Beijing Help Wanted: Looking for a Jew

Avid readers of Jewlicious already know about Chinese fascination with the Jews, centered mostly around notions of our legendary Jewish business acumen. The Chinese for Jews or Jewish people is 犹太人 (YO TAI REN) which means literally, “people of abundance.” All over China, folks are buying books authored by charlatans that offer to share our secret to amassing great wealth. Silly as this all sounds, we may very well be at the cusp of the next manifestation of this stupid trend.

See, the Chinese are already renting white guys – basically to sit at the front of the office or to be around during meetings and negotiations. Why? because it makes the company seem sophisticated. And what’s better than just a regular white guy? A blogger at Foreign Policy shares the following email he received from a contact in Beijing:

I hope all is going well with you. The reason I’m contacting you is because today I had a meeting with a contact of mine (deleted) who asked me for some assistance in finding people for some part-time work in Beijing. Essentially they are in the business of (deleted.) They are looking for some Americans to act as assistants in meetings with potential investors, and essentially act as the “white face” to give some more credibility to the project. He said it would need assistance for about 3-4 meetings per month, maybe more, maybe less – it all depends on how the business goes. Of course this will be a paid job, but I have not discussed any payment amount or payment terms so you would have to negotiate that yourself… The first requirement of the job is that you must be an advanced Mandarin Chinese speaker, since the meetings will all be with Chinese people. Also men only, no females. The other requirement is that you must have some sort of background that Chinese people typically value. My contact is (deleted) and is slightly obsessed with Jewish people and thinks they are the smartest, so he naturally prefers this person to be Jewish. If he can’t get someone Jewish, he would also like someone who went to a famous university — Harvard, Yale, etc. Besides those 2 qualifications, I’m sure he’d be happy with someone who has some sort of connection to someone famous or important, or maybe someone who is really tall and handsome. Basically any characteristic that Chinese people are impressed by – he is looking for in this person. Of course it wouldn’t hurt if this person was good-looking, well-dressed, etc. – I think you can get it. (deleted).

What do we learn from this? Well, it should be clear by now that soon we’ll all be working for the Chinese. Should you ever want to move to China to seek your fortune, make sure to add to your resumé the fact that you’re Jewish, because in China, being Jewish is the equivalent of a degree from Harvard or Yale. Or being handsome. Or having famous / influential friends. And of course, women need not apply. Sorry ladies.

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Founder of Jewlicious? Publisher? Man I hate titles. I coined the name Jewlicious and I slave over the site. I live in Jerusalem and I need to get some breakfast.
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  1. froylein

    5/28/2012 at 7:19 am

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