(cross-posted from Kosher Eucharist)

I was browsing through the sites that link to Jewlicious today, and I stumbled upon a most curious post on Israpundit. Now, I was fuzzily aware that Israpundit was one of those right-wing, chest-thumpingly pro-Israel sites written by Jews who, of course, don’t live in Israel and seem to spend most of their time eagerly humping the legs of their Evangelical masters – but I never really paid any attention, mostly because the only thing worse than simpering, bleeding-heart leftist Jews are impotent, bloodlust-filled rightist Jews. But this post wasn’t content with the normal right-wing verbal masturbation – this is full-on right-wing verbal whips ‘n’ chains leather crazy sex.

Onto the post itself, in all of its twirly-eyed, theremin-music glory:

Can a good Muslin become a good American or Canadian?

I received this email:

I sent that question to a friend who worked in Saudi Arabia for 20 years. The following is his reply:

Theologically – no. Because his allegiance is to Allah, the moon god of Arabia.

Religiously – no. Because no other religion is accepted by his Allah except Islam (Quran, 2:256).

Scripturally – no. Because his allegiance is to the five pillars of Islam and the Quran (Koran).

Geographically – no. Because his allegiance is to Mecca, to which he turns in prayer five times a day.

Socially – no. Because his allegiance to Islam forbids him to make friends with Christians or Jews.

Politically – no. Because he must submit to the mullah (spiritual leaders), who teach annihilation of Israel and Destruction of America, the great Satan.

Domestically – no. Because he is instructed to marry four women and beat and scourge his wife when she disobeys him (Quran 4:34).

Intellectually – no. Because he cannot accept the American Constitution since it is based on Biblical principles and he believes the Bible to be corrupt.

Philosophically – no. Because Islam, Muhammad, and the Quran do not allow freedom of religion and __expression. Democracy and Islam cannot co-exist.Every Muslim government is either dictatorial or autocratic.

Spiritually – no. Because when we declare “one nation under God,” the Christian’s God is loving and kind, while Allah is NEVER referred to as heavenly father, nor is he ever called love in The Quran’s 99 excellent names.

Therefore after much study and deliberation….perhaps we should be very suspicious of ALL MUSLIMS in this country. They obviously cannot be both “good” Muslims and good Americans or Canadians.

Oh God, oh God, oh God, it’s so stupid my nose is bleeding!

Let’s play my new favorite game, Substitution, again!

Can a good Jew become a good German?

I sent that question to a friend who worked in Poland for 20 years. The following is his reply:

Theologically – no. Because his allegiance is to Yahweh, the desert god of Palestine.

Religiously – no. Because no other religion is accepted by his God (Exodus 20:2).

Scripturally – no. Because his allegiance is to the five books of Moses and the Talmud.

Geographically – no. Because his allegiance is to Jerusalem, to which he turns in prayer three times a day.

Socially – no. Because his allegiance to Judaism forbids him to make friends with Christians.

Politically – no. Because he must submit to the rabbis, who teach annihilation of the pagan nations and the eventual servitude of non-Jews to Jews in the Messianic Era.

Domestically – no. Because he is instructed to cut off his wife’s hand for slights as minor as breaking up a fight between her husband and another man by grabbing the man’s genitals (Deuteronomy 25:11).

Intellectually – no. Because he cannot accept German Law since it is based on Biblical principles and he believes the half of the Bible to be corrupt.

Philosophically – no. Because Judaism, Moses, and the Talmud do not allow freedom of religion and expression. Democracy and Judaism cannot co-exist. Every Jewish government has been either dictatorial or autocratic.

Spiritually – no. Because when we declare “one nation under God,” the Christian’s God is loving and kind, whereas the Jews’ God is the vengeful God of the Old Testament.

Therefore after much study and deliberation….perhaps we should be very suspicious of ALL JEWS in this country. They obviously cannot be both “good” Jews and good Germans.

Watch out, motherfuckers! That slope’s slippe–too late.

I mean, really, I hate to get all Godwin’s Law on you here, but we’ve heard this rhetoric before…somewhere…my knowledge of history is admittedly incomplete, but I seem to recall it ended somewhat badly.

Oh, but there’s more! I also discovered, in the midst of my Jewlicious link browsing, this asshole. You see, he’s decided to compile a list of his first actions upon being elected as Prime Minister of Israel (it’s fun to pretend!). Among his revolutionary ideas:

4. Arab Israelis and Palestinians would be allowed to continue participating in Israeli elections. However, since their numbers are on the rise while the Jewish population of Israel is receding, Palestinians would be given the equalent of “half a vote” in all elections, whether primaries of general elections for the Knesset.

I, for one, completely agree. The Negro has not been gifted by the good Lord with the same native faculties as the white man, and it is the Christian’s burden to civilize him and wean him away from his jungle habits and to show him the light of democracy, and even to let him participate to the fullest extent of his potential, which is of course 3/5 that of the white man’s. Also, a woman’s right to vote is redundant, because they only double the vote of their husband, and they could be spending that time struggling to wrap their feeble minds around the issues of the day making kugel.

I have my own promise. If this guy gets elected Prime Minister, I’m going to commit hara-kiri. On his doorstep. While he’s away, so I’ll have started to turn a little by the time he gets back. There’s nothing that can’t be made better by spite.

Okay, but for once, in all seriousness: the fact that even a few people on the right have come to deem this manner of rhetoric acceptable to freely discuss in public, instead of hiding it deep in their black little hearts in hopes nobody commits them, is a little alarming. Perhaps instead of building yet another flagellating Holocaust memorial in a city that doesn’t even have Jews (coming soon: Ulaan Bataar’s Holocaust Memorial Center!), we should honor the memory of those who perished by guarding ourselves from the kind of rhetoric that led to their deaths in the first place.

Or we could just do the hara-kiri thing. I mean, if you’re cool with it.

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