Whereby I am now located in Jerusalem and seem to be posting more regularly to this blog than anyone else; and insofar that the rest of the Jewlicious-Jerusalem team (including a visiting Muffti and one Encino Yeled) have fled the country to parts both known and un-, and are incommunicado, and whereby I will be traveling to Tel Aviv to meet Jewlicious poster Alli, making me one of the only people to have met all of the Jewlicious posters (except Jimmy, whoever he is), I hereby proclaim myself (Interim) Queen of Jewlicious.

At my meeting with Alli, we expect to proclaim Jewlicious a banana republic and assume co-queenship. We will then travel to Independence Hall where we will read a short statement of intent and mission, followed by the singing of our national anthem: “Fight For Your Right to Party.”

Shortly thereafter, we will announce the expected tribute to be paid to us by denizens of the Jewlicious empire–such tribute should be paid forthwith to ensure many more meandering posts that can be debated endlessly and convolutedly in the comments section.

What happens when Momma and Poppa Jewlicious (and Uncles) come home from being wandering Jews? I guess we’ll just have to see…

About the author

Esther Kustanowitz

For more posts by Esther, see EstherK.com, MyUrbanKvetch.com and JDatersAnonymous.com.


  • I realize that since it’s a coup, there’s no election…but if there were, you would so *totally* have my vote for Queen. (Does this mean I have to curtsey next time I see you?)

  • To the good writers go all the spoils. It couldn’t happen to a nicer person – enjoy your reign.

    Could you ask that boy, ck, to figure out how I, TM, would be able to return to my old controls where I could actually put certain key words into the nuke section of the site? I think I’ve erased over 1000 spam posts in each of the past two days.

  • Oh, Purim Hero, you are so clever dahling!

    I just knew all this talk of queens was related to the Gay Pride march! And I think it’s so absolutely fabulous that Jewlicious has some queens on staff.

  • Always take the tribute in cash or coin. It works out better that way. Food will do in a pinch too. Cheers & Good Luck! ‘VJ’

  • This is very funny Esther, Jerusalem obviously agrees with you. Upload the national anthem, and you just might get an empire.

  • not to mention pinch in a pinch as in single malt, man is that smooth or what?

    Yes I also noticed Esther has lost that hardness that depressive whiny trait she had in NY.

    Here’s to a successful Aliyah, looks like she’s gonna make it now.

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