The next Mayor of Jerusalem

Gaydamak visits Machaneh Yehuda
Russian born billionaire Philanthropist, Businessman, Sports Mogul, Champion of Sderot, Humanitarian, Diplomat, International Fugitive and Politician Arcadi Gaydamak visited Machaneh Yehuda (Central Market of Jerusalem) and had lunch at famed eatery, Rachmo. There he discussed his future political aspirations. Gaydamak has strong ties to Jerusalem – he is the sponsor of the Hapoel Jerusalem basketball team and the full owner of the Beitar Jerusalem Soccer team. Last February he started a political party to run in the Knesset called Social Justice which will run in alliance with Likud. Gaydamak has no plans to run for Knesset himself though – he currently has his sights set on the Jerusalem Mayor’s office – when I asked him about his chances of winning, he answered “I will be the next Mayor of Jerusalem.”

Judging by his reception at the shuk, one might understand his confidence. Usually grumpy people stopped him and wished him a chatimah tovah and a happy New Year. When he entered the stall area, the merchants started spontaneously singing a ditty from a Cell Phone company commercial he has recently starred in (see video below). One guy even gave him a Pineapple! A friggin Pineapple!! You know how expensive those things are?? And those fuckers never give anything good away! Like Arcadi really needed your Pineapple… But the predominantly Sephardic crowd at the Shuk are surprisingly easy to please – like a puppy who has been regularly beaten, show them a little attention and they’ll be your little bitches forever. I mean Menachem Begin showed up at the Shuk once like a million years ago, wearing a Kippah and to this day there are still images of him adorning many a stall.

Gaydamak has relatively unlimited resources and, as an outsider, he can ride the wave of discontent that many feel towards the current political establishment, which they see as corrupt and distant. Will this be enough to make up for the fact that Gaydamak doesn’t speak Hebrew and that he is an internationally wanted fugitive who has to travel on an Angolan diplomatic passport in order to avoid arrest? Well – he’s wanted in France so like, who cares? And even with his checkered past, he is still viewed as a breath of fresh air in a stale and moribund political arena. Out of sheer boredom I actually look forward to calling him Mr. Mayor. Besides, Gaydamak I can pronounce. Lupiolanski? Try saying that 3 times fast – you’ll sprain your jaw guaranteed.

This is Gaydamak’s video for Pelephone wherein he says that he’s tired of buying stuff and has had it with capitalism. Cute.

About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

4 Comments

  • I will certainly not vote for him.

    It’s one thing to appreciate that he can afford to spread his money around for good causes.

    It’s another thing to earn my trust by giving him a powerful political position.

    History has been here too many times.

    I still have no idea who I will vote for. None of the choices hit the mark.

  • I will vote for him.By the fruit of a tree you will know its true nature.Not all people that are rich that can sacrifce there wealth for Israel.Hes has shown a concern and want to do more.Lets give him the chance.

  • This atricle speaks much of the good about him, but he still is wanted in countries for crimes. Myself I beleive that when you study about people and they appear this generous and have serious charges against the same person from multiple coounties, it just seems bad news to me

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