Dear Haaretz, Sen. Al Franken is NOT Gay


Not that there would be anything wrong with it if he was… but yeah, for the sake of accuracy, Senator Franken met his wife Franni Bryson during his Freshman year at Harvard. They’ve been married 37 years. Franken describes his wife as a lapsed Catholic. For her part, Bryson describes her husband as “extremely manly.” Franken made headlines in Haaretz because, despite being Jewish, he has endorsed President Obama’s Iran deal. The gay thing? That’s probably more a reflection of Franken’s Stuart Smiley gay character on Saturday Night Live and less to do with the perception that “the Iran deal is a faggoty capitulation to the Mullahs put together by a weak President desperate to add at least one foreign policy victory to his legacy even if it means endangering a loyal ally and threatening to plunge the entire region into instability at the hands of a despotic, theocratic regime hell bent on international hegemony.” Yup. Totally gay. Not necessarily my perception, just some sentiment I sensed on the Interwebs.

There has been no comment from Haaretz but the original tweet has been taken down and I assume there’s a social media consultant in Tel Aviv who is buying his/her latté this morning at discount coffee retailer Coffix (everything is 5 shekels!) instead of trendy and expensive Café Bialik. Because they’re fired. And possibly homophobic. And war mongering.

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