War turns every Israeli into an insatiable news junkie and professional political analyst and strategist. Especially if they happen to be older Mizrachi gentlemen in our nation’s many fine hummus establishments, who tend to begin every sentence with “I’ll tell you, I was in Yom Kippur, and…” I’m actually fairly convinced that if you selected any random older Mizrachi gentlemen from any random hummusiyya, this war would be over tomorrow in our favor, but I digress.

If you read the news as obsessively as Israelis do, you’re bound to notice some other random stories in between all the missiles and bombs falling. So this week I noticed that in Ireland, they found a medieval book of Psalms from between the years 800 and 1000 perfectly preserved in a bog. Bog, by the way, is a great word. Say it. Bog. They found the book open to a page containing Psalm 83. Now, I’m not one to put stock in signs from above or anything, and I figure if God really wanted to tell us something he could write in flaming letters in the sky and not hide it in a bog in Ireland, but Psalm 83 is an interesting psalm…

O God, keep not your silence; hold not your peace, and be not still, O God.
For your enemies are in an uproar; and those that hate you have lifted up their heads.
They hold crafty converse against your people, and take counsel against your treasured ones.
They have said: ‘Come, and let us cut them off from being a nation; that the name of Israel may be no more in remembrance.’
For they have consulted together with one consent; against you do they make a covenant;
The tents of Edom and the Ishmaelites; Moab, and the Hagrites;
Gebal, and Ammon, and Amalek; Philistia with the inhabitants of Tyre;
Assyria also is joined with them; they have been an arm to the children of Lot. Selah.

There’s some more about divine retribution and such, with some highly recommended metaphors about thistles and fire. So is the man upstairs sending us an ancient message suited to our difficult times, or was it just a serendipitous coincidence dug up in an Irish bog? Who cares? The important thing to is to remember that this shit has been going on without end for thousands of years, and in the end, there is only one common thread: us. Our enemies are in an uproar, those that hate us lift up their heads to cut us off from being a nation, as they have for thousands of years, but we’re still here. So don’t let that pansy Nasrallah get to you – in a few hundred years, nobody will remember Hizbullah, but something tells me you’ll still be able to discuss the pressing matters of the day in an Israeli hummusiyya.

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  • Dude, I am glued to CNN as never before.

    I am seriously worried about this thing. Israel cannot afford to lose obviously. Bomb and flatten those villages now.

  • Just like “in a van down by the river,” I think this has major catchphrase potential.

    Ex: “I just got home and spent an hour looking for my birthright israel t-shirt, when clearly I should have been looking in a bog in Ireland.”

    PS: Is “bog” any more esthetically pleasing as a word than “blog” is? Discuss.

  • “Bog” is “God” in Russian. Makes it so much more interesting, doesn’t it?

  • Um… I can’t help it. But every now and then, I watch the 700 Club. I think it’s the whole “is the cold sore there, and does it still hurt – OUCH!” mentality. But I do. And dammed if Pat Robertson wasn’t standing in front of a map of the middle east with a pointer last week – quoting psalm 83 like General Patten.

    Scary stuff. And yes, the cold sore still hurts.

  • The psalm 83 found in the bog is apparently what is now considered psalm 84 and is not about conflicts.

  • The Israeli led war in Lebanon is part of US plan to rule the oil producing middle east. US have military bases in Saudi Arabia, invaded Iraq, have troops in Afghanastan, ships in the persian gulf and their proxy Israel. No wonder they are so hated! They should all get into their bikes and turn around and go back 10,000km and then maybe their will be peace in the middle east.

  • amazing simplifications for the conflicts in the middle east. start with the fact that there are very dedicated people who see their holy mission to kill jews, reject jews, subject them to lower status, and never accept a jewish state under any circumstances. not that achieving their goals would enhance their quality of life.