How am I dressed? Dial 1 - 800 None of Your Business! Image Source: Midnight East


The SlutWalk has hit Israel! Tel Aviv hosted one last Thursday as did Haifa on Friday. The SlutWalk, or Mitz’ad HaSharmutot as it is known here in Israel, first took place in Toronto on April 3, 2011, in response to a statement made by Constable Michael Sanguinetti, a Police officer, who suggested that to remain safe, “women should avoid dressing like sluts.” Since then, SlutWalks have taken place around the world, with the central message being that the way a woman dresses does not excuse or mitigate rape or sexual harassment of any kind. Some participants tend to dress provocatively, cheer, carry signs and engage in standard rally activities.

The Jerusalem SlutWalk is set to take place on April 27, 2012 and we here at Jewlicious have decided to put together a little guide to those women planning to participate. See, Jerusalem isn’t like Tel Aviv or Haifa and this guide addresses the special sensibilities of this holy city. So how does one dress like a slut in Jerusalem? Enjoy our pictorial guide (faces have been concealed for the sake of modesty):

1. If you are married, widowed or divorced, don’t cover your hair

The woman pictured above is a widow. Yet she provocatively insists on not covering her hair, as if she were a backup singer for Diana Ross and the Supremes. Her message to the world? “Come on baby, lets get it on!” Obviously.

2. Wear pants. Wear open toed shoes. Don’t wear socks or opaque stockings.

This saucy seductress is displaying not one, but three of the hallmarks of a common street hooker, namely pants, open-toed shoes and uncovered feet. Everyone knows that when they were walking through the Sinai desert, all the women of Israel, including Moses’ sister the Prophetess Miriam, were wearing sensible shoes and opaque stockings. And those pants? They don’t leave much to the imagination now do they…

3. Expose your elbows

Women who serve in the IDF in order to protect the country receive all kinds of training and instruction. Here we see female soldiers being taught how to operate an M-16 machine gun and how to dress like a whore. Exposed elbows inflame passions and do nothing to strike fear into the enemy.

4. Wear bright colors / patterns. Expose your collarbone. Expose your shoulders.

Whores use brightly colored clothing in order to attract the attention of potential Johns. What man looks at a collarbone and doesn’t think “Mmmm mmm. I’d like me some of that!” The women pictured above are enjoying the ancient Sephardic Henna ceremony, celebrating a couple’s engagement. But never mind that. It’s obvious that afterward, they will slip into the night and exchange sex for money.

5. Ride a bus and sit in front

This one’s kind of cool because in some circles, it doesn’t even matter what you wear. If you are female and ride in the front of a bus, you’re a slut!

6. Dress like an eight year old Beit Shemesh school girl

I’m sorry. Even I can’t write a description for this. Just go read about about it here if you don’t know what I’m talking about.

I hope that helps! Again, the Jerusalem SlutWalk is taking place on April 27, 2012. For more information, visit the facebook page.

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About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

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