Traffic is lame…but there are ways to make it less frustrating. Here are a few of my favorites:
1. Sing loud to your favorite music. The louder you sing, the better you sound, right? It’s good for the soul. Especially if it’s Drizzy. Black and Jewish? Yes, please.
2. Listen to recordings of motivation speakers. Laugh at the crazy ones, mock the pretentious ones, but take something positive from all of them. We all need to be reminded of those statements from time to time.
3. Wave to people all around you. If you’re not in the car, but in a high-traffic area, just give FREE high-fives (but wash your hands really well at the end of the day).
4. Meow at people; the cool ones will meow back. Find the meow that’s best for you!
5. Compliment folks on their best physical attributes – chances are, they are having a rough day. Why not make it a little better? (“Nice tits” is not what I’m referring to, by the way).
6. Tell the person in the car next to you, “I like your shoes!” and watch as he or she looks down, confused. There’s simply no way you can see those Air Jordans! What the…oh well, whatever. Catch you later!
7. Let other cars in front of you (not all of them, but one here and another there). Everyone is always in a hurry – just chiiiiiilll. It is not the end of the world if you get home thirty seconds later.
8. Answer the phone when your mom calls. This is a good opportunity to let your Jewish mother tell you everything she’s worried about, and you finally have time to listen to every. single. word. Oy!
9. Paint your nails. Just kidding. DO NOT do this. You are a danger to humanity if you think this is okay, and you should move to another planet. Buh-bye.