Full disclosure: I hate most things. I hate Arabs, I hate Jews, I hate Sephardim, I hate Ashkenazim, I hate blacks, I hate whites, I hate unrequested condiments, I hate Napoleon Dynamite, I hate your top, I hate it when you call me Big Poppa, and most likely, I hate you.

But I luvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv babies!

And much to my unbridled delight, Israeli blogstar, sometime Jewlicious contributor and close friend Harry just had a daughter!

Well, really, Harry’s wife Ziva had the daughter, partly because that’s how human biology works, partly (mostly?) because Ziva is pretty much the most badass chick I know – but minor details aside, I am seriously so excited. Sure, this is the first time a member of the Jewlicious writing team has spawned, and I’m sure bloggier people might find that significant – but really, I’m all about my much-anticipated baby time. The minute Ziva recovers enough to receive guests, I am going straight to Modi’in, because there are some deliciously cute baby feet with Uncle Michael’s name on them.

So without further ado, I introduce to Jewlicious Tzofia Reevi. Click on the link for the picture, since I’m not sure how Harry & Ziva feel about broadcasting the first image of their progeny all over this abomination called the J-blogosphere. I’m going to call it right now that the young Tzofia got Ziva’s looks. Lucky Tzofia!

Michael sends love! Boundless love!


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  • I’d also like to take this opportunity to announce that Tzofia will start blogging for Jewlicious on Monday – this will make Tzofia the youngest blogger in the blogosphere, J or otherwise and underscores Jewlicious’ commitment to remain hip, edgy and above all, young. Welcome to the family Tzofia – and make sure we get that post on Monday – no excuses, ok bitch??

  • Congrats to Harry and (mostly) Ziva!

    As far as the youngest blogger goes, I thought I saw some babies blogging who haven’t even been born yet! (via ultra sound).

    It must be the times we live in…

  • Seriously, CK. Did you just call a day-old baby a bitch? Even in the hip-hop sense, it just sounds wrong, dude.

    Barbara, when you say it like that, makes it sound like Michael loves babies and eggplant together.

    Mazal tov to Harry, Ziva and Dod Michael!

  • Mazal Tov.

    Everybody was a baby once, Laya. They don’t mean it, so you can’t blame them.

  • Mazal Tov.

    Laya, everybody was a baby once. They are just people, who happen to be at the beginning of The String.

    (Some Strings are longer than others, some are prettier than others, and some have knots that need to be untied.)

  • Yeah – we were all monkeys once too. But that fact doesn’t mean we should have to clean up their fecal matter either.

  • Babies are like cholent. Sometimes you don’t add enough water, and the kasha is dry. Sometimes you add too much water, and the carrots fall apart.

    Nobody likes mushy carrots.

    You just have to keep it simmering. Bubble, bubble, bubble. Even if it doesn’t smell good right away, in the end after shul it’s delicious.

    Bubble, bubble.

    What’s the difference between cooking overnight and raising 18 years? You just have to make sure you do it like your grandmother did it, with plenty of potatoes for building strong bones.

  • Wow Michael, that was a darn good imitation.

    Just a reminder to all you folks who are so concerned about Jewish continuity…there ain’t none without babies. Lots and lots of babies. Lots of baby poop as well.

  • Laya, you have leapt the fence of metaphor.

    We were not all monkeys once. A mere 25 or so years ago, you were quite literally a baby. No metaphor.

    Baby poop is not like other people’s. It is much smaller in amount and much milder in manner.

    The other end smiles, giggles when tickled, and opines later.

    It is an inalienable civil right to be a baby.

  • Yeah – we were all monkeys once too.

    In fairness to JM (though Muffti isn’t sure what she was driving at) WE were not really ever monkeys. Evolving from something doesn’t mean that you were once that thing. Muffti may well have rich ancestors. But Muffti has never been rich despite descending from them.

    However, we truly were all babies once!

  • But JM – no “other people” would ever assume I will wipe their ass for them.

    And yes, muffti, I’m know I was using the idea of having once been something with a little liberally. Still, our having once been something is no indicator of our debt to other things in that state. Or something.

  • JM, she is just winding you up. She is unable to admit that she lets her immature feelings get the best of her. But she is joking now.

  • These bothers are not the end of the world, and they are worth it, because of the color of the wheat.

    “Si je gagne, à cause de la couleur du blé”.

    Michael, put that in your cholent and bubble it.

    I don’t know who traumatised Laya but her mother has a little to answer for.

  • Why exactly is it that a grown woman cannot make a decision, even an unpopular one, not to like something without being accused of having been traumatized?

    JM, please refrain from implying anything negative about my mother. She is a wonderful woman and was an amazing parent.

  • “Babies, Feh” is not a private decision, it is a public statement of feh. Feh can be argued with. Feh is MEANT to be argued with. It is not just unpopular. If general, it would be group-fatal.

    As for your mother, it is she who took care of you when you were a baby. As you cannot remember what that was like, for either of you, she must be your source of information about that experience, especially about what it was like on the dishing-out end.

    It is entirely logical for me to wonder why she did not communicate that having a charming daughter like you was not worth the minor bothers of infant care.

    As she does not seem to have told you that, you are left to observe these bothers among your friends. Their infants do nothing for you, so your conclusion is logically pretty jaundiced. It was your mother’s job to explain the personal angle. Nobody else quite can. Maybe she did and you just have your own view.

    Or something.

    I am sure it will all work out.

    But feh is fighting words. Don’t get soft on us. If you are going to throw strong talk around, people are going to react strongly. That’s ok, right?

  • JM- you are overreacting. I don’t like babies. Not everyone has to. That’s all. And seriously – stop with the attempts to analyze my upbringing, because you are completely off base. My mother’s favorite years of her life were taking care of her babies, but that does not necessitate that the same is true for me.

  • My own mother had no special love of the baby thing, but she knew that was the only way to be related to wonderful me.

    You can’t just go to a college graduation and pick out a charming daughter for yourself.

    The operative phrase is “worth it”. Not “that wasn’t hard” but “that was worth it”.

  • Jewish Mother, I didn’t know you were a francophile, you red-blooded American, you. Hmm.

    As for kids– JM, let’s acknowledge the biggest weakness in your case: Projectile vomiting.

  • As a recent college attendee, I can attest that projectile vomiting is in no way limited to the diaper set.

  • It is not a requirement that you love babies, that is to say, other peoples. On that point I am in agreement w/ Laya.

    However, when it is your own baby, this is a different discussion.

    I believe there is a missing link here in that you need or there should be a Life partner, someone you are married to, in order to have this baby(‘s).

    When this is missing, then yes, I understand Laya’s position.

    I believe this is really the issue.

  • Pressuring people to like or to want babies seems like a bad business to me, since babies are pretty high-maintenance, high-commitment-needing little bundles. Sure I know some initially indifferent parents that raised some great folks, but if people know they don’t want to become parents, I’m glad they’ve figured that out! Every little baby will eventually need cool aunts and uncles to show them different sides of life.

    Who’s to say (if this is one of her goals) Laya can’t have a bigger impact on Future Generations by leading Birthright tours than some moms do by having children?

    Me, I’d like to do the latter, somewhere where the Middle’s theology is kinda the norm. First, though, there should be at least two of three: Life partner, at least one steady and adequate salary, living place with more than one room.

    More importantly for now, Mazal Tov to the new parents, the baby is beautiful!

  • OK, LT!

    As for projectile vomiting, I never encountered any of that, when I was on active service. I don’t think I did it myself either, when an infant.

    It is a little exotic. Most babies don’t.

    Michael’s remark puts the whole thing in perspective, however.

  • It is beyond weird, Jewish Mother, why you seem to think there’s a problem with Laya not wanting any children and not being particularly charmed by them either. Oh well. We’re all different. Such is life. I consider MY three children well worth it, but not everyone has to be me.

  • Suzanne, the children are the foundation of the family, which in turn is the foundation of the people. It is totally absurd and ridiculous for someone to claim to be so concerned with their people and nation that they move to Israel and there, they try to interest unaffiliated or otherwise to be more in the community, whilst denying that G-d gave them this job, to grow the nation more.

    I do agree w/ JM’s earlier assertion regarding how she was brought up, it seems overly femisitics to the point of denial and male hatred.

    it does not click w. any kind of Torah based Judaism which she studies and professes loyalty to.

    She has issues w;/ this but rather than confronting, dealing, and solving these problems, she reverts to infantile positions.

  • Easy there, Steves Rick. Thanks for being with me, but I never lit into Laya’s background in the sharp terms you use.

    As babies are vulnerable, it is not very different from “crippled people, feh” or “sick people, feh” or “poor people, feh”. Anybody can become crippled, sick or poor. Or not.
    But absolutely everybody was a baby, and our future depends on us not feeling “babies, feh”.

    My private opinion, is that it will be all right some day.

    Suzanne, can you give any advice?

  • They are too busy travelling now don’t you know, at donor expense, to the west coast, prolly stopover in Europe for a couple of days as well. you know the big important uh convention that they have.

    Let me summarize.

    JM is trying to establish a universal binding truism for all.

    Some people like to play devils advocate, even for just the sake of.