Gaydamak visits Machaneh Yehuda
Russian born billionaire Philanthropist, Businessman, Sports Mogul, Champion of Sderot, Humanitarian, Diplomat, International Fugitive and Politician Arcadi Gaydamak visited Machaneh Yehuda (Central Market of Jerusalem) and had lunch at famed eatery, Rachmo. There he discussed his future political aspirations. Gaydamak has strong ties to Jerusalem – he is the sponsor of the Hapoel Jerusalem basketball team and the full owner of the Beitar Jerusalem Soccer team. Last February he started a political party to run in the Knesset called Social Justice which will run in alliance with Likud. Gaydamak has no plans to run for Knesset himself though – he currently has his sights set on the Jerusalem Mayor’s office – when I asked him about his chances of winning, he answered “I will be the next Mayor of Jerusalem.”
Judging by his reception at the shuk, one might understand his confidence. Usually grumpy people stopped him and wished him a chatimah tovah and a happy New Year. When he entered the stall area, the merchants started spontaneously singing a ditty from a Cell Phone company commercial he has recently starred in (see video below). One guy even gave him a Pineapple! A friggin Pineapple!! You know how expensive those things are?? And those fuckers never give anything good away! Like Arcadi really needed your Pineapple… But the predominantly Sephardic crowd at the Shuk are surprisingly easy to please – like a puppy who has been regularly beaten, show them a little attention and they’ll be your little bitches forever. I mean Menachem Begin showed up at the Shuk once like a million years ago, wearing a Kippah and to this day there are still images of him adorning many a stall.
Gaydamak has relatively unlimited resources and, as an outsider, he can ride the wave of discontent that many feel towards the current political establishment, which they see as corrupt and distant. Will this be enough to make up for the fact that Gaydamak doesn’t speak Hebrew and that he is an internationally wanted fugitive who has to travel on an Angolan diplomatic passport in order to avoid arrest? Well – he’s wanted in France so like, who cares? And even with his checkered past, he is still viewed as a breath of fresh air in a stale and moribund political arena. Out of sheer boredom I actually look forward to calling him Mr. Mayor. Besides, Gaydamak I can pronounce. Lupiolanski? Try saying that 3 times fast – you’ll sprain your jaw guaranteed.
This is Gaydamak’s video for Pelephone wherein he says that he’s tired of buying stuff and has had it with capitalism. Cute.