So it’s the month of Adar, and soon it will be Purim, arguably one of the funnest holidays on the Jewish calendar, what with all the drinking and hammantaschen and all. But we don’t have to wait for Purim to have fun. There’s a saying in Hebrew, mi sheh nichnas Adar, marbim beh simchah – basically, with the start of Adar, we should have plenty of joy, or something. In light of that, I found this funny post, well, I think its funny, by one sultan knish, on Hashkafah.com. For those of you who understand the many layers of humor involved here, enjoy. For the rest of you who are like “What? Who are those people?” I would suggest finding a Rabbi somewhere to explain … *sigh*
Would Yeshivish People Date Anyone In The Torah?
There’s Avraham Avinu – he seems to be frum but really he’s a BT and his father made idols, not our kind… next
Yitzchak Avinu – well his grandfather made idols, there was all that nastiness with Lot and his half brother is an arab.
Yaakov Avinu – His great-grandfather made idols, his brother went off the derech, his mother comes from a very treyfe family and he wasn’t shomer negiah with Rachel Imeinu before they were married and he spent a lot of time with his uncle who’s mammesh a rasha.
Yosef HaTzaddik – his mother had an idol once and she died early, plus he’s a slave and his brothers don’t like him, must be something in that and with all the issues with Avraham Avinu and Yitzchak and Yaakov Avinu… better not to
Moshe Rabbeinu – Oy, what a maaseh!!! his parents separated, then they got back together, his parents abandoned him, put him in a basket, he was raised by goyim… not our kind for sure. he may be close to Hashem but his background is so problematic we wouldn’t want him in our family!
Caleb’s descendants – we don’t want to marry into that family enough said
David HaMelech – Descended from a Geyoret, not our kind of people. Sure a few generations have gone by but all things being equal shouldn’t we look for someone with a more ‘jewish’ background
Shlomo HaMelech – See above, also his mother’s marriage was very dubious, he is rich though but the yichus and family background is very tricky.
This and more at Hashkafah.com!