Jewlicious

It’s Official: Madonna Is A Gentile

17 years ago
9 Comments
by Y-Love
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In case anyone was confused (or still cared): Madonna is not Jewish.

Madonna’s husband, Guy Ritchie, set the story straight for newsmagazine Extra — Judaism’s “newest ambassador” is more Mayflower than Red Sea Pedestrian:

Despite reports of Madonna canceling Christmas for the family, her husband Guy Ritchie tells Extra otherwise. Guys says that all their kids get 3 presents each during Christmas.

Ritchie says, “So by the time they get to the third present they’ve had their sugar hit. As long as the kids get three presents at Christmas, everyone’s being happy.”

And despite the fact that the family studies Kabbalah, they have not yet converted to Judaism so they don’t celebrate Hanukkah either. “I have not converted to Judaism and neither has my wife,” Ritchie said.

(Wait, doesn’t the Zohar speak extremely highly of menorah lighting (III:114b), saying it illuminates the sefirot? Damn Cliff’s Notes!)

Madonna had previously said that both Christmas and Easter were “cancelled” in her household, but perhaps Madonna’s change of heart with Hanukkah is tied into the fact that she has since stopped using her Hebrew name, Esther, instead choosing to go by her previously unused birth middle name, Louise. Maybe she’s even reneging on her previous disavowal of the divinity of the founder of Christianity.

I have to say I’m inclined to reach the same conclusion as The India Times, perhaps what we are seeing is the beginning of Madonna’s faith-based midlife identity crisis, which could end anywhere from mikva’ot to Rajasthani threads.

Y-Love
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About the author

Y-Love

A modern charedi Jew-by-choice since 2000, and igniting headphones with Torah hiphop since 2001.

Originally from Maryland and now holding it down in the shtetlach of New York, won the Jewish Music Awards for "Best Hiphop" in 2006. Vocally anti-prejudice and pro-unity.

Love me, hate me, or debate me, know you can't ignore me, though.

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9 Comments

  • So what, you can’t celebrate Christmas and still be a Jew? Anyway just because she acts “Jewish” sometimes, doesn’t make her a Jew. Did she ever “convert”?

  • Y-Love, Y-Love…..focus here….. you’re the best but should we care about this…again??

  • Thank God for this, on many levels.

    One, all the Kabob Center Heads running around claim that Kabobalah is the primary religion, and that Judaism is second.

    Second, all the Kabobniks that listen to my podcasts that call into great doubt Madonnas links to Judaism and kaballah, can now see that their idol has not hung up her stockings for good, rather they are still there on the mantel.

    Y-Love give us more!

  • In one of my impromptu impersonation-moments, I tried singing “Like a Virgin” in Yiddish: “azoy vi a bsule / batapt fir dos same ershte mol…”

  • Look, when you’re named after the mother of Jesus, you’re likely to have an identity crisis. As long as she’s not bad for the Jews, she can dabble in different religions until the sacred (or red) cow comes home.

    Secondly, Christmas and Easter are not canceled any more than there should be crying in baseball. Deny them, boycott them, but no one, even Madonna as apparent leader of the free world, can cancel them both.

    And third, anyone jonesin’ for a hit of those good old days when Madge and Brit were Kabbalah sisters, or when Madonna stole my name, can reflect on those moments by perusing the contents of the “Madonnanthology” category over at My Urban Kvetch,