Thanks for nothing
Thanks Nasrallah! Thanks Hash smokers! Thanks for nothing…

Here in Israel, it seems like (almost) everyone’s getting behind the war effort. Everyone is trying to do whatever they can to help. Of course, those in the IDF and in the reserves are serving bravely, rushing off to join their mates when called, and others are even sacrificing their lives.

But you needn’t be a soldier or a generous person to help in the war effort. If you’re a pot head, you can help by uh… simply not smoking Hizballah Hash. See, it seems that the majority of the Hash in this country is produced by the Hizballah in south Lebanon. According to the Forward:

“A Persian-backed terrorist organization is the primary supplier of hashish to the Israeli market today,” activist and Jerusalem resident Dan Sieradski said on his blog, OrthodoxAnarchist.com. “And this is why, with a heavy heart, I am officially boycotting hashish, effective immediately.” According to an Israeli police report, Lebanon is the number-one source of hashish in the country. (Coming in at number two, Israeli backpackers returning from India.) Historically, Israeli Arabs, Bedouins and Druze nomads have been the middle men in Israel’s drug trade, smuggling hashish, cocaine and other drugs across the Israeli-Lebanese border. Since Israel’s withdrawal from Lebanon in 2000, however, Hezbollah has seized control of the smuggling operation, and the Islamic militant group continues to control the drug trade — and profit off all transactions made… “Hezbollah is directly overseeing the entire operation,” Police Captain Avi ElGrisi was quoted as saying in The Jerusalem Post. “They say where, when, and how much drugs are brought in.”

The reason for the boycott is obvious. Israel is at war with Hizballah and patriotic pot heads don’t want to provide economic support to the enemy. The article then continues:

Some boycotters argue that the only way to ultimately cripple Hezbollah’s role in the drug trade is not merely to shut down the terrorist group’s smuggling operation but also to decriminalize the drug itself. If hashish were made legal, they say, the demand for underground sources would vanish and Hezbollah’s monopoly would collapse… “You cannot stop people from smoking cannabis,” Sieradski said. “But you can have a profound impact on where they get it from.”

True. But see, here’s the thing. Smoking pot or Hash makes you addle minded. For instance, no one cited in the article seems to realize that for now at least, the supply of Hizballah Hash in Israel is down to nil. Drug smuggling across the south Lebanon/Israeli border is currently all but impossible because of the war that Israeli Hash smokers helped to finance.

Those rockets falling on us in Northern Israel? Those bunkers where all the terrorists are hiding? Those anti-tank missiles and bullets the Hizballah terrorists are firing at our soldiers? Those fancy shmancy yellow Hizballah flags that everyone waves around during anti-Israel demonstrations? All of those and more have been financed in part by Israeli Hash users.

Thanks a lot you fucking idiots. I applaud your efforts to help, but it’s a little late now, don’t you think? Yeah. I’m running to lobby the government right now to legalize pot. No really, right this minute! Here… have a doughnut.

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About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

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