Let’s get it on…
Kristallnacht, the two days of attacks against Jews in Germany that began 66 years ago today is considered the start of the Holocaust. By the time the Night of Broken Glass had ended, dozens of Jews had been murdered, 30,000 had been sent to concentration camps and 200 synagogues and 7,500 Jewish-owned businesses had been destroyed. Jews everywhere will commemorate this event today with sombre memorial ceremonies. Jewlicious would like to suggest that you mark this occasion by getting it on with a fellow Jew – you know, sort of like a big F You to those who sought to destroy us then and to those who to this day, continue to wish us ill.
Not that you should skip out on the memorials or anything, but I think our idea is a tad more compelling than yet another bleak speech by various designated community leaders. So, on Kristallnacht, light5 some scented candles, slip some Barry White into the CD player, dim the lights and get your groove on. They lost, we won – let’s rub it in.
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Shiksa? I see dark roots there!
I know a couple of very Jewish women who look pretty much like that woman.
also for the record, i have to object to this too, on two accounts 1) the obvious 2) the fact that the blond looks like a total shiksa
Michael: He was in the bathroom bathing. She spontaneously walked in on him signaling her intentions by her lack of clothing and playful embrace. I’ll allow you to fill in the rest…
TM: Apparently, a married couple for whom a birth would be difficult can get a heter to use the pill for birth control. The same goes for a diaphragm and spermicidal jelly. However one can never or hardly ever get a heter to use a condom. A condom results in direct spillage of seed by the man which is unnacceptable, whereas the other methods are indirect and and done by the woman and therefore more acceptable. Also a condom creates a separation between a man and a woman and, despite persistent false rumors about sheets with holes in them used for lovemaking by Orthodox Jews, is also not allowed.
Now I have heard that some Jewish men, whose wives have decided to stop sleeping with them, receive a heter to make use of sex trade workers and/or pilegshim (concubines). While I think this sort of thing is distasteful, I would presume that such men would also receive a heter to use condoms if only for the sake of pikuach nefesh, to prevent the contraction and transmission of a possibly fatal social disease.
But I am not a rabbi. Please consult askmoses.com or your local orthodox rabbi for a proper explanation. Perhaps one of the several duly ordained rabbis that read this blog may wish to pipe in at this point (Rabbi Yonah? Help me out here…).
Tip of the hat to laya and viv for the enlightening discussion this afternoon on just this subject.
By the way, CK, what particularly inspired you to choose soapy bathtub loving to illustrate this post? Because, really, I can’t see how combining sex and shampoo could be anything but a recipe for disaster. And why is his hair wet and shampooed and his face apparently shaving-creamed while she is high and dry? CK, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?
Well, I’d heard as long as you intend to procreate at some point, and are married, the pill is permissible…but I’ve also seen a lot of people say no birth control is permitted at all except under special circumstances…so…um…maybe I just suck at halacha.
How is the pill kosher? Aren’t you still spilling seed in vain?
Now, we all know condoms are a halachically impermissible form of birth control. But the pill’s all good!
Of course we need sponsorship. How else will we afford all the condoms? (sorry Ariela; cute jewish babies may have to wait a few years…)
ck, i am starting to get how this website works, and were the ‘licious’ in jewlicious comes from.
keep on the good work…
Kids: I believe some people might take offense.
We’ll need to find them partners.
I don’t know, given the Hillel on my campus, I can definitely see a “Hook-Up Shabbat” happening…so hook-up Kristallnacht could probably easily get at least, like, Reconstructionist sponsorship.
You need sponsorship to hook up??
I can literally say I’ve never heard of any community Kristallnacht commemoration that involved hooking up. Not that it’s a bad idea…from broken windows to Barry White in 66 years…interesting. Just don’t look for synagogue sponsorship.
ariela: as momma said “from your lips to g*d’s ears…”
Great post!
Don’t just get it on — Make some babies. Cute, happy, Jewish babies. 😛