Howdy! I’m getting ready for what is sure to be an extremely bizarre Hanukkah party in Tel Aviv, part of the GoEight series of parties, sponsored by Taglit-birthright israel, JDub Records and taking place everywhere from New York, to San Francisco, to Moscow, Toronto and Tel Aviv. For those of you who haven’t decided whether you’re going or not, here’s an updated presentation of most of the bands participating. Pass your mouse over the interface and go nuts:
For those of you wishing to vicariously experience the Tel Aviv Hanukkah event, load up Britney and Akon on your iPod and drink like it was Purim – don’t worry, the Maccabees are all dead… When I come back I’ll post some pics for ya, ok? OK!
Publisher at Jewlicious
Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.
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fifth night, matisyahu just rocked Brooklyn!
oh, and I realize “it’s the people, not the Torah.”
The fact that the sexual repression in this town is building up to be the largest explosion since Hiroshima has absolutely nothing to do with THE LAW or the way the people are applying it.
Good thing the most of the high school bochers are too busy smoking pot to notice what their Fathers are up to.
Top Ten Reasons Why a Frum Doctor Should Keep Medical Waste in His Basement:
10. So he can write off the extra Pesach Sub-Zero freezer as a business expense on his taxes.
9. Properly disposing of medical waste costs money that is better spent on 10 Yeshiva tuitions.
8. Medical waste is cheaper than cat food and the kids like to play with the strays.
7. If the patient dies on the table, he will be able to bury them with all their blood as required by halaka.
6. The frozen meal gemach also helps out frum vampires when they get to sick to cook for their families.
5. When you don’t believe in birth control, you need someplace to store all your wife’s miscarriages.
4. Spilling or wasting seed is a sin, saving it in aluminum trays after molesting patients might not be.
3. The cleaning lady doesn’t like doing the laundry when it is covered in ejaculation.
2. 10% of the money saved on disposing of it properly goes to support every kiruv organization in Plifton.
And the # 1 reason to why a frum doctor should keep medical waste in his basement:
Semen is a great cholesterol-free substitute for egg whites and when you don’t eat gebrukas during Pesach, you just go through so many crates of eggs.
Top Ten Reasons Why a Frum Doctor is Justified in Molesting A Patient:
10. That damn spot the size of a kezayis on his wife’s bedikah cloth.
9. If your beard is more than 2 amos long you are forgiven.
8. That damn spot the size of a beitzah on his wife’s bedikah cloth.
7. No one will believe the patient, she’s a balas tshuvah.
6. That damn spot the size of a revi’s on his wife’s bedikah cloth.
5. If the patient is a shiksah, no halakah’s were broken.
4. All medical treatments should always be done through clothing or else it’s the patient’s fault for inciting lustful thoughts in the Doctor.
3. Have you seen what his wife looks like without her sheitel?
2. After nursing 10 kids would you want to touch his wife’s breasts?
And the #1 reason why a Frum Doctor is justified in molesting a patient…
He was too much of a Talmud Chucham to be a Doctor…he should have been a Full Time Torah Scholar instead.
Stay tuned for my Top Ten Reason for keeping medical waste in your basement list….
Oh, and I don’t mean to be crude, but the next time your Glatt Kosher hostess goes down to the basement to grab a kugel from the extra freezer, make sure she doesn’t grab the tray of medical waste instead, I don’t think those have a hechser.
Not so happy here in the little town of Plifton. THE outreach family of the town, the very family that hosts all the pretty young balas tshuvas at their shabbat table to show them a shining example of what it means to give up your secular life and do TSHUVA is having a little difficulty.
I am offering this link not to spread loshen hara but just to reopen the discussion of what Negiah does to a person’s sex life, especially after the wife has had her 10th child at age 50.
Also just to point out that when a family has a gorgeous custom kitchen with milkig, fleshig, pareve and pesach sections…they should probably be spending less time having babies than renovating the Victorian.
http://www.northjersey.com/page.php?qstr=eXJpcnk3ZjczN2Y3dnFlZUVFeXk0OTkmZmdiZWw3Zjd2cWVlRUV5eTcyMjgxNzgmeXJpcnk3ZjcxN2Y3dnFlZUVFeXkz