NFL Offers Compromise, Lets Players Stand for American OR Israeli Anthem

Player representatives have yet to offer any official response to the move.

New York, May 24 – Executives and owners in the National Football League softened their stance today on player behavior during the traditional singing of the Star Spangled Banner before games, suggesting that if any player objects to remaining on his feet during the song, he may instead choose to stand for Hatikvah, the national anthem of of the State of Israel.

The league announced Wednesday that it would not tolerate players kneeling or otherwise not displaying the proper respect for the flag and country, but backtracked this morning in a statement that would permit the behavior on the condition that first, any such players stand at attention for the Israeli anthem. Player representatives have yet to offer any official response to the move.

“The National Football League is a corporation, not a government, and therefore not bound by the First Amendment’s free expression provisions,” explained NFL spokesman Rod Trollman. “We avoid injecting politics into sports, a phenomenon that our fans have shown they dislike. However, given the societal benefits of displaying social responsibility, the owners and league executives are willing to tolerate some expressions of perceived injustice. To that end, we are prepared to allow players to salute the Israeli flag and anthem instead.”

“The flag and anthem of Israel,” he continued, “represent a suitable alternative, in our assessment. Israel is one of America’s closest allies, a staunch outpost of democracy and freedom in region notorious for totalitarianism and repression. Its story is one of an indigenous people, long a persecuted minority, reasserting its sovereignty in its ancestral homeland despite seemingly insurmountable obstacles. NFL players who have overcome adversity to achieve their dreams of competing in the most elite football league in the world will surely be able to identify with Israel if acknowledging the American symbols poses too much of a challenge.”

Analysts foresee a cool reception for the offer among players. “It’s going to be confusing,” predicted commentator Red Herring. “I’m sure many will appreciate the Israeli anthem for its smaller vocal range that makes it easier to sing than The Star Spangled Banner, but there are other considerations. For example, someone will have to keep track of the individual players and whether they’ve already stood for the first anthem before they would be allowed not to stand for the second. We can’t assign that additional work to the on-field officials; it’s beneath their dignity. I see too much potential for mix-ups in this.”

“I would humbly suggest a variation that has an outside organization monitor compliance. I’m sure we can find people with time on their hands at Black Lives Matter, for example,” he added.

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PreOccupied Territory

PreOccupied Territory writes the news a few days in advance, because nothing we can think of is too absurd to happen in the Middle East.
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  1. A black guy

    5/25/2018 at 1:43 am

    Wow, just wow, way to go

    Now you are going after black lives matter, now i have seen it all

    It wasnt enough that you had to laugh at the suffering of palestinians, now you are laughing at black people fighting for their rights

    you jews are the most despicable and scummiest group of people in this earth

    people like you sicken me

    • Sophie Lawrence

      5/25/2018 at 10:16 am

      Did it occur to you that feeding trolls only makes them bigger?

    • talmud

      6/6/2018 at 10:33 am

      don’t blame them its only their nature to destroy everything that everyone else owns to fit their own sick zionist gains.

  2. Just a goy

    6/9/2018 at 11:48 am

    hey black guy, if you think this is bad, check this out,


    They shot a young palestinian medic and are now saying she wanted to be shot

    This is just tip of the iceberg, google Harvey Weinstein, the greatest mass rapist in hollywood history and how he hired IDF and Israel linked jewish mercenaries to protect him and go after his victims

    Also read up on Jewish Wall Street guy Bernard Madoff and how he caused the biggest financial scam in american history

    Also read up on welfare fraud by Haredi jews in new york

    Jews are truly the biggest scumbags in the world

    Chosen people my ass

  3. Just a Goy

    6/9/2018 at 11:50 am

    Oh also read up on jewish scumbag lawyer Aron Schlossberg, now this guys behaviour will really show how jews act when they have all the power

    They acted like this all the time in europe before ww2

  4. Just a GOY

    6/9/2018 at 11:54 am

    Also check this out

    Largest medicare fraud in american history by a jewish scumbag


    the guys name is Philip Esformes, can you guess which tribe he belongs too?

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