Nice Jewish Girl (“34 and never been kissed”) has posted an update on her blog. She’s still single, and still struggling. One of the people who commented on her blog had tried to reassure her by saying “you’ll be engaged by Shavuos.” Clearly, she’s not. And that person, who I believe really meant to comfort her, has instead provided her with a catchphrase for her disappointment.

Plus, now she’s feeling a strong urge to have a baby. She writes:

I do not feel financially or emotionally able to raise a child by myself right now and also I do not intellectually feel comfortable with the idea of bringing a child into the world without a father, when there are so many babies available for adoption who have no parent at all. But it is interesting that the physical instinct to be a mother is so strong. And it is very hard to overcome one’s physical instincts. It seems that so much of my life is about that. Which leads me back to the question, by lifting myself above my physical instincts, am I being holy, or am I being stupid?

I’m still so saddened by her dilemma: a strong faith that necessitates her abstention from all physical contact with the opposite sex and puts great pressure on her to “find her bashert already,” combined with an intense yearning to find a partner to connect with emotionally and physically, and to begin to create a Jewish home with him.

Shomer negiah or not, Jewish singles in their thirties know how she feels.

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Esther Kustanowitz

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