}

Jewlicious Founder Too Distracted By New Baby To Notice Article On His Site Mocking Him

The article author declined to speculate on how long it might take Abitbol to notice.

Jerusalem, July 5 – The man who established and runs the eclectic Jewish culture website Jewlicious became a father for the first time last week, and has been so preoccupied by the duties and joys of his newfound situation that he failed to notice an article on his site that pokes fun at him for that preoccupation, local sources are reporting.

David Abitbol and his wife became parents to a boy two weekends ago, and held the circumcision ceremony this past Sunday morning at a nearby synagogue. The preparations for, aftermath of, and arrangements surrounding the birth and its attendant events have taken up so much of Mr. Abitbol’s attention and time that it has barely registered that one of the people to whom he granted access to the administrative section of Jewlicious has exploited that privilege to post an article that uses the situation to mock him. Abitbol was of course unavailable for comment.

The site user, who has been contributing articles since last year, told reporters he could think of nothing else to write about. “The subject I’d chosen for the article was supposed to be religion, because of the rotation I have for my own site’s articles,” explained the jerk. “About once a week I post an article on Jewlicious, and then a few days later I put it up on my site. Of course this article, which is specifically about Jewlicious, won’t fit on my site, given its niche subject matter, but I’m going to post it on ck’s site anyway, because that’s the kind of guy I am.” He referred to Abitbol by the latter’s screen name.

The article author declined to speculate on how long it might take Abitbol to notice. “That’s not the point,” he insisted, with some irritation. “There’s actually a part of me that hopes it does totally unnoticed, and sinks into the archives as other posts slowly push it off the front page. I think that would be a more poetic, evocative expression of the article’s point than if he sees it.”

Other ideas for an article mocking Mr. Abitbol were rejected as too controversial. “I considered writing a piece about ck mutilating his son,” he added, referring to the circumcision. “Of course for my youngest son I did the deed myself, so that would be a rick bit of hypocrisy. But that would be lost on the readership. I could mock them for their ignorance, too, but one thing at a time.”

Enjoy more original content at PreOccupied Territory. On Facebook at End The PreOccupation and Twitter at @POTerritory. Also, please support our work through Patreon or face accusations that you suppress freedom of expression.

2 Comments

  1. ck

    7/6/2017 at 2:58 am

    I hate you so much right now…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *