Signs that made retroactive sense included disruptions of traffic, which Pitsek said he had not noticed because Tel Aviv is already a traffic nightmare.

Tel Aviv, June 14 – A resident of Israel’s second-largest city admitted surprise today after being informed that the 2017 Pride Parade took place last Friday, as he had not noticed anything out of the ordinary for Tel Aviv to indicate something distinct was occurring there at the time.

Ofer Pitsek, 30, confessed his chagrin today upon discovering that the largest Pride Parade in the Middle East took place within several kilometers of his home and workplace, and he took no notice. The software engineer told reporters that while he definitely encountered signs of the parade taking place, only in retrospect did it become clear that those indications pointed to the Pride Parade taking place and not to Tel Aviv’s typical milieu.

“Yeah, I’m a little embarrassed – it’s sort of a big deal,” he allowed with a sheepish grin. “But it’s not as if there aren’t a billion rainbow flags, flamboyant characters, loud music, and millions of other parts of the Tel Aviv scene already present. How was I supposed to know?”

Pitsek confessed further embarrassment at the realization that he had missed signs of the Pride Parade two years in a row now. “The same thing happened last year – I kicked myself when I discovered that,” he continued. “That makes it three years since I knew there was a Pride parade going on in Tel Aviv in real time. And I consider myself an aware person.”

Other signs that made retroactive sense included disruptions of traffic, which Pitsek said he had not noticed because Tel Aviv is already a traffic nightmare. “You’ve got light rail construction going on for a gazillion years that already screws things up, plus weekend beach traffic – I’m supposed to tell the difference between that and hundreds of thousands of people descending on the city for Pride 2017? That’s not exactly fair. I mean, you have to be a little obtuse not to pick up on something this big, but really? It kind of blends in. No offense intended to the participants, of course, many of whom go out of their way to attract attention. I apologize for that.”

Pitsek resolved to show more social awareness next year. “I’m putting it into Google Calendar as soon as I can,” he promised. “I don’t know, you think the municipality can be more obvious about this event in the future? I mean, in ways that somebody who’s already accustomed to Tel Aviv would notice.”

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PreOccupied Territory

PreOccupied Territory writes the news a few days in advance, because nothing we can think of is too absurd to happen in the Middle East.