The April 2007 issue of Gentleman’s Quarterly Magazine, commonly known as GQ, was billed as the “Love, Sex and Madness” issue. And why not? It’s spring time, it’s starting to get hot – love, sex and madness naturally follow. But what does this mean for the Jews?
Well, GQ managed to be both instructive and informative in this respect. Hidden between the well crafted verbiage and the glossy photos, one could find bold pronouncements about the state of uh… Jewish booty in the world. One could probably also read something in there about Jewish control of the media as well, but really, I’m so over that.
What the hell am I talking about? GQ presented a section called “Where to Find Her 2007” that was introduced as follows:
A whole world of smart, beautiful women are out there, from the beaches of Uruguay to the aisles of Whole Foods. We searched far and wide to discover the best spots on the planet to meet them.
Many of the obvious places were featured – Whole Foods in Chelsea, Paris, Kiev etc. but also cited were female IDF soldiers:
…the best place to meet women soldiers in Israel is at the Tel Aviv and Jerusalem central bus stations on Thursday evenings and Friday mornings as they return from basic training, dusty and exhausted. And if you get lucky, you can tell your friends that you spent an unforgettable night with someone who looked like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, felt like Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider, and smelled like Sylvester Stallone in Rambo III.
The last mini article focused on the Matzo Ball Party in Miami where the following took place with a hot number in a spaghetti-strapped tank:
We made out, she introduced me to her whole family (including Aunt Ruth), and then she went on about how much she loved to cook and how she’d prefer to have two kids, but three would be ok, too. “So can I see you tomorrow?” she asked? I stood for a moment, dazed, the rest of my life flashing before me: wedding, kids, brises, Bar Mitzvahs, golf, death. I guess I could have seen her, but for one Matzo Ball, at least, I figured the inevitable could wait.
Hmmm… so obviously too many Jews work for GQ. And clearly, some of them are assholes. But I gotta love that whole Jews are sexy thing, especially when the Israeli part of that equation comes off as just a teeny bit sexier.
OK. A whole lot sexier. Go ahead, keep your fleshpots Babylon. Is it any wonder I’m a Zionist?