Some things are just plain wrong…
The Internets are verrily abuzz with news that White Castle’s annual recipe contest was won by a Missouri woman who crossed Latkes with White Castle Hamburgers.
Leslye Louis of New Melle named her creation “The Latkes You Crave,” after White Castle’s slogan “What you crave.” She made the Jewish pancakes with the usual ingredients, including grated potatoes and eggs, and also incorporated 10 chopped-up White Castle “slyders” â€” minus the pickles.
Leslye receives 30 White Castle Hamburgers a week for a year. Philana Ford of Chicago came in second place for a Chinese dim sum appetizer recipe using White Castle burgers. She will receive 60 White Castle Hamburgers a week. That’s what American Midwesterners need – more fatty food in the midst of an obesity epidemic. You’ll be talking to your grandchildren about the obesity epidemic of ’07: “Oh it was terrible! There were hamburgers and cheese cakes everywhere!”
But seriously, is there anything more disgusting than a White Castle Hamburger? Thank goodness I am both kosher and a vegetarian and the consumption of this “food” will never be an issue in my life. Also am I allowed to be just slightly offended by the combination of a beloved holiday food and this treiff dreck or would that be deemed, I don’t know, intolerant? Will this go down in history as the penultimate sign of the integration of Jews into American society? Previous diaspora communities have given us things like the Babylonian Talmud and Spinoza and this one? Norman Finkelstein and White Castle Latke Hamburgers. Can’t wait for the White Castle Dreidels.
Pardon me while I gag.