}

I Don’t Care About Mormons

Folks are in an uproar with news that Mormons have posthumously baptized Daniel Pearl, a Jewish journalist who was murdered by Muslim extremist terrorists in Pakistan. This is something the Mormons do all the time – Anne Frank has been baptized 9 times. Elie Wiesel recently discovered that his name and that of his grandparents have been entered into a database for future baptism and conversion. The Mormons mean well of course – it is their hope that those posthumously baptized will be able to go to heaven, despite being encumbered by, Jewishness.

But see, the thing is, I’m not pissed. I don’t really care. The Mormons can posthumously baptize every dearly departed member of my family from here all the way back to Sinai for all I care and it won’t matter one bit. Why? Well, if I may be blunt, it’s quite simple. I am a Jew. I don’t believe in Mormonism and I most certainly do not believe in the validity of this bullshit baptism thing. Of course upsetting Daniel Pearl’s family is a terribly insensitive thing to do, but Daniel Pearl’s posthumous Mormon baptism is about as valid as a wooden nickle.

So yeah. Fuck those bullshitting baptizing Mormons. I don’t care. Besides, Stephen Colbert converted them all to Judaism by circumcising a hot dog. Oy.

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ck

Publisher at Jewlicious
Founder of Jewlicious? Publisher? Man I hate titles. I coined the name Jewlicious and I slave over the site. I live in Jerusalem and I need to get some breakfast.
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14 Comments

  1. Akiva

    3/2/2012 at 8:16 am

  2. dan

    3/3/2012 at 2:29 am

  3. dan

    3/3/2012 at 2:37 am

  4. larry

    3/4/2012 at 8:30 am

  5. dan

    3/5/2012 at 10:59 pm

  6. Dave O

    3/6/2012 at 11:27 am

    • Carrie

      7/3/2015 at 11:44 am

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    3/9/2012 at 10:19 pm

  8. Mike Darnell

    3/14/2012 at 2:37 am

  9. Yael in the Red Sweater

    3/25/2012 at 12:58 am

  10. Raoul Duke

    4/30/2012 at 2:08 am

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