We were looking for a way to objectively assess the progress of Jewlicious. Of course we have access to server stats and everything but those are just pages and pages of boooring numbers. So we decided we would rely on Gematria. Gematria is a field of Jewish mysticism finding hidden meanings in the numerical value or words (thanks jewfaq.org). Luckily there is an online tool that assists you with your analysis and the results are as follows:
Only 39% evil. That’s pretty good, no? Thanks Gematriculator!
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errr…as a quick follow up, turns out that when you put my first and last name in, it returns 50% evil. However, amazingly enough, if you put my middle name in as well, it returns an amazingly low 1% evil. Damn. However, if you put in the real name of the urban pimp, which I decline to share, you get 98% evil. (oddly, however, depending on how you spell it, you can get it to return 3% evil rather than 98%. Hmmmn…I guess a rose by any other name smells just as sweet but it may turn out to be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more evil…)
I’m pleased to announce that Gematriculator shows that http://www.theurbanpimp.com is less evil than jewlicious, since it gets a 22% evil rating. http://www.penthouse.com is a mere 17% evil. Even http://www.hornyteens.com merely gets 50% evil. But the truly shocking thing is that the Hertfordshire Satanists Society (http://www.dpjs.co.uk/hertfordshire/) get a remarkably low 26% evil for their contribution to world religion. Hmmmn. I’m starting to think that I should stop reading jewlicious, become a satanists, take advice from monsieur urban pimp and read penthouse til my callouses are only 17% evil.