borat at WH_1.jpg
On the same day the Kazakhstan’s President was having tea [and selling his nation’s oil to American multinational corporations] with President Bush, Borat tried to get into the White House to cover the story. He was denied entry. Later, or was it earlier, just after Kazakh Strongman Nazarbayev dedicated a statue in front of the Kazakh embassy, Borat denounced an official Kazakh publicity campaign running in U.S. magazines as “disgusting fabrications” orchestrated by neighboring Uzbekistan.

“If there is one more item of Uzbek propaganda claiming that we do not drink fermented horse urine, give death penalty for baking bagels, or export over 300 tonnes of human pubis per year, then we will be left with no alternative but to commence bombardment of their cities with our catapults,” Borat said.

Meanwhile, the ADL, which has no other concerns, is worried that people might not realize that Borat is satire. In a statement released the ADL thinks that the “audience may not always be sophisticated enough to get the joke,” and actually reinforce anti-Semitism. More remarkable than this expected statement is their defence of Kazakhstan, “It would have been better to have used a mythological country,” they write, “rather than focus on a specific nation.

Text of Borat’s Press Statement:

“Jagshemash, my name Borat Sagdiyev. I would like to comment on recent advertisments on television and in media about my nation of Kazakhstan, saying that women are treated equally, and that all religions are tolerated — these are disgusting fabrications. These claims are part of a propoganda campaign against our country by evil nitwits Uzbekistan — who as we all know are a very nosey people, with a bone in the middle of their brain.

“There is a man name Roman Vasilenko who is claiming to be Press Secretary of Kazakhstan. Please do not listen this man, he is Uzbek imposter, and is currently being hunted by our agents. I must further say on behalf of my government, that if Uzbekistan do not desist from funding these attacks, then we will not rule out the possibility of military intervention. …

“Furthermore, all claims that our glorious leader is displeased with my film, ‘Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazahkstan’ is lie. Infacts main purpose of Premier Nazharbayev’s visit to Washingtons is to promote this moviefilm. This why together with Ministry of Information he will be hosting a screening tomorrow evening, to which he have invitate Premier George Walter Bush and other American dignitaries — Donald Rumsfeld, Bill Gates, O.J. Simpson and Mel Gibsons. This screening will be followed by cocktail party and a discussion of closer ties between our countries at Hooters, on 825 7th Street.

“Thank you, I must now return to Embassy where my government need me.


About the author

Rabbi Yonah


  • In case anyone is wondering, “Jagshemash” and “Chenquieh” are actually Polish expressions (or, more specifically, their approximate phonetic trancriptions) and mean “How are you” and “Thank you”, respectively.