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Nazi Raccoons Gone Wild!

19 years ago
6 Comments
by ck
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“Hiel Hitler!” in Raccoonese.

Vineyard owners across Germany are hiring bounty hunters to kill thousands of raccoons who have overrun vineyards in central Germany. The raccoons are native to North America. Two were released into the wild in 1934 under the wise guidance of Nazi leader Hermann Goering. Goering, who was head of the air force, was also the chief forester of the Third Reich. The raccoons were meant to enrich German woodlands, but with no natural predators, their population exploded.

The nocturnal mammals descended on vineyards in the Brandenburg region, west of Berlin, ruining the harvest. Ripening grapes are a favourite snack of the stripy-tailed rodent … ‘Raccoons wiped out almost the entire harvest in a matter of days,’ winemaker Werner Kothe told Deutsche Presse-Agentur. ‘We have 540 vines and they have been stripped bare by these animals.’

Neither The Simon Wiesenthal Center nor the Anti-Defamation League have released any statements regarding this matter. Also, anyone who really cares about German wine growing will be relieved to note that “the main winegrowing regions in west Germany – including the Mosel, Rheingau, Saar and Pfalz areas – are believed to be unaffected.” Phew.

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ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

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6 Comments

  • This is the cutest friggin raccoon! Every time I see this pic I love him more. My son and I collect toy raccoons because of the beautiful children’s book “the kissing hand” by Audrey Penn. I am going to make a birthday card for him from this pic.
    Anyway, I think having the PETA activists descend on Germany with their usual zeal would be nice. Not many groups advocated for the Jews during the Holocaust, but I’m sure the Animal Rights people will give the German government a good amount of aggrevation regarding this issue.

  • I will be going to Austria soon, I feel a bit queasy about that place as well. I may just stuff myself w/ their fancy cakes and liquors whilst I have to be there.

  • Who said Racoons were rodents? I didn’t even see the word rodent in the text. Maybe I’m just reading the p’shat of the text and need also to know the Sod, remez, and Drash to understand your comment on rodents. Maybe there they mention racoons as rodents?

  • My dad would love to do this.

    During a trip to Europe he drove completely AROUND the Deutschland to avoid even stopping in it to use the bathroom. It was ridiculous. I think he’s hunt their raccoons though.

  • I predict raccoon caps will be the latest national fashion trend over there.