Because I know you were all waiting to find out how Israel’s version of the Bachelor turned out, I present you with this article from the Jerusalem Post.

The article shares with us that 34-year-old Ari Goldman, a New Yorker who never had any intention of living in Israel long-term, selected 21-year-old Canadian (and Nicole Eggert lookalike) Marie Anbar, who had become known as the show’s “JAP.” Apparently, to those who watched the show, this was a great surprise because on-camera, Ari seemed to be connecting with another contestant far earthier.

In the end, Goldman disappointingly chose the princess. The ostensible reasoning being that geographical differences with Neta were too great to surmount; which begs the obvious question: Why bring an American guy over to Israel to date Israeli women if he has no intention of living here in the first place? What fantasy was this show attempting to portray? Is the idea that 18 Israeli women would naturally fight to win over a rich American and live the “good life” in New York?

The great fault of this show was not Goldman himself, but rather the HOT [cable tv network] producers who assumed the worst of Israeli women. Given Goldman’s logic, Marie wasn’t the natural choice; she was the only choice. It was only fitting that the most pathetic display of fake fireworks ever aired on television ended this ultimately illusory fairy tale.

So basically, JPost is upset because the reality show seemed fake. Silly Israel…when you’ve had as many reality shows on as America has, you’ll begin to understand. It’s Strawberry Fields: nothing is real.

Discussion on the previous Jewlicious post on this show alternately painted Goldman as a conniving opportunist and a great guy. One of my friends seems to be an old buddy of Goldman’s from camp, so he may actually be a legitimately great guy. But we’ll never know.

We know this much is true: reality television seduces subjects with promises of love, money and exposure, and audiences with the promise of emotional trainwrecks and displays of appallingly competitive behavior. One thing is certain: no one will ever emerge from the reality television experience unsullied.

So what have we learned, children? Don’t drink and register as contestants on reality shows. And stay in school. (Except Muffti, who has been in school long enough.)

Fight the real power! [Sinead O’Connor Esther takes out picture of Mark Burnett, creator of Survivor and the Apprentice, and the acknowledged godfather of reality television, and tears it down the middle.]

That said, I still believe a Real World: Jerusalem @ Beit Jewlicious would be an excellent idea. And with that, a nesiah tovah to CK, whose mission and instructions should be clear from this last paragraph.

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Esther Kustanowitz

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