What’s harder than finding a nice Jewish boy to date? Finding a nice Drusish boy to marry.
Joining the ever-increasing ranks of internet dating sites that target specific affinity or ethnic groups is the new DruzeDate.com. (According to the article, Druse and Druze are both acceptable spellings, so take your red pens and step away from the computer, would-be editors.)
Dr. Nissim Dana [author of two novels on the Druse and a current professor at the Academic College of Judea and Samaria who was formerly the director of Druse affairs at the Religous Affairs Ministry] pointed out that, since the founding of Israel in 1948, there have been only 80 cases of Druse men marrying non-Druse women. In each case the man was cast out of the Druse community “as if he had died.” “They even erase his name from the records,” said Dana.
There are only two cases of women marrying non-Druse. Both women were killed. “One of these cases took place in Rama. The girl was killed but no official investigation was made,” said Dana. The other girl – Idtihaj Hassun, from Daliat al-Carmel – was killed by her family and members of her community after she eloped with a local Arab man, he said. “A Druse woman marrying a non-Druse is looking at certain death,” said Dana. “In both of these cases, the women were killed because in the Druse community there is no bending on this issue for women. Only men can get away with it.”
One of the Druse men interviewed in the article, named by his initials (A.K.) only, comes from a fairly traditional Druse family of six children. Four of his siblings are married – all to Druse – but A.K. is in the army, and says he will not limit himself to Druse girls. “My last serious relationship was with a Jewish girl,” he said. “In the end it was she who dumped me because I wasn’t Jewish! I was ok with it, but I think she got slack from her community.”
The article proceeds to explain that the man is responsible for bringing the money (and the house) to the relationship, women are the real keepers of the culture and the faith; add to that the fact that Druse don’t accept converts, and you begin to see why it is so important to the Druse people that Druse men marry Druse women.
I’m not at all advocating the return to more traditional “men-make-money and women-make-home” model. But the fact that the Druse are so self-contained–not accepting converts, and therefore responsible in a more structured way for the propagation of their culture and religion–does give me some food for thought.
I dont really understand this. I have been dating a Druze guy for a year. He left Israel and his family to live in the U.S., but is still in contact and good terms with all of his family. He does not agree with his religion but respects his family and there wishes. He says he does not have to live like them, but won’t break the rules either. There is no way him and I can ever be married. I dont understand how there is no way around this. How is that possible or acceptable in this day and age?
I article written above lacks academic and scientific basis to support the claims being made. I am sure statistics regardning subject being discussed show a very different story in Lebanon
je suis samer
Personally, i respect their religion. Its pretty intriguing as you cant even read their holy books. Make ya think huh?
I dunno. My brain’s just always hungry. I guess I’m wondering what would have happened to the Jewish people if we had been even more self-contained and ghettoized, if we’d be fewer in number but more similar in observance than we are now…
I assume your tongue is jammed pretty far into your cheek, TM. Sounds pretty f***ed up to me.
We would be just like the Druse (or the Karaites) if it weren’t for gerim; some weird minority sect that nobody gave a rat’s ass about. Hell, I wouldn’t even be a Jew if that’s how things worked (my father is not a MOT).
What food for thought, Esther?
So men get to leave but have to leave their lives behind.
Women get to leave but have to die.
Looks pretty certain that the Druse will be around a long while into the future.