Military Court Convicts David Of Murder For Killing Disarmed, Wounded Goliath

Advocates for David called the move excessive, and criticized Israelite media for making the family of the slain Goliath into the victims of the incident.

Elah Valley, January 12 – A panel of military judges voted to convict Israelite military personality David, son of Jesse, on First-Degree Murder charges after the latter beheaded a Philistine fighter despite the Philistine lying helpless on the ground.

Justice Maya Heller read the verdict out this morning in proceedings that followed a fraught period among the Israelites, given the security situation and the widespread, grassroots opposition to prosecuting any Israelite soldier for taking measures to defend himself and his people, regardless of the prevailing Rules of Engagement.

David incapacitated the Philistine champion Goliath with a slingshot stone to the forehead, striking him from a distance and embedding the stone in Goliath’s skull. The Philistine in his heavy armor fell and no longer presented a threat to David or the rest of the Israelite military camp, but David nevertheless beheaded the incapacitated enemy warrior, in violation of the Rules of Engagement.

A grassroots movement sprang up that called for the charges to be dropped, and vociferous demonstrations took place at which populist rhetoric railed against the military and political leadership for sending a soldier into battle to defend the nation, then betraying him by putting him on trial for that defense.

At the reading of the verdict, Colonel Heller spent two hours reading aloud from a scroll and refuting, one by one, each of the arguments put forth by the defense during the trial. Advocates for David called the move excessive, and criticized Israelite media for making the family of the slain Goliath into the victims of the incident. “The man was  trying to kill us, and David saved us from him – now all of a sudden Goliath’s the victim?” challenged Azaria, an activist. “This is a travesty.”

The national leadership called on the people to respect the court’s decision, and denounced those who called the judges traitors or issued threats to harm them. “Due process of law is critical to maintaining a just society,” declared King Saul. “It may be hard to stomach the fact that a fighter of ours has been found guilty of a crime, but we can take pride in our legal system and our dedication to shining the light of the law on everything.” He then announced the assignment of bodyguards to Heller and the other judges as a precaution.

An aide to the king declined to comment on rumors that Saul was pleased at David’s conviction because he felt his hold on the throne threatened by the success of a charismatic, attractive rival.

 

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PreOccupied Territory

PreOccupied Territory writes the news a few days in advance, because nothing we can think of is too absurd to happen in the Middle East.
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7 Comments

  1. zionist forever

    1/22/2017 at 12:42 pm

    yeah dude you are so right, the palestinians are totally goliath and israel is david, why just look at how much money the palestinians receive from the US, not to mention loans and grants totaling hundreds of billions of dollars.

    also did you notice how strong the palestinian military is, why just look at all the best american weapons and merkava tanks the palestinians have

    what does israel have?…..only stupid homemade rockets that barely makes a dent in palestines military machine

    and did you know that the palestinians control the entry of food and essentials into tel aviv, one of israels biggest cities, they are literally starving poor israelis in tel aviv

    do you also know that all the major financial institutions and media companies are controlled by palestinians in america

    those poor poor weak israelis, they are truly the small and rightious david and the palestinians are the strong goliath

    g-d bless israel

    • PreOccupied Territory

      1/22/2017 at 1:09 pm

      Hey, you know you’re right! Israel should totally not respond when Palestinians attack, and should definitely sit quietly when territory they relinquished in hopes of peace is instead used to launch rockets and suicide bombers. Also, it’s totally cool to pretend that Israel’s only enemies are some ragtag militias with ‘crude, homemade’ rockets instead of precision munitions provided by Iran, which has repeatedly vowed to destroy the world’s only Jewish state.

      You’ve enlightened all of us to the fact that Israel’s population of perhaps 8 million is undoubtedly the Goliath to the Arab-Muslim world’s paltry 800 million souls who are fed a steady diet of genocidal hate. Well done. You’ve got us convinced.

      But what really opened our eyes was the revelation that the people of Gaza – who have done nothing more than elect as their leaders a terrorist organization committed to genocide of the Jews – are starving. The similarities to Auschwitz are uncanny: the luxury cars, the deluxe hotels, the sprawling shopping malls, among the lowest mortality rates in the Arab world – such horrors are true indicators that Gaza is the world’s largest open-air prison.

      Mission accomplished!

      • Zionist forever

        1/22/2017 at 1:27 pm

        sprawling shopping malls is an indicator people in gaza arent suffering?……….you mean when the IDF apologized to the media for using pictures of malaysian shopping malls to indicate gaza

        and a few smugglers in gaza are rich means everyone in gaza is rich?

        gaza is so rich that even netanyahu agreed that gazans are suffering due to restrictions

        as for lowest mortality its because of hard work of palestinian doctors and UN help, but it doesnt change the fact that israel controls the lives of all gazans, israel can kill people when ever it wants, israel can take land when ever it wants but the palestinians arent allowed to defend themselves

        jpost.com/Dipl...

        haaretz.com/is...

      • Zionist forever

        1/22/2017 at 1:33 pm

        as for palestines arab support, egypt is blowing up hamas tunnels, iraq and syria have their own problems, algeria and tunisia are too busy improving themselves, the oil rich gulf arabs care about money, do you see all the arab countries sending their armies to help palestine?

        no

        and there arent 800 million arabs, do th f-cking math

        israel treats palestine like a caged animal, and when palestine tries to bite back israel cries foul, running to big daddy america for more money and weapons

        israel is lucky that the arabs are such a stupid race of people

  2. zionist forever

    1/22/2017 at 12:46 pm

    that palestinian was really goliath, he had the full might of his military behind him, thank g-d the israeli soldier outnumbered by the palestinian soldiers with american made machine guns, f-16 fighter jets, merkava jets, killed the palestinian terrorist with a single sling shot

    this situation is 100% similar to the story of david and goliath

    its those nasty ugly arabs who distort the media

  3. Zionist forever

    1/22/2017 at 1:41 pm

    sprawling shopping malls is an indicator people in gaza arent suffering?……….you mean when the IDF apologized to the media for using pictures of malaysian shopping malls to indicate gaza
    and a few smugglers in gaza are rich means everyone in gaza is rich?
    gaza is so rich that even netanyahu agreed that gazans are suffering due to restrictions
    as for lowest mortality its because of hard work of palestinian doctors and UN help, but it doesnt change the fact that israel controls the lives of all gazans, israel can kill people when ever it wants, israel can take land when ever it wants but the palestinians arent allowed to defend themselves
    jpost.com/Dipl…
    haaretz.com/is…

  4. Zionist forever

    1/22/2017 at 1:45 pm

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