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Golan Cipel! Phone Home!

Golan, your parents are freaking out. You haven’t called in over a week and they have no idea where to find you. Your Mom had to move out of the house because of all the calls she’s been getting about her little boy. Your dad, Rishon Letzion cab driver Avraham Cipel, can’t believe you tried to blackmail the Governor of New Jersey, “it’s not in [your] character” he says. Shas MK Avi Yehezkiel, who you used to work for, can’t believe the allegations either, he said women often flirted with you. “He was the most-sought-after man in the Parliament. I’ll be surprised if what they said about him is true.” That’s right. Shas MK.

fuggedaboud itIn other news, in an interview with AP, Golan Cipel declared that he is in fact straight. How can this story get any stranger? I’ll tell you how – In the aftermath of all this weirdness, a recent poll has shown that Governor McGreevey’s popularity in New Jersey has actually gone up.

This really does make the Sopranos seem dull

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6 Comments

  1. Tiff

    8/16/2004 at 10:19 am

    He’s straight, huh?
    I don’t know, I think I’ll believe the governor with everything to lose over an Israeli trying to save face with mommy. Not that it matters…

  2. Janice

    8/16/2004 at 3:05 pm

    People — you have to understand that a straight guy being persued by a homosexual is all the more upset, because he’s not “feeling the love” in return.

  3. Tiff

    8/16/2004 at 5:44 pm

    All the more upset than what? Straight on straight?
    Straight on gay? I’m confused.

  4. Stenis le Menace

    8/16/2004 at 9:01 pm

    Yeah, I’m with tiff. Whose getting upset by not feeling the love by who? Seems like our ‘straight’ guy managed to bend himself out of shape enough to reap the rewards off top aid positions and so forth. Very mysterious. Maybe by Cipel’s standards I’m a vegetarian despite the meat I tend to enjoy from time to time (*ahem* pardong the nasty pun…)

  5. Lisa

    8/20/2004 at 7:32 am

    Golan never worked for Shas – he worked for Labor.

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