Everybody knows the drill: Palestinian terrorists set up quick launch pads from which they shoot Qassem rockets toward Sderot, the nearest town to Gaza; Israeli forces retaliate by attacking Palestinian terrorists and doing overhead flights with sonic booms, sending in some artillery.
As I was sitting there tonight, reading a business magazine and sipping port, the ultimate solution came to me. Instead of wasting all of these resources on retaliation, why not change tactics? I recommend the following:
1. Evict Gaza settlers who could move out but prefer to remain in hotels. Send them on their way to live with Aunt Netta or someone else until their new homes are ready, or until they get off their complaining tucheses and find somewhere to live.
2. Temporarily move all Sderot residents to the vacated hotel room. Leave Sderot empty.
3. Move Yigal Amir into Sderot. Put some sort of electronic monitoring device on him. Leave unlimited food and drink. Invite his wife, Ms. Trimbobler to visit and stay with him.
4. Tell the Palestinians to bomb away.
5. If the inevitable takes too long, the Israelis could always ask the Americans to provide training and perhaps even sell more accurate rocket systems to the Palestinians.
Yes, yes, I know it’s a short term solution, but it’s the best I can do after the port.