Save Passover: Today I was an Alcoholic…

Our Save Passover initiative has already raised $485.67 from 19 generous donors! Today, along with the 33 NIS boxes of Matza (5 packs to a box!) I also bought some modest 30 NIS bottles of wine. The Passover seder involves the consumption of lots and lots of wine and since you guys have been so generous, I figured why not? But there was a problem. How do I give away wine? What possible story could I offer without making people feel bad for accepting a hand out? That’s when inspiration struck and I decided to recast myself as a recovering alcoholic! But my friends and family don’t know see? And they gifted me with all this wine that I can’t possibly have anywhere near me or else I’ll relapse and soon they will see me wandering the streets of the shuk at night yelling incoherently at passerby, my 6 years 4 months and 7 days of complete abstinence shot to hell! So yeah, it worked! People were really nice about it too as they unburdened me of that sweet, sweet life destroying nectar of the Gods. Heh.

I also need to thank Shula (not her real name) for her inadvertent help in identifying needy families in the hood. Shula is a widow with 5 boys and she knows everybody! She made some calls and I was able to get rid of the last of my wine and Matza. Problem now is I can never buy a beer and drink it in public. Oh well. We all have our crosses to bear! So to speak… In any case, should you wish to make any last minute contributions to Save Passover, you can use the button below. Thanks so much to everyone who has participated in this crazy project! And those of you that haven’t, here’s your last chance!

Also, as I mentioned in a previous post:

If you want to make a big donation, need a tax deduction or simply feel that I will spend your money on coke and hookers, please visit the Table to Table Web site and make a donation there while reading about their many innovative programs that aim to fight food hunger and waste in Israel. Like what? Like their Hametz initiative! Instead of throwing away your Hametz, you give it to Table To Table, they sell it, store it, and after Passover give it to food banks and stuff! Neat right?

Seriously. They’re much better at this than I am…