The Engliish are strange

The headline of the Ynet article seemed benign enough – Poll: Jews want to date Portman, Ali G. The article discusses an informal poll taken in the UK whereby British Jews were asked which famous Jews they’d like to date. Toppping the list were the always lovely Natalie Portman and Jewish comedian Sacha Baron Cohen. So far so good, right?

But then it went terribly, terribly wrong.

Along with the obvious choices that made it into the top ten, were the following questionable ones:

Number 8 for women Jewish men would like to date is recording artist Peaches. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve been following Peaches since almost the begining of her carreer. The former Toronto kindergarten teacher made a big splash in the nascent electroclash music scene and moved to Europe in order to develop her carreer. Since then thanks to her edgy, sometimes ribald music, incessant touring and outrageous shows she’s developed quite an indie following. But, well… I think she might be completely whacked. I mean, what the hell does this mean? And what’s with the obsession with facial hair and hairy crotch shots? Love the music, love the shows, but as that old saying goes, I wouldn’t f… oh never mind. Oh anb by the way, Sophie Solomon, #7 is an amazing violinist.

Adding to the complete bewilderment I feel towards Jewish women, I have to say that some of the choices they made were even more disturbing. There’s crotchety old Sir Allan Sugar, host of the UK version of the Apprentice and onetime manufacturerer of what has got to be the worst computer ever made – Amstrad. But he’s rich so I guess that’s ok. But what’s with KISS frontman Gene Simmons (at no. 2 no less!) or porn star Ron Jeremy?? I mean what??? Ron Jeremy? Hasn’t anyone heard of the “No Dogs or Ron Jeremy” clause that a lot of female porn stars are insisting on before signing on to a shoot? Oy. Don’t get me started.

Talk about love being blind. So, go on… drool Britannia!

About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

11 Comments

  • (I don’t know what you were updating but that was a really long, really demanding post that will now never see the light of day. That’ll teach me to publish before saving my hard work).

  • TM: *ALWAYS* write your long posts in editing programs that have auto-save. This will save you against computer crashes. Another trick is to hit “Ctrl-A, Ctrl-C” often, to save your web-based text entries. This will save you from browser crashes.

    I feel your pain. Trust me, I’ve lost many a lengthy email from my web-based email crashing my web browser (back in the day, rarely now with Firefox + Gmail).

  • ck: What’s with that clause? Is it based on the large number of partners he has had in his career, or on his dimensions?

  • CK- http://www.fuckfather.net was one of the more disturbing sites I have come across on the internet. I haven’t heard of peaches until now(well since i read the article on ynet) but I am probably her biggest fan based on fuckerfather.net. I do need to hear her music before I join the fan club though. A kindergarten teacher huh? There are gonna be a few messed up kids coming out of Toronto soon.

  • This list just proves that Jews in the UK are on crack. But I guess it raises the age old question that celebrity worshippers in the States grapple with: Is there a difference between an artist and his or her ouevre? Or are the two the same.

    In either case, I’m voting Ron Jeremy off the island.

  • You lot can moan all you like about Ron Jeremy and Peaches and/or their respective nether regions. I meanwhile am abdicating my UK Citizenship in protest of that talentless, irrevelant uber-slut Dani Behr featuring on that tragic list. Those of you who have never heard of her, well, just be thankful.

  • Well, apparently the poll was about dating, not marriage. Peaches is all about sex appeal, in some really messed up way, so it makes sense.

  • I’m not sure what your point was??? What’s so wrong with Gene Simmons! I’m not female, and I have no romantic intentions with Mr. Simmons but I can see why women would. He’s extremely smart, talented, rich, and well spoken. He’s never had a sip of alochol, and has never snorted, smoked or injected any controled substanences… He’s also an amazing father. Oh.. okay- he wears more make up than your mom and has higher heels than your sister – but so what! I’m going to go now and play my KISS: DRESSED TO KILL album and wait for Natalie Portman to return my phone calls…

  • 😮 The marvellous Tracy Anne Oberman at no.2 *squeals*

    I’d choose Zach Braff over Ali G anyday.

    I am appalled at my fellow countrywomen. Is there really no one else?!