You know those movies where you meet a character who is so strikingly lovely that it’s a dead giveaway? They’re so pretty, they must be evil. (See Cillian Murphy, of Batman Begins and RedEye.)

Well, JDate’s gone under the knife and had itself an Extreme Makeover, and is relaunching soon. A friend forwarded an email with the link to the teaser promo, which features some rather porny music, in my humble (and of course completely unacquainted with porn) opinion. (A point independently verified by some JDaters Anonymous readers, by the way…)

And I’m sure that this version will be more beautiful and higher functioning and fair and worth the money than ever. Unless it is…um, evil.

Esther Kustanowitz

About the author

Esther Kustanowitz

For more posts by Esther, see EstherK.com, MyUrbanKvetch.com and JDatersAnonymous.com.

19 Comments

  • Yes well there are better ways to promote a Jewish dating site, the Catskills, used to be like this.
    Now they are just another suburb of Manhattan.
    ey, IS that the general level of raunchiness there ?

  • From the disaster that is jsirpicco’s post, and with the pleasures of cut and paste, I think I’ve come up with quite a unique JDate profile/Philip Rothian Jewish rant:

    THESE OBNOXIOUS JEW PEOPLE!!! FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD TO SEE- You better be in the RIGHT ASSHOLE! AND I MEAN IT! beat me beat me beat me…

    You’re LIKE all the wimpy Jewish unwashed armpits, unshaven face, cigarettes…MORE!

    Hey. Are you an Asian chick? Easy fat Jewish butt IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!!!

    Gut Shabbossssssss.

  • there are anti-trusts measures and the concept of fair play does exist even in this capitalist paradise.

  • Eva, I’m in advertising sales and many companies and most advertising agencies pay for exclusives or for their competitors ads not to run, it’s called wanting to market in an “uncluttered media” , not “anti-competitive”. The goal of advertising IS to wipe out the competition and become the behemoth, again it’s called “capitalism” people A.K.A. “The American Way”.

  • Jdate Sucks not because they want to make money, but because they took the worst vibe of every Jewish Catskills singles weekend MAKE ME THROW UP OVER BEING WITH ALL THESE OBNOXIOUS JEW PEOPLE!!!

    and turned it into a 24-7 instant access utter waste of freaking time…

    AND NOW, FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD TO SEE —-MY PERSONAL NEUROSIS ON JDATE YEAH, BABY…
    The chicks are all like:
    You better be everything in the world to me, RIGHT NOW, ASSHOLE! AND I MEAN IT! I’m not cyber dating just ANYONE, YOU KNOW! (unless you’re cute, hee hee – or an Israeli soldier, yeah baby, oh yeah oh yeah oh yeeeaaaahhhhhh!!!!!! Give it to me Uri! Yes, beat me beat me beat me…

    You’re so NOT LIKE all the wimpy Jewish guys I met my whole life. I love your unwashed armpits, and your unshaven face, the smell of cigarettes all the time…the way you slam me against the wall….

    Oh…interrogate me SOME MORE!

    But – if you’re not one of them, then YOU BETTER BE GODM DAMN FREAKING RICH, JEWBOY! I didn’t grow up to be the fat beauty I am just to go with anyone…

    Ugh…don’t even bother! Next.

    And then the guys are like: Hey. Are you hot? Well, are you, or not? Why not? If you’re even a pound overweight I’m going to reject you!

    No I won’t call you back. No I don’t need a good job. Just lay down and spread them…come on, –we’re ONE PEOPLE HERE….

    hmmmm…well, maybe I can get an Asian chick. They’re thin!!! They do stuff….easy, too. No hassles….You know what,…don’t even write me. Don’t call me. Just take your fat Jewish butt and get away from me. My mother was right. NO ONE IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!!! Next!

    That’s what Jdate has done for the world.

    Oh, and Jobber – gosh. Does the word BORE ME TO TEARS MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU????

    Gut Shabbossssssss 🙂

  • it’s not that they are evil, they are catering to a market that is not so high brow as some would like, not the NY Times Sunday Lit section/ Museum crowd. But they are not pretencious at least, this is a site for hook ups, nothing more, nothing less. Even tho many in the community want something more. I have a site coming out soon that will address this discrepancy.

  • Muffti doesn’t really use dating sites, but can you explain exactly what the evil of Jdate is? The post on why they are evil didn’t really make it seem like THEY are evil somuch as theyhave some evil users (and some very stupid ones with too much money). Muffti isn’t doubting you; he’d just like to know exactly what they do wrong.

  • Eva, most successful businesses are copies. McDonalds, was a copy that the founder saw elsewhere. Even much of art and music is copies. I sit and hear spanish music all day long, different stations at the same time. This creates a harmonic fusion that I am ‘creating’ for my Jewish music CD. Awesome stuff.

  • I am so not promoting it, Eva. I haven’t been an active member for nearly a year. And I called it evil! As others here have done many times before me! People expect dating and singles-related posts from me, so when I found out about it, I just thought people might like to be informed…

    Clearly, “the people” have spoken, and I shall never mention their name here again. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program of discussions about the validity of the Conservative movement, Hurricanes as Divine Punishment, and American Apparel.

    (And how in the WORLD did my “minutes” from the “Jewlicious Leadership Summit” crack the top five most commented posts? That seems wrong somehow…)

  • Oh wow. I am so excited! JDate has upgraded! Video Chat! New interactive online magazine! Now where have I seen that before?

    Oh yeah. On JMatch, what may very well be the last viable independant alternative to the behemoth that JDate is. But thatis JDate’s style – see what works elsewhere and copy it. That in tandem with their anti-competitive marketing practices where they pay advertising venues like Haaretz and Jerusalem Post NOT to carry ads by competitors, assures the Jewish community that the bulk of Jewish online dating will be controlled by an entity that sees nothing wrong in allowing non-Jews to sign up and date Jewish members.

    I don’t understand why it is tht Jewlicious, one of the few online entities that has taken on the bullshit spewed by JDate, to the extent that JDate’s planned IPO may have been cancelled due to the skewering it received here, why you guys are running a JDate fluff piece. And on top of that, doesn’t JMatch, JDate’s only surviving mainstream competitor advertise on Jewlicious too?

    JDate sucks monkey balls. Why are you people promoting it?

  • Many are jealous that they didn’t have the balls to do this first, this Jdate. I admire Jdate for being the most well known brand. They probably spend money on overpaid PR people, who do manage to do something. I myself am getting involved in such a web site that will launch soon.

  • Loved the teaser and the porn music! Maybe it will inspire the guys to get off the porn websites and put down the remote to the cable porn channels and start interacting with real Jewish women. Attracting new members can only be a good thing…I’ve been looking at the same faces for 3 years. Investing some money in a slick new look and marketing campaign shows they are not filtering the money into some Palestinian underground organization. Naughty is not evil!

  • What do you think businesses do in this country? They make money for profit. What would you prefer they do with the information…sell it to others for more money? Deliver free dinner to people’s doorsteps? Mail people unwanted information on the intricasies of Orthodox Judiasm? How are they ripping people off? Everything is disclosed up front, there are no hidden fees. They are not “the power”, they are just a corporation. The kind that pays corporate taxes and fuels the economy, as opposed to the tax-exempt religious organizations you probably prefer. You are a communist.

  • JDate Sucks. I hope the new site flops. They’re sitting on hundreds of thousands of Jewish people’s information and all they use it for is to make money…and rip people off.

    Fight the power. Boycott Jdate!

  • yah, its called 28 days later ‘ere in the states too, did you see the different endings on the DVD? its pretty cool, but Dawn of the Dead is me fave

  • Cillian Murphy was also in an AWESOME movie called 28 Days Later (maybe it’s called 29 Days Later in the States). Not evil there – good guy in evil surroundings though…