This is getting ridiculous already…
There’s a new energy drink in town and the Red Bull people are cowering in fear! Not only do they have to contend with celebrity endorsements by either Madonna or Ashton Kutcher but Kabbalah Energy Drink is made of real genuine Kabbalah Water for that extra divine boost of energy when you’re out at a rave and munching on tabs of E like they’re M&Ms or when you’re coming down from a 3 day coke binge and need a little pick me up at work so your boss won’t figure out why you keep running off to the can every 5 minutes and you seem to have a cold in the middle of the summer.
But I digress.
So yeah. Kabbalah Energy Drink. Bad idea. Surely this will invite divine intervention from one of the less merciful of G*d’s 12 divine attributes. Surely it will. Uh… please let it? Please?? I mean this crap is already available on eBay! Is nothing sacred?
Mind you, if they had some of that in kosher for Passover format, it might have helped keep some of us awake through the seder….
Thanks to Cordelia for the heads up, if not for the semi-righteous indignation.
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Not only is it ridiculous but it tastes horrible. I don’t know how anybody can drink this over some of the other energy drinks.
So how do you guys feel about hotdogs? I know i love them. Or Bologna? I love that too. What about chewing one a big piece of hog meat that you just captured from the wild? Yeah I love all those things…but you what what really gets my heart pumping-PROCESSED CHEESE!!
I do not know if this is a bad idea or not. It is a marketing
exercise. It would take some time to determine how
much of a sales volume they have. Personally, I am more of a Sweet Grapefruit man myself.
I know I was the one who told CK about this crap, but I have to say, this is jokes, man. JOKES.
Geez louise. And there I was with brilliant insights about shared musical tastes and relationships…
🙁
I feel for you Esther. ck doesn’t read my blog either. And with all of the talk he did about taking care of Rabbi Yonah’s kids, I bet he’s hearing his biological clock ticking too. No energy drink is going to quench that.
If it works, college students everywhere will start drinking it mixed with grain alcohol at frat parties: drink all you want, increased clarity for your exams in the AM.
What if it works? A soft drink that explains and illuminates, not just hydrates?
Great!! After a hard night of snorting, pill popping, and debauchary, the DiGiTaL can start the Redemption process while getting the energy for that extra hour of sinning!!!!
know what’s worse than selling kabbalah energy drink on ebay? selling britney spears’ pregnancy test on ebay! my statistics teacher told me about that one… pretty sick.
Sigh. For more proof that CK never really reads my blog, see here.
http://estherkustanowitz.typepad.com/myurbankvetch2005/2005/02/ashton_kutcher_.html
Is it kosher?
CK:
Of course nothing is sacred. Isn’t that pretty much the whole point of groups like the Kabbalah Center and other cults of any religion. “Nothing is sacred there for we can do what ever we want to make anything sacred.” (I think that is why so many cults seem to have bizarre sexual practices, okay not bizarre but, or forget it.)