}

Seriously, is there anything more frightening than a “Woman bites off man’s penis” story?

FearIn a ridiculous bid to gain more readers, Tablet Magazine did just that.

If you read it, don’t be surprised if your penis leaves you and goes into hiding. As for female readers, DON’T GET ANY IDEAS! Then again, Tablet missed a terrific opportunity to make some bucks by selling high end Israeli sex toys.

14 Comments

  1. Avigdor

    11/23/2009 at 2:02 pm

    Once you start reading, you can’t stop.
    Whatever you do, DO NOT READ THIS!!!

    • ck

      11/23/2009 at 4:00 pm

      Oh come on Avigdor. And The Middle. The underlying story wasn’t so bad! I mean the man was kind of douchey. She didn’t bite it off, he would still be able to have children. I thought it was an insightful story, bringing to life the social stratification and living conditions of Jews in Warsaw in the late 20s. When we think of Jews in that period we do not think of snooty families, Jewish criminals, Jewish run brothels and all that stuff. This aint no Fiddler on the Roof but it was the way things were back then in a modern, cosmopolitan European city full of Jews. It kind of reads like a Nelson Algren novel – walk on the wild side indeed! I appreciated the vice and the grime and I will never be a douche to a woman and then let her teeth get anywhere near my private parts. Better yet, I’ll never be a douche to a woman period.

      • froylein

        11/23/2009 at 4:03 pm

        … or only go for women without teeth …

        They say you best learn how to ride on an old horse!

  2. froylein

    11/23/2009 at 2:03 pm

    May I share an anecdote?

  3. themiddle

    11/23/2009 at 2:25 pm

    Please do, Froylein.

    • froylein

      11/23/2009 at 2:37 pm

      Ok…

      One of my best friends from the US serves in the USAF. His unit did some practice in Oman a few years back.
      One night, he and his buddies were on patrol on base when they heard loud moans and obvious noises coming from a little shed on base. They decided to have a little fun and stormed the shed SWAT-style, guns at the ready. They heard a piercing cry and switched on the lights.
      Two dudes, civilian employees, were standing there, one bleeding from his lower half, the other with blood splattered all over his face. Apparently, one had given the other head, and when he heard the soldiers storming in, he was shocked and actually bit the other’s member off.

  4. josh

    11/23/2009 at 5:02 pm

    I think that this another reason that your site is pretty much banned on rimonet, maybe except for the lowest level of protection.

    • froylein

      11/23/2009 at 5:34 pm

      Hmmmm, are they worried we might bite off their shmeckls?

      We need not be worried; Jewlicious’ estimated worth is 140% that of rimonet’s.

    • themiddle

      11/23/2009 at 6:34 pm

      Are they banning Tablet Magazine too?

  5. Ben-David

    11/23/2009 at 7:53 pm

    and I thought eating tongue was gross…

  6. themiddle

    11/23/2009 at 10:59 pm

    Josh, take a look at the Jewlicious articles on our home page. I see a vibrant, interesting multitude of voices and topics. Some are serious, some very serious and some are silly. Some are political, musical, artistic, or even obituaries. We cover a broad range of topics. I don’t think we should be worried if Rimonet “bans” us. It’s their loss.

  7. J.Miller

    11/24/2009 at 5:49 pm

    Since no one has posted this yet.

  8. montana urban legend

    11/26/2009 at 3:33 pm

    Since Froylein doesn’t describe what happened to the “member” of the scared employee in question, it makes me wonder if her story of fellatio interrupto gives new meaning to the phrase “spit or swallow”.

    • froylein

      11/26/2009 at 3:45 pm

      MUL, at that point of my buddy telling me about his experience, I was laughing so hard that I didn’t inquire about the whereabouts of said member. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: