It really hit home last week that I wasn’t in Kansas anymore when I ran into John who told me that in anticipation of Passover, he was begining to hoard chametz. See John isn’t Jewish and as a Jerusalem resident, that puts him in the minority. So while all of us will be avoiding chametz like Superman avoids Kryptonite, John will be gorging himself on cereal and rice and all that chametzy goodness.
Heh. Passover in the land of Jews! How awesome willl that be? I’ll be able to get kosher for Passover food anywhere! No more will I be reduced to begging for food from my always well prepared parents, or restricting my diet during the course of the holiday to one box of Matza and whatever veggies I can get my hands on.
There is however one little thing though – in the diaspora, finding a goy to buy your chometz is usually as simple as knocking on your neighbours door. Here in Israel, it’s not so easy. There’s plenty of non-Jews but try explaining the whole buying/not buying chometz thing to people who don’t speak English.So along comes John to the rescue! Here we see John buying Laya’s chometz. Will John eat the chometz? Will Laya still have her pasta after Passover? Stay tuned and find out! In the meantime, read up about chometz here!
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Thank you for every other informative blog.
G Shock
a fun take on Pesach and chametz has been making the Internet rounds recently – if you check it out, be sure and also read thru the Q&A section further down the page, which is linked below (once you’re in the Q&A section, click “more” for the full set of questions and answers.) Enjoy.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=9505530539#description
While we’re on the subject, here’s a good one to bring up your holiday spirit…
THE CONVERT
Shmulik, a religious Jew as well as a financial genius, left Brooklyn for a job as CFO of a well known brokerage firm in Utah (which is known as the Mormon state).
The pressure on the company president from the directors was immense: “We can’t have a Jew running the business – we’re religious Mormons here,” they said.
The president took Shmulik aside for a talk and explained unequivocally that he would have to convert if he wanted to hold on to his honorable (not to mention 6-figure-earning) position. Shmulik had no choice. However difficult it might be to convert, it was less difficult than losing this great job. He went home and told his wife, “It’s simple. From this Sunday on we’ll be going to church with the kids”.
So passed a good few months, but his wife wouldn’t stop nagging him, saying, “It’s so difficult for me, I miss Shabbat, lighting candles, kiddush, festivals…you know money isn’t everything, Shmulik” The more she nagged him, the more Shmulik’s conscience bothered him, too. Finally, he’d had enough. He went back to the president of the company and said, “Listen, I can’t go on like this, my guilt is eating me up inside. Money isn’t everything. I can’t even sleep at night, and neither can my wife. It’s too much for me – I was born a Jew, and I want to die a Jew. If you want me to quit, I’ll leave without making a fuss.” The president looked at him in amazement and said “Listen Samuel, (that’s what they called him in Utah), I had no idea it was so tough for you.
I figured changing religions would be a simple thing. You know what, you’ve been a great asset to the company. We need you here. Stay Jewish as you wish. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of the rest”. Shmulik went home with a thrill in his heart and a spring in his step. He ran to his wife (who was on the couch watching Ricki Lake) and said, “Tzipporah, you won’t believe it, a miracle happened! We’re going back to being Jews, and it’s OK! I talked to my boss and he’s letting me keep my job!” Tzippy (that’s what they called her in Brooklyn) looked at him with eyes spitting fire and said “Tell me, ARE YOU NUTS????”
Shmuel looked at her in shock. But…but I thought that was what you wanted all along, what you were crying to me about day and night. What? You don’t want to go back to being Jewish?” Tzippy looked even more upset and said
“Of course I do – BUT NOW??? TWO WEEKS BEFORE PESACH?!?!?!?”
um… LMS… Wouldn’t she be the one paying the cash for the Chametz, not us paying her to take it? Maybe the problem is that she isn’t paid enough to be able to buy our chametz?
hey, you can sell your chometz to the non-jewish jewlicious models. the blonde haired blue eyed bimbo that represents jewlicious. the money will prob be useful to her since i cant imagine you pay her much.
It’s no joke, once when I was a kid, we sold our Hametz to our irish catholic neighbor, and he ate ALL of our good cereal! I was slightly traumatized.
Ha ha ariela – we’re smarter than that! See we chose John not just because he’s like the only non-filipino goy who lives in rechaviah and doesn’t work for the UN, but also because John is going to be in Tbilisi, Georgia during Passover and will not be able to eat any of our yummy chometz.
We are so smart.
We are so smart.
ESS-EM-ARE-TEE!
Eat the chametz, John!!!!
Besides, that roll is bound to go bad in the next week, anyway.
Sarah! I love you too! You won’t believe this, but I recently met a straight guy in Jerusalem that makes his own challah! And it’s good too!
I love John and I should have known he was a chametz hoarder when I met him over Shabbat dinner…that dude is a rela challah hog. 🙂 JK John I know you came for dessert. Coincidence?!!!
Dear Layaleh,
Get in the Pesach spirit, woman!
I did some research for online chometz sales (as bloggers that would seem the only logical way to, eh, do it.) The only serious attempt for world-wide online chometz sales is at Chabad.org It’s important to do the sale right, and in the right time, because having chometz on passover, even chometz that is in someone elses domain, is a real Torah Bummer. Its up there with some of the big no-nos.