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A new site called AlmostmetJew.com identifies their mission as being there to “help Jews locate the passing Jew that caught their attention, but they missed the opportunity to actually meet.”

Aside from awful copywriting, the site has its charm, ie: stock photos of waspy male models with a kippah doodled on in what appears to be MS PaintShop.

Get the one that got away! is their tagline, which is a nice tautology (is this when Mufti tells me that I used the word tautology wrong?), but I see so much room for error when visual cues are the only thing identifying one as a Jew:
Hey big-nosed guy trying to parallel park today on 13th Street, wanna smooch? There’s just some strange disconnect.

Find That Female Jewess, You Almost Met one section reads, Find That Male Jew, You Almost Met reads another. There’s even a section called Jew searching for Jew, which to me sounds more like an existential struggle than a place to go looking for a date.

Best one yet:
I was shmoozing with 2 of my friends right outside Columbia Presbyterian on 168th street between Ft. Wash and Broadway on monday, the 30th of January at about 2:30, when you walked by. 2 of us noticed you, and I just kept on noticing you for a little while. Eventually you turned around to look back at us, and I was still looking at the time. We found the situation to be highly comical, and we took turns kicking each other for not pursuing.

You’re blonde, probably about 5’5″-5’6″ in the short boots you were wearing. You were wearing thick-rimmed glasses and a 3/4 length jean skirt.

The three of us were standing in a group against the wall of the building. 2 of us are about 6′ and the other is 5’10”. 2 of us were wearing black kippas, one velvet, one knit, and the other was wearing a blue knit. We were wearing coats, but I remember that I was wearing khaki pants and a brown sweater. I was also wearing thick-rimmed blue glasses.

We all thought you were cute, so it’s in our best interest to find out, especially since one of the 3 of us works at Columbia Presbyterian anyway. Also, just for pride purposes, we want to know which one of us you were looking at when you turned around. I mean, I already know who, but a little confirmation never hurts.

About the author

alli

10 Comments

  • Not a new site, but hilarious from the one time I read any of it. Pathetic, really – most of them now are probably fake, making fun of the others…

  • *Sigh* Onlyu coz he was invited, the Muffti will be pedantic and say that indeed the word ‘tautology’ is being misused, but he thinks only mildly. A tautology is a sentence or proposition that is guaranteed by logic to be true. It only applies to declaratives as far as muffti knows and ‘ get the one that got away’ is either an imperative, request or invitation, none of which are assertions and hence are neither true nor false.

    Muffti can see waht you are thinking, however: on the relevant sense of ‘got away’, it seems true that one can only get things given that they have gotten away.

  • This site, which “hit” in the Jewish media a while ago (even though no one really uses it), is like a more cerebral “Missed Connections” (Craigslist), and has some definite humor value. But there’s not much “meeting” going on that I’m aware of…

    But look, I’m for anything that gets Jews to get busy with other Jews. Oh, wait. That’s not me. That’s Pimp Daddy. I totally get us confused all the time, my bad.

  • I had this idea myself but was told it sucked, so we’ll see, if I missed the boat again…

    They should have something like this for married people, to look up their old crushes after the fact, lol, just kidding, another stupid dopey idea.
    Hey check out the Matisyahu thread on channels.nl.
    Peace,
    Jobber

  • It’s new for alli. We’ve all commented that it’s a relatively old web site. See alli is in Tel Aviv and isn’t really buried in the Internet so much, so when she sees something she finds interesting, she just posts about it – and we love her for that. We weren’t trying to imply that the world revolves around Jewlicious or anything.

  • Alli is as Alli does.

    Maybe it’s new because I’m a Solipsist. Mufti, would that be an acceptable way of using the term?

    Listen people, I do it for the fun, not the journalistic accuracy. Treat me nice.

  • Alli should be in those Nefesh b Nefesh ads for Aliyah, instead of that dopey Haredi-lite-modernish guy w/ the trimmed beard. Someone please do something about this.

    Alli in Tel Aviv? I am in Tel Aviv soon, on Sheinkin St., area would love to interview Alli for my blogs.

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