Ach Levje…

It’s a rule of thumb that during times of economic hardship, people are more inclined to spend money on crap unnecessary objects than usually; the reasons for such behaviour are still much subject of discussion / research, but it seems that instant gratification plays a huge role in consumers’ shopping decisions. That, or guilt-tripping.

With St Guilt-Trip, uhmm, St Valentine’s Day around the corner, each and any object seems to turn pink, purple or blazing red. What used to be flowers and sweets, later also jewellery & perfumes, now has spread on to clothing, staple foods, interior decoration objects, kitchenware etc., and I wouldn’t be surprised to find heart pattern-embossed, rose scented, pink tinted toilet paper, too (afterall, there was reindeer embossed, gingerbread scented, off white TP available for XMas). Since pink dye apparently is way more costly than blue dye, prices on VD gift items also are considerably higher than on regular items, and some chutzpmatic fashion designers go as far as coming up with heart-adorned handbags and clothing items that sell at prices that could buy you a wing of Buckingham Palace. I kid you not. Call Liz. So I wouldn’t be surprised if even secular MOTs will be delighted to announce this year that they don’t carry on Shabos.

Can you tell, this post is all about love, love, love. (No, you’re not a Beatle. No, you don’t look hot in that Sgt Pepper’s-style uniform. Please, stop singing.) And that is where the post title comes into play.
In the area where I live, “Levje” is generally used to refer to a person one cherishes (though depending on the context and intonation, it can also denote a flirty-bordering-to-slutty young woman or a moron). The word’s origin is the Hebrew “lev”. I’ll spare you the details on migration and vowel shifts, but the word is closely related to a wide range of German and English words, such as “Liebe / love”, “Leber / liver” (cf. to E.M.W. Tillyard on how the liver used to be believed to be the body’s centre of life), “Leben / life” – even “Lebkuchen” (= gingerbread), which traditionally comes in heart shapes and is called “Levkooche” in this area.

And since this post is all about love, love, love (seriously now, shut it), I’d like to share a few insights I gained from reading about a survey I found while browsing the internets. The survey was on what men think about women, so here are a few gems followed by my interpretations:

41% think their best buddy’s girlfriend is taboo. 59% fantasize about her.
8% are happily single. Mummy cooks best.
74% prefer to impress women with their intelligence. 74% of women are greatly unimpressed.
31% first pay attention to a woman’s looks. Okay, afterall…
78% first pay attention to a woman’s character and personality. … 109% verify the answers were given in all honesty.
62% have already written a love letter. And stopped when it was returned with red ink marks indicating punctuation mistakes.
45% think leggings on women’s legs are horrible. If only 45% of women thought so, too.
89% of single men miss getting hugged. That’s because 89% of women do not wish to be felt up.
76% think it’s attractive if women can cook. 24% have managed to order take-out.
45% think that women care most about a man’s income. 95% of women would agree.
55% are too shy to strike up a conversation with women. Mummy wouldn’t like her anyway.
47% enjoy dancing. as in head-banging / pogo
51% are annoyed by the “Do you think I’m fat?”-question. No matter what the answer may be, they can’t win.