You’ve always wondered, and now finally you can discover: has anyone in the history of the universe had the insane dating experiences you have had? The answer is yes.
You’re intelligent enough to know that your date shouldn’t talk about his dad’s gun collection (you #obvi read my blog entries). And of course you’ve heard that you shouldn’t talk about your ex. But what if you could discover that there are even worse dating behaviors?
As you absorb this information, little by little you begin to realize that we have all had ridiculously bad dates. Let’s get started. Ready?
1. Running Late.
He said he’s picking you up at 8 pm. It’s 8:15. You’re waiting, wondering why he hasn’t reached out. He finally lets you know he’s going to be late. His excuse?
“Sorry, I was hanging out with this girl and totally lost track of time”
Yes, it’s happened to me. Yes, the date ended faster than the speediest Bugatti Veyron.
2. I’m supposed to drive you home, too?
You’re having a nice enough time, until he says he has to cut the date short so he can get drunk with his boiz at Drai’s in Hollyweird…and he’s bummed about having to drive you home.
Yes, it’s a true story. Yes, I was a kind girl and found another ride home so not to disturb Mr. D-bag… Here’s the whip I got swooped up in 😉 #agirlcandream!
3. You’re Perfect!
No I’m not – nor do I wish to be told so after one date. People, take your time. Suddenly telling someone he or she is perfect only makes that person wonder about and question your honesty and genuineness.
4. I promise!
Imagine that….he promises you the moon and the stars! Smile, say thanks, and run the opposite direction like you’re running from freaking sharks with freaking laser beams on their freaking heads.
5. Have a nice life.
He checks in via text, Facebook, phone calls, email, Skype, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube; all within one hour…while you’re at a little thing called work. His last text reads “Have a nice life”.
You discover this red flag early on, so be grateful you are doneskies before Mr. Sensitive-as-a-flower gets any closer.
6. The push-pull
I need you! You’re needy! Whoa. Talk about projection. Any man or woman who doesn’t have the ability to know and love him or herself cannot possibly be a loving and giving partner.
No, I’m not suggesting you fall in love with yourself, like the rest of society… but first, let me take a #selfie.
7. I can’t.
…stay awake because I’m so bored. I. just. can’t. I understand people get nervous and awkward on first dates, but…I can’t deal. Try to have a little fun!
And when you see red flags in others, remember to be grateful for the people in your life who aren’t totes bananas. Never forget that it’s a privilege, not a right, to be in someone’s life. Treat it that way every day.