I called for my lovers, but they deceived me

It is the custom of Jews around the world to recite the book of Lamentations upon nightfall of Tisha B’Av. it is read sitting on the ground, with candles, shrouds covering the Holy Ark instead of the usual paroches, or it stands bare. Tisha B’Av we mourn for not just the destruction of our Temples – but for the circumstances that that led to their destruction. For customs of when Shabbat and Tisha B Av merge into one another see below the break for comments by Rav Fischer of Young Israel of Irvine. (apologies for the archaic English – if someone has a link – post below)

Lamentations Chapter 1

א אֵיכָה יָשְׁבָה בָדָד, הָעִיר רַבָּתִי עָם–הָיְתָה, כְּאַלְמָנָה; רַבָּתִי בַגּוֹיִם, שָׂרָתִי בַּמְּדִינוֹת–הָיְתָה, לָמַס. {ס}	1Chapter 1 How doth the city sit solitary, that was full of people! How is she become as a widow! She that was great among the nations, and princess among the provinces, how is she become tributary! {S}
ב בָּכוֹ תִבְכֶּה בַּלַּיְלָה, וְדִמְעָתָהּ עַל לֶחֱיָהּ–אֵין-לָהּ מְנַחֵם, מִכָּל-אֹהֲבֶיהָ: כָּל-רֵעֶיהָ בָּגְדוּ בָהּ, הָיוּ לָהּ לְאֹיְבִים. {ס}	2 She weepeth sore in the night, and her tears are on her cheeks; she hath none to comfort her among all her lovers; all her friends have dealt treacherously with her, they are become her enemies. {S}
×’ גָּלְתָה יְהוּדָה מֵעֹנִי, וּמֵרֹב עֲבֹדָה–הִיא יָשְׁבָה בַגּוֹיִם, לֹא מָצְאָה מָנוֹחַ; כָּל-רֹדְפֶיהָ הִשִּׂיגוּהָ, בֵּין הַמְּצָרִים. {ס}	3 Judah is gone into exile because of affliction, and because of great servitude; she dwelleth among the nations, she findeth no rest; all her pursuers overtook her within the straits. {S}
ד דַּרְכֵי צִיּוֹן אֲבֵלוֹת, מִבְּלִי בָּאֵי מוֹעֵד–כָּל-שְׁעָרֶיהָ שׁוֹמֵמִין, כֹּהֲנֶיהָ נֶאֱנָחִים; בְּתוּלֹתֶיהָ נּוּגוֹת, וְהִיא מַר-לָהּ. {ס}	4 The ways of Zion do mourn, because none come to the solemn assembly; all her gates are desolate, her priests sigh; her virgins are afflicted, and she herself is in bitterness. {S}
ה הָיוּ צָרֶיהָ לְרֹאשׁ אֹיְבֶיהָ שָׁלוּ, כִּי-יְהוָה הוֹגָהּ עַל רֹב-פְּשָׁעֶיהָ; עוֹלָלֶיהָ הָלְכוּ שְׁבִי, לִפְנֵי-צָר. {ס}	5 Her adversaries are become the head, her enemies are at ease; for the LORD hath afflicted her for the multitude of her transgressions; her young children are gone into captivity before the adversary. {S}
ו וַיֵּצֵא מן בת- (מִבַּת-) צִיּוֹן, כָּל-הֲדָרָהּ; הָיוּ שָׂרֶיהָ, כְּאַיָּלִים לֹא-מָצְאוּ מִרְעֶה, וַיֵּלְכוּ בְלֹא-כֹחַ, לִפְנֵי רוֹדֵף. {ס}	6 And gone is from the daughter of Zion all her splendour; her princes are become like harts that find no pasture, and they are gone without strength before the pursuer. {S}
×– זָכְרָה יְרוּשָׁלִַם, יְמֵי עָנְיָהּ וּמְרוּדֶיהָ–כֹּל מַחֲמֻדֶיהָ, אֲשֶׁר הָיוּ מִימֵי קֶדֶם; בִּנְפֹל עַמָּהּ בְּיַד-צָר, וְאֵין עוֹזֵר לָהּ–רָאוּהָ צָרִים, שָׂחֲקוּ עַל מִשְׁבַּתֶּהָ. {ס}	7 Jerusalem remembereth in the days of her affliction and of her anguish all her treasures that she had from the days of old; now that her people fall by the hand of the adversary, and none doth help her, the adversaries have seen her, they have mocked at her desolations. {S}
ח חֵטְא חָטְאָה יְרוּשָׁלִַם, עַל-כֵּן לְנִידָה הָיָתָה; כָּל-מְכַבְּדֶיהָ הִזִּילוּהָ כִּי-רָאוּ עֶרְוָתָהּ, גַּם-הִיא נֶאֶנְחָה וַתָּשָׁב אָחוֹר. {ס}	8 Jerusalem hath grievously sinned, therefore she is become as one unclean; all that honoured her despise her, because they have seen her nakedness; she herself also sigheth, and turneth backward. {S}
ט טֻמְאָתָהּ בְּשׁוּלֶיהָ, לֹא זָכְרָה אַחֲרִיתָהּ, וַתֵּרֶד פְּלָאִים, אֵין מְנַחֵם לָהּ; רְאֵה יְהוָה אֶת-עָנְיִי, ×›Ö¼Ö´×™ הִגְדִּיל אוֹיֵב. {ס}	9 Her filthiness was in her skirts, she was not mindful of her end; therefore is she come down wonderfully, she hath no comforter. ‘Behold, O LORD, my affliction, for the enemy hath magnified himself.’ {S}
×™ יָדוֹ פָּרַשׂ צָר, עַל כָּל-מַחֲמַדֶּיהָ: ×›Ö¼Ö´×™-רָאֲתָה גוֹיִם, בָּאוּ מִקְדָּשָׁהּ–אֲשֶׁר צִוִּיתָה, לֹא-יָבֹאוּ בַקָּהָל לָךְ. {ס}	10 The adversary hath spread out his hand upon all her treasures; for she hath seen that the heathen are entered into her sanctuary, concerning whom Thou didst command that they should not enter into Thy congregation. {S}
יא כָּל-עַמָּהּ נֶאֱנָחִים מְבַקְּשִׁים לֶחֶם, נָתְנוּ מחמודיהם (מַחֲמַדֵּיהֶם) בְּאֹכֶל לְהָשִׁיב נָפֶשׁ; רְאֵה יְהוָה וְהַבִּיטָה, ×›Ö¼Ö´×™ הָיִיתִי זוֹלֵלָה. {ס}	11 All her people sigh, they seek bread; they have given their pleasant things for food to refresh the soul. ‘See, O LORD, and behold, how abject I am become.’ {S}
יב לוֹא אֲלֵיכֶם, כָּל-עֹבְרֵי דֶרֶךְ–הַבִּיטוּ וּרְאוּ, אִם-יֵשׁ מַכְאוֹב כְּמַכְאֹבִי אֲשֶׁר עוֹלַל לִי: אֲשֶׁר הוֹגָה יְהוָה, בְּיוֹם חֲרוֹן אַפּוֹ. {ס}	12 ‘Let it not come unto you, all ye that pass by! Behold, and see if there be any pain like unto my pain, which is done unto me, wherewith the LORD hath afflicted me in the day of His fierce anger. {S}
×™×’ מִמָּרוֹם שָׁלַח-אֵשׁ בְּעַצְמֹתַי, וַיִּרְדֶּנָּה; פָּרַשׂ רֶשֶׁת לְרַגְלַי, הֱשִׁיבַנִי אָחוֹר–נְתָנַנִי שֹׁמֵמָה, כָּל-הַיּוֹם דָּוָה. {ס}	13 From on high hath He sent fire into my bones, and it prevaileth against them; He hath spread a net for my feet, He hath turned me back; He hath made me desolate and faint all the day. {S}
יד נִשְׂקַד עֹל פְּשָׁעַי בְּיָדוֹ, יִשְׂתָּרְגוּ עָלוּ עַל-צַוָּארִי–הִכְשִׁיל ×›Ö¼Ö¹×—Ö´×™; נְתָנַנִי אֲדֹנָי, בִּידֵי לֹא-אוּכַל קוּם. {ס}	14 The yoke of my transgressions is impressed by His hand; they are knit together, they are come up upon my neck; He hath made my strength to fail; the Lord hath delivered me into their hands, against whom I am not able to stand. {S}
טו סִלָּה כָל-אַבִּירַי אֲדֹנָי בְּקִרְבִּי, קָרָא עָלַי מוֹעֵד לִשְׁבֹּר בַּחוּרָי; גַּת דָּרַךְ אֲדֹנָי, לִבְתוּלַת בַּת-יְהוּדָה. {ס}	15 The Lord hath set at nought all my mighty men in the midst of me; He hath called a solemn assembly against me to crush my young men; the Lord hath trodden as in a winepress the virgin the daughter of Judah.’ {S}
טז עַל-אֵלֶּה אֲנִי בוֹכִיָּה, ×¢Öµ×™× Ö´×™ ×¢Öµ×™× Ö´×™ יֹרְדָה מַּיִם–×›Ö¼Ö´×™-רָחַק מִמֶּנִּי מְנַחֵם, מֵשִׁיב נַפְשִׁי; הָיוּ בָנַי שׁוֹמֵמִים, ×›Ö¼Ö´×™ גָבַר אוֹיֵב. {ס}	16 ‘For these things I weep; mine eye, mine eye runneth down with water; because the comforter is far from me, even he that should refresh my soul; my children are desolate, because the enemy hath prevailed.’ {S}
×™×– פֵּרְשָׂה צִיּוֹן בְּיָדֶיהָ, אֵין מְנַחֵם לָהּ–צִוָּה יְהוָה לְיַעֲקֹב, סְבִיבָיו צָרָיו; הָיְתָה יְרוּשָׁלִַם לְנִדָּה, בֵּינֵיהֶם. {ס}	17 Zion spreadeth forth her hands; there is none to comfort her; the LORD hath commanded concerning Jacob, that they that are round about him should be his adversaries; Jerusalem is among them as one unclean. {S}
×™×— צַדִּיק הוּא יְהוָה, ×›Ö¼Ö´×™ פִיהוּ מָרִיתִי; שִׁמְעוּ-נָא כָל-עמים (הָעַמִּים), וּרְאוּ מַכְאֹבִי–בְּתוּלֹתַי וּבַחוּרַי, הָלְכוּ בַשֶּׁבִי. {ס}	18 ‘The LORD is righteous; for I have rebelled against His word; hear, I pray you, all ye peoples, and behold my pain: my virgins and my young men are gone into captivity. {S}
יט קָרָאתִי לַמְאַהֲבַי הֵמָּה רִמּוּנִי, כֹּהֲנַי וּזְקֵנַי בָּעִיר גָּוָעוּ: כִּי-בִקְשׁוּ אֹכֶל לָמוֹ, וְיָשִׁיבוּ אֶת-נַפְשָׁם. {ס}	19 I called for my lovers, but they deceived me; my priests and mine elders perished in the city, while they sought them food to refresh their souls. {S}
×› רְאֵה יְהוָה ×›Ö¼Ö´×™-צַר-לִי, מֵעַי חֳמַרְמָרוּ–נֶהְפַּךְ לִבִּי בְּקִרְבִּי, ×›Ö¼Ö´×™ מָרוֹ מָרִיתִי; מִחוּץ שִׁכְּלָה-חֶרֶב, בַּבַּיִת כַּמָּוֶת. {ס}	20 Behold, O LORD, for I am in distress, mine inwards burn; my heart is turned within me, for I have grievously rebelled. Abroad the sword bereaveth, at home there is the like of death. {S}
כא שָׁמְעוּ ×›Ö¼Ö´×™ נֶאֱנָחָה אָנִי, אֵין מְנַחֵם לִי–כָּל-אֹיְבַי שָׁמְעוּ רָעָתִי שָׂשׂוּ, ×›Ö¼Ö´×™ אַתָּה עָשִׂיתָ; הֵבֵאתָ יוֹם-קָרָאתָ, וְיִהְיוּ כָמֹנִי. {ס}	21 They have heard that I sigh, there is none to comfort me; all mine enemies have heard of my trouble, and are glad, for Thou hast done it; Thou wilt bring the day that Thou hast proclaimed, and they shall be like unto me. {S}
כב תָּבֹא כָל-רָעָתָם לְפָנֶיךָ וְעוֹלֵל לָמוֹ, כַּאֲשֶׁר עוֹלַלְתָּ לִי עַל כָּל-פְּשָׁעָי: ×›Ö¼Ö´×™-רַבּוֹת אַנְחֹתַי, וְלִבִּי דַוָּי. {פ}	22 Let all their wickedness come before Thee; and do unto them, as Thou hast done unto me for all my transgressions; for my sighs are many and my heart is faint.’ Continue reading here: http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt3201.htm

* We do not recite Havdalah after Shabbat over a candle or with wine or with spices. We merely recite “Barukh Hamavdil bein kodesh l’khol,” as in the attached document. That’s it. (At shul, we will recite the blessing over light.)

* We do not eat food, drink, wear leather shoes, apply ointments and salves, wash, or have intimate marital relationships on Tisha B’Av. Thus, Yom Kippur rules of mourning apply. However, we may drive, use lights, etc. Thus, Shabbat rules do not apply.

* We avoid sitting in chairs, but instead sit on floors, etc., on Tisha B’Av until 1:00 p.m. on Sunday. Thereafter, we may sit on chairs.

* We do not don tallit or tefillin in the morning service. Rather, we do at Mincha in the afternoon. We do wear tzitzit all day.

* We mourn. It is not a day for anything other than sadness and mourning. We mourn what happened to us, and we reflect on what we did to bring onto ourselves this punishment — the wanton hate, Jews just hating other Jews’ guts for no good reason, just slandering others for no productive purpose other than to destroy them, just hating the guts of other Jews. (Note: It is permitted and proper to hate evil. Thus, it is appropriate to have hated Bugsy Siegel, Meyer Lansky, Arnold Rothstein, and others in organized crime. It is appropriate to hate those who are evil. That hate is not what caused destruction of the Second Beit HaMikdash in Roman times.) The purpose of the fast is to contemplate that past, to take note, and to emerge stronger and resolved to move ahead with love and acceptance of all Jews of all stripes and all quirks. Love and acceptance are critical components of our Young Israel family, and they are the sine qua non of our religious spiritual community.

* Because it is a day we mourn, we do not make even light jokes. Other than watching TV news, we do not watch TV. We do not watch sports. We merely devote the day to mourning. Oy meh hayah lanu – Oy, what happened to us. At Young Israel, we will be running films at the community room throughout the day on the message. The films all are award-winning documentaries, some won Academy Awards for the Wiesenthal Center, and our showing of a professionally modified “Schindler’s List.”

* After the fast ends on Sunday night at 8:21 p.m., we recite Havdalah over a cup of wine or beer. Only the one-paragraph brachah on the liquid and hamavdil is recited. Nothing is recited for a candle (no candle on Sunday night, no spices) nor for sweet spices. If one uses wine or grape juice, he may drink it. However, because wine and grape juice otherwise are not drunk on the 10th of Av either, I prefer reciting over beer.

* The basic rules of the Nine Days (no meat, no wine or grape juice, no laundering, no music, no swimming) continue into the Tenth Day of Av. Ideally, those restrictions end on Monday night at 8:21 p.m. However, if there is a personal need to suspend those restrictions sooner, one may suspend them on Monday after 1:00 p.m. in the afternoon.

Rabbi Dov Fischer
Rav, Young Israel of Orange County
Irvine, CA 92612