very specific American cultural conditions. According to the “White Trash” website:

    White trash (extended: poor white trash; acronym: “WT”) is a racial epithet usually used to describe certain low income persons of European descent, especially those perceived as having crude manners, abnormally low moral standards, and lack of education. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, “white trash” first came into common use in the 1830s as an American pejorative used by the slaves of “gentlemen” (rich white Southerners, often plantation aristocrats) against poor whites who worked in the fields. The term involves both behavioral characteristics (such as mannerisms, lifestyle) and overt racial characteristics (whiteness). The term is widely used across America, especially in the South, Midwest, and Appalachia.

    The term “trailer trash” means just about the same thing, since “white trash” people often live in trailer parks or are assumed to do so.

    I am quite sure that JAPs can, and often do, exhibit certain kinds of “trashy” behavior. Anyone can. But “white trash” means something very specific in the lexicon of American insults, and it is impossible for a Jew to be “white trash” regardless of the lowness of his/her behavior. Trash, maybe. White trash, no.

  38. NB

    8/27/2009 at 5:22 pm

    I am not a native English speaker but I had no problem with seeing the point of your post. I am surprised by the comments. We are generally held to be smart people, aren’t we?

  39. froylein

    8/27/2009 at 5:31 pm

    I know what “white trash” means, just as much as I know that about twelve years ago, when I first encountered the acronym “JAP”, all my friends over there agreed that it was decidedly not a compliment or flattering to be labelled such (traits were listed as arrogant, obnoxious, self-centred, petty, shallow, opportunistic and equipped with the best degree daddy’s money could possibly buy). Does a stereotypical JAP consider herself white? I’d say she does (if she doesn’t, she’s usually not really part of the “clique” as I’ve seen; the Sephardi or black Jewesses never really get fully accepted into those ranks, and as far as I can tell, should be glad about it).

  40. Ephraim

    8/27/2009 at 5:45 pm

    It doesn’t matter whether a JAP considers herself white or not. The term “white trash” refers to a very specific kind of person belonging to a very specific cultural/racial/ethnic group, of which Jews are not members.

    Yes, JAPs are usually defined as being “arrogant, obnoxious, self-centered, petty, shallow, opportunistic and equipped with the best degree daddy’s money could possibly buy”.

    These are certainly disagreeable traits, but they are not white trash traits.

    • froylein

      8/27/2009 at 5:49 pm

      Those come in addition to white trash traits. 🙂

      I do find it odd, however, that women will boast about being JAP as if it were something to be proud of.

  41. Ephraim

    8/27/2009 at 5:58 pm

    No, not necessarily in addition. The defining “white trash” traits are usually considered to be:

    being poor
    being uneducated
    having low morals, sexual and otherwise
    having a taste for “low class” entertainments (NASCAR vs. the opera)
    being dirty
    living in substandard housing or in trailers

    While I cannot vouch for the sexual morality of the “typical JAP”, one of the defining characteristics of being a JAP is having money, and lots of it, and the material lifestyle that goes along with that (“the best dgreee daddy’s money can buy”). So clearly, regardless of what one might think of JAPS, their supposed trashiness is of a different kind that that displayed by white trash.

    Yes, I am also mystified by Jewish women who seem to take pride in being JAPs. In my experience, this attitude is usually displayed by Jewish women who are very ignorant of what being Jewish really means (or should mean) and who are ambivalent about being Jewish in the first place. So being a JAP is the only “Jewish” thing they know.

    • froylein

      8/27/2009 at 6:13 pm

      If daddies buy their degrees, there isn’t much of a scholarly education to show off with either. 😉 I know several that were either left to raise themselves, raised by a nanny, or their cleaning lady, so parental education is lacking, too (which I’ve seen to show in poor manners).

      Maybe some women feel that calling themselves a “princess” will add a touch of nobility, but if you look at actual nobles, I think you’d rather skip. 😉 (Though there were two real Hohenzollern princesses at my school, and I occasionally spoke to their mother at events at their castle, and they were pretty down-to-earth.) I think it compares to women in their thirties starting to refer themselves as “girls” again to reliven a youth that has long gone… 🙂

  42. Drama Queen

    8/27/2009 at 6:18 pm

    Really? That’s what calling oneself a JAP means? And all along I thought it was a way of reclaiming an ethnic stereotype and refashioning it into the kind of wry badge of courage that’s been a hallmark of Jewish comedy from vaudeville on down to Woody Allen and Sarah Silverman. Calling daddy right now and asking him to return my Brandeis B.A. ASAP!

    • froylein

      8/28/2009 at 1:52 am

      Qualities associated with JAPs do not exactly make for fertile ground to plant typically Jewish humour on; the label appears to connote a loss of culture, not its preservation. Jewish humour has been marked by self-deprecation and self-consciousness verging on neurosis; this doesn’t go well with qualities such as arrogance, self-centredness and inflated egos. If a comedienne labels herself a JAP, she’s playing with those stereotypes to create laughs – not admiration.

      Deborah, thanks for your point-of-view. It adds some much-needed perspective.

      David, nice thought. Alas, if you look into the history of nobility, you’ll see that princes and princesses often enough put themselves above any law. One could say it was a strength of Judaism, particularly since the beginning of the diaspora, that it had no such “nobility” among its ranks.

      Tom, you’re welcome to copy the behaviour of anybody on here as long as you don’t start referring to yourself in the third person singular.

  43. Deborah

    8/27/2009 at 6:35 pm

    Sad. I’ve never heard one Jew call another a JAP. Although there were plenty of anti-semites I’ve encountered through the years who hurled that one at me with fair regularity and plenty of malice. It’s a terribly malicious term, and horrifying enough to hear from non-Jews, but all the worse that we would vilify one another for…what, exactly? Prosperity? Appearing too bourgeois? I bristle every time I hear it, and I’m sad to see one Jew use it to disparage another. That broke my heart. Shame on YOU “Mad Jewess”. We get enough of that kind of language from haters. But escalating the slurs among our own people? Shame on you.

    As for the original post, I should think its intent is fully clear – the author wishes Gilad Shalit had the freedom to grow and be a human with all the attendant flaws and learning experiences that accompany that experience. That Shalit should have the opportunity to be among his people, aggravating them with the folly of youth we all take for granted. His imprisonment robs him of his anonymity, and this window of his life to be a carefree and silly adolescent…and that is why he should be released. Not because he is something more than the rest of us, but, specifically, because he is not. He is just like us, and deserves that basic human experience of growing up in a normal way.

  44. David Ben Moshe-JTF.ORG

    8/27/2009 at 6:47 pm

    People, let us be what we are. Princes and Princesses. G-d chose us to represent the highest form of Law, does not mean G-d does not love the Gentiles, it just means we are to be an example, so they will have law, and they too, can see that our G-d is wonderful.
    G-d says that we are a Royal Preisthood, and Holy nation, right? He made it this way. In that, The Mad Jewess- AsheDina, my fiance’ is right.
    I’m proud to be a Prince of the Mighty one of Israel.
    Shalom.

  45. lori

    8/27/2009 at 7:16 pm

    Froylein,

    There’s another word in Hebrew, “rechilot” that translates closer to the English definition of “gossip”. But as I’m sure you know, things don’t translate directly from language to language. The chofetz chiam’s definition of gossip is so extensive and nuanced, that one English word can’t be expected to carry all of it’s meaning — you’re correct in that.

  46. Tom Morrissey

    8/27/2009 at 8:43 pm

    Yep, I sure got me some role models here.

  47. Tom Morrissey

    8/27/2009 at 8:46 pm

    …oh, and Drama Queen– return that Brandeis B.A., but on account of what they did to the Rose.

  48. Drama Queen

    8/28/2009 at 4:09 am

    Hey Froylein, you know what’s truly comic? This was a post about Gilad Shalit and somehow you’ve turned it into a platform wherein you tell other Jews how they may or may not behave and self-identify. I’m a mere princess; you are clearly the self-appointed queen of this domain.

    I doubt tweeting for Shalit did much good, but I, for one, appreciated CK’s attempt to portray him as the carefree young man he might have been instead of the weighty global icon he’s become.

    • froylein

      8/28/2009 at 9:29 am

      It’s called associative thinking. Self- and external perception as well as the power / limitations of social media matter greatly to the topic of this post.

      I’m not a self-appointed anything, and I wasn’t telling anybody how they should feel but how certain stereotypes are pretty obviously perceived in different ways; I wondered why anybody would categorise themselves in a way that evokes negative associations. Now I know why.

  49. The Mad Jewess

    8/28/2009 at 6:23 am

    I am terribly sorry, Jewlicious, CK. I am sorry to all of you.
    I didn’t GET what your post said, I do now, and I am so awfully sorry, and repent to have brought more pain on our people.
    I couldn’t come back feeling so embarassed.

    I do agree with David Ben Moshe, we ARE princes and princesses, and there is a place for us outside of the murdering crime talkers we ALL face on a daily basis, I am so sorry.
    PLEASE accept my apologies.
    🙁

  50. Noah David Simon

    8/29/2009 at 10:49 am

    bitch slapping is for girls

  51. themiddle

    8/29/2009 at 12:04 pm

    Noah, let it go.

  52. Avi

    8/29/2009 at 2:06 pm

    I did not enjoy the article because I think sarcasm is a weak form of verbal expression, but I do also think the sarcasm was rather obvious. To clarify: CK is a Jew loving Jew and would love to see Gilad returned home. He would never hit Gilad.

    Non-Jewish nations will love us and hate us regardless of what we do. They hated us in Germany when we tried to assimilate and hide amongst them, they hate us in Israel when we show our Jewish pride. Articles like this one will not get Jews killed, Jews fighting Jews will. You can’t change the world, but you can change how you run your life and emotions.

  53. ck

    8/29/2009 at 8:08 pm

    Yeah seriously Noah. Let it go. Time to move on…

  54. Noah David Simon

    8/29/2009 at 11:04 pm

    ok then… you can bitch slap girls if you want to ck

    • froylein

      8/30/2009 at 2:41 am

      Or just slap the greatest bitch around here, and this time it’s not me. 🙂

  55. Tom Morrissey

    8/30/2009 at 4:15 am

    That leaves numerous candidates.

    • froylein

      8/30/2009 at 5:36 am

      Thanks, Watson. I think we may exempt you, Middle, Muffti, CK, and this time even Ephraim. 😀

  56. ronmossad

    9/4/2009 at 11:48 pm

    Report on the Tweet for Shalit campaign from a non-official participant:

    http://ronmossad.blogspot.com/2009/08/gilad-shalit-day.html

    Yes yes I know I’m posting this a week after-the-fact, but who cares…he’s still locked up right??

  57. Moishe

    7/3/2010 at 8:44 am

    Fuck Gilad Shalid this dirty son of a dirty bitch. Smash him and his fucking chevre!!!

  58. Moshe David

    8/5/2010 at 6:07 pm

    I see the problem now. The Israel you describe is not the Israel Gilad Shalit, Jonathan Pollard, the Satmarrers or anyone else who can see it wishes to come home to. it’s the holy land when we sanctify it. we’re the chosen people when we act chosen. it’s Yisrael when we are Yashar for El. as long as we’re arrogant, self-serving, gossipy snobs, they’re imprisoned. humble pie, anyone?

  59. Gilad Shalit's Ghost

    12/1/2010 at 10:24 pm

    Gilad Shalit is a zionist piece of trash solider, not a civilian. You play with fire, you get burned occasionally. Much better than the two CIVILIANS (Muammar brothers) that were kidnapped and whisked away to some secret prisons with no charges by the cowards in the IDF. Dig Gilad up and slap him in his rotten skull.

    • ck

      12/2/2010 at 11:38 pm

      Thanks for your feedback. I appreciate the fact that you feel comfortable enough here to be frank with us about your opinion, repulsive as it is. I love these hateful little comments. They remind me about what it is we’re fighting for. Please feel free to share some more.

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