WooWoo!I’ve said it before and I will say it again, when one wants to gauge technological innovation, one need merely look at what the pornographers are doing. They were the first to adopt CDs and DVDs, they were the first to pioneer e-commerce, and now they are the leaders in utilizing social networking for fun and profit. But apparently it doesn’t stop there.

See, I have an old friend of mine, who while I disapprove of his methods of making a parnassa, I can always count on for a good laugh and some edification. Yankel (not his real name), a Yeshiva University alumnus, found himself out of a job a few years ago. Looking for a way to make a living he stumbled upon the one thing he knew well… Internet porn, he should do with the amount of porn videos he watched online on Nu Bay japanese. Now Yankel doesn’t produce the porn himself – he makes money by directing porn consumers to porn producers and then taking a cut from affiliate programs.

With the recent explosion of Social Networking sites like MySpace and Facebook, Yankel devised clever strategies involving the creation of fake, but charmingly believable profiles peppered with subtle links to various porn sites similar to teen tuber xxx. I’m not going to get into the details of how he does what he does, but suffice it to say, he generates $700 a month from just one Facebook profile without running afoul of the Facebook police.

In running his business, Yankel could not fail but notice that a large portion of his Facebook friends/customers were of Middle Eastern extraction, and that along with invitations for “hey sexy, you are want to sucking me?” he/she also gets invitations to join Facebook groups like “Lets Holocaust the Jews” and “Israel Sucks.” So Yankel started joining these groups too.

What can I say? Apparently Yankel was horrified, not just at the sheer hatred being leveled against Jews and Israel by the haters but also by the pathetic, ineffective responses being posted by young Jews who stumbled upon these groups. So what does Yankel do? He messages the pintele yidden and offers them advice on how to best craft their responses for maximum effect. His advice? “Don’t even talk about Israel until you know what you’re talking about. Talk about the pervasiveness of honor killings, talk about the lack of civil liberties, talk about how Arab states treat homosexuals, stuff like that.” He also counsels his young charges to avoid foul language and invective lest they lower themselves to the level of their foes. As for the racists and the holocaust deniers he says “make fun of their spelling and grammar, ask them about their academic accomplishments and job prospects, but never argue about the Holocaust – the Holocaust is not debatable.” He also leads by example and his scathing responses to the haters have resulted in positive feedback from Jew and non-Jew alike.

So what do we have here? A self-funding Hasbarah and anti-racism initiative, which leverages the power of social networking and where the perpetrators of the hatred also fund the response. Tell me that’s not fucking genius? Talk about young Jewish innovators! Anybody want to book this guy as a speaker?

*by the way, that photo up there? That’s not Yankel, ok? Just for the record. Just a random pixelated YU grad.

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About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

62 Comments

  • Here is an email that one of my many avatars received from a guy named Alaa Nabil:

    Alaa Nabil
    10:32pm Dec 2nd
    SO HOW DO U LIKE ASEX ??SLOWLY OR FAST OR HARD AND FAST OR SLOWLY AND DEEEP

    Alaa Nabil
    6:53pm Dec 3rd
    u not answered yet .???is therer somthing i dont know .

  • Yankel– If you are ever in Tel Aviv, be in touch–would love to have you over for Shabbat dinner. I suspect you would be a really great (read “fascinating”) guest.

    Thanks for the hasbara help.

    Gila

  • I want in on this gig…I am intimately familiar with a little site called JDate whose users need this service. Yankel, bubbeleh , email me!

  • Muffti to has had his fair share of meals etc. with Yankel and he sure he will do it again.

    But Muffti does have to take issue with the advice, at least as reported by CK:

    Talk about the pervasiveness of honor killings, talk about the lack of civil liberties, talk about how Arab states treat homosexuals…make fun of their spelling and grammar, ask them about their academic accomplishments and job prospects, but never argue about the Holocaust

    It’s suggestions like this that make Muffti want to fire all the ‘critical reasoning’ professors and textbook makers in departments like his own because they clearly haven’t gotten the message out despite years of trying. Refusing to debate a point by asking someone questions about something other than the topic is generally know in such books as ignoratio elenchi. Insulting spelling and grammar (as people often do to muffti here!) is known as ad hominem as is asking after their, umm, academic accomplishments and job prospects? You can find both on any elementary list of fallacies. Here is one such list (note that ignoratia elenchi is listed under its more popular and less intimidating name, red herring.)

    Why avoid such things? For the same reasons Yankel says you shouldn’t curse nor resort to invective: bad reasoning is simply another way of ‘lowering’ the level of debate to that of your opponents. The only difference is that we have fancy names made up for lowering the debate in the way Yankel suggests. Once you are engaged in such non-respectable intellectual activities (and Yankel does it well!) you may as well just tell them to fuck off.

  • Muffti dude. I barely scratched the surface of the uh… pearls of wisdom that Yankel came up with. Much of what he said related to Nazi-istic comments and it has always been our policy, you and I, not to debate with Nazis. Their blather is unworthy of proper debate and merits very little beyond the traditional “Fuck off little Nazi bitch. Are you pissed because you got fired from your job at McDonalds? Are you gonna shoot up a mall, loser? And by the way, it’s “Heil Hitler” not “Hi Hitler.” You’re not waving at him at a fucking parade, you’re pledging allegiance to the most reprehensible person who has ever lived. Bravo.”

    All your other high falutin’ stuff relates to stuff that merits debate.

    Oh. And fuck off.

    😉

  • Well, there is a bit of difference, at least to Muffti’s mind, about procedure here, truthfully. Muffti and you never joined Nazi groups and then sat around abusing them (except that time we joined the KKK as honourary members, but that’s a story for another time!) It’s one thing to put up a site and say ‘man are these people stupid’ – you aren’t thereby entering a debate, you are just making fun of people. MUffti debated with plenty of Nazi’s that wrote us – the ‘hi hitler’ gay porn picture guy being the one exception – when they would deign to write us as that si a dialectic, rather than just a one side mockery which is what we were engaged in.

    It’s different here, so far as Muffti can tell. Yankel is talking to people who are responding to others, which means really engagin in a debate or dialectic. They are free to do so and they can do whatever they like, but the whole point of the notion of ‘lowering the debate’ is that you are invovled in a discussion of htat sort. If you don’t want to debate Nazi’s,d on’t join their facebook groups and ignore them. if yo do want to debate nazis, go for it. But sitting around asking about their lack of achievments is at best cheap shooting and debate lowering in themselves and brings discredit to you.

    So suck it, ck, what’s your latest academic achievement?

    🙂

  • Muffti: My latest academic achievement? Ask you sister…

    No. Kidding!! My latest academic achievement involves editing the pathetic spelling and grammar of this fat head academic dude I know.

    No! No! Kidding! That’s not an academic achievement. Any 12 year old can edit that stuff.

    No! No! I was seriously kidding!! the point I was trying to make is that Yankel deals with different people in different ways. I wasn’t presenting an exhaustive list of his talking points and techniques. He informs me that he often engages people in reasoned debate, but each engagement depends on the party being engaged. Any guy who writes “fuck you bitch you are jew bitch i aM fuck you and kill you jew bitch WEN i come ur cuntry.” That sort of statement merits a different response than what one would say in reaction to this statement: “It is clear given independently obtained evidence that there were never gas chambers in Auschwitz and that the whole Holocaust story was fabricated by the Allies and the Jews in order to siphon off the wealth of Germany.” Similarly “The creation of the State of Israel in 1948 and it’s subsequent expansion in 1967 were done as part of a systematic Zionist policy of expansion whose main purpose was and continues to be to commit genocide against the Palestinian people” merits one kind of response while “fuck you zionist whore i am fuck you and kill you Zionist bitch when I cum and free Palestine” merits another.

    Last word on academics: I have post high school academic credentials! What kind of loser enters this sort of forum without at least a BA from some little bo peep college? At least that!

    Oh and muffti? You are an ass face.

  • heh. So you’re telling me that Yankel actually encourages people to answer things like ‘fuck you bitch i am fuck you’? Muffti grants that that is not up for debate since it doesn’t make any sense – but why are nice jewish boys joining facebook groups just so they can read this and write them back about their academic credentials?

    Fartknocker.

  • Are you saying I can make $700 a month by referring people to porn sites without having to get naked or talk dirty to anyone, because that would probably be a better use of my time than commenting here. Please post the link that teaches one how to do this..

    $700 extra a month could probably buy me a good hour with someone who looks more like Beery than Sieradski

  • It hurt deeply, Sarah. With the image, if Muffti is worth about $465/hour, I might be worth about $46.50/hour – and it’s not like I’d bore the woman with talk about dead philosophers.

  • Hey, dead philosophers are fun, and since I’ve learnt Anciet Greek just as well as Latin, French, and English and do speak German, I find most philosophers rather entertaining in their native tongues 🙂 And didn’t you notice the friendly smirk? MS Paint just wouldn’t give me a better complexion colour than peach…

  • some of the less respectable, eg “fuck you zionist whore i am fuck you and kill you Zionist bitch when I cum and free Palestine” could very well merit a response of sorts, even such a response might not be on a level muffti regards as honorable. This is because discourse serves multiple ends. The author of “fuck you zionist whore i am fuck you and kill you Zionist bitch when I cum and free Palestine” might not be all that dissuaded by either silence or a rejoinder regarding its lack of anything cognitive worth engaging – let alone logical – but pointing out other shortcomings in either the uttering or the author just might. I don’t think individual instances of ignoring such things ensures that they will disappear and the attitudes and potential actions associated with them will die out. But “dissing” a thug or his statements on terms that said thug regards as disrespect might not hurt.

    As for the ad hominem, sometimes the Nietzschean exception makes a worthwhile consideration. His take on it was, roughly, “what /sort/ of a person would think something like this?” No harm done to the more honorable aims hoped for by otherwise rational discourse in so speculating, IMO.

  • Oh, and I still couldn’t determine whether the amount of Mufftiness Muffti’s willing to share justifies a price of $700/90 minutes. But, my dear TM, you are priceless.

  • There is no replacement for men, and their delicious, throbbing manhoods, and how good it feels to be underneath them, and to be kissed while they’re holding your face like it’s the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen, and how cozy it is to bury your face in the indentation of their nice furry chests.

    Amazon can’t come up with anything as good as that.

  • Actually, pending approval, you will soon be able to buy products at my affiliate site and if you register and buy, I get a commission.

    It will be http//www.JewcyToys.adameve.com.

    They have great customer service and a great return policy.

    Once the Ladies at the Yeshiva Ketana Ladies Axulliary learn of my site, they won’t have to worry about their husbands molesting patients, clients, students or coworkers…they can just park him in front of “the monitor” (no tvs allowed in the house) for two weeks and then he’ll be all ready on mikvah night.

    Thanks for the idea and remember: 10% of the proceeds go to tzedaka.

  • Whoa Giyoret! Good to see you put some thought into this issue. In any case, for 700$, Muffti is pretty sure he is creative enough to beat the machine.

  • Well, I guess it was more the issue that came up than the issue that started this. It’s interesting that when people talk about se x, the language is all about mechanics and efficiency; rather than figuring out what they might like, it’s like people want reenactments of something they’ve seen, down to the grooming details and acoutrements, and I wonder if anyone is happy just to go with the flow and say “You know what? It’s all good.” and just enjoy whatever happens. It’s not hard to be creative, anyway.

    People today seem erotically stunted or something, and I think that porn has a lot to do with it.

    Would love to discuss, but I gotta run. Excuse me while I go count my pennies. I think I am up to $699.99. If only I could figure out a good way to spend them….hmm…

  • Giyoret: think I am up to $699.99. If only I could figure out a good way to spend them….hmm…

    Muffti: Muffti don’t compromise over pennies.

    ——————————–

    … I’m sure Jewish Mother will kvell when she finally reads this thread….

  • Thank you Sarah, but it will not be neccessary. $699.99 is what Giyoret has to offer; if that is insufficient, she will simply take her business where it is appreciated and considered a pleasant and equally beneficial exchange.

  • ok…this discussion is officially not funny anymore.

    The fact that now that I am 43 means that I will probably never be in love or have a lover again .

    Single men my age think I am too old for them because they first want to have kids, divorced men my age think I am too for old them because they want a fresh trophy.

    I got a note from a guy on Jdate yesterday, 56 years old asking if he was too old for me. I said no and gave him my #. We had a lovely conversation and then he informed me he is undergoing a double hip replacement. I wished him well and hung up. Dude…my partner needs to have good hips because,ok, Giyoret was graphic enough before, let’s just say I need a partner who can go biking and hiking.

    According to all media sources, I am officially an old cougar who will have to pay for sex for the rest of my dried- out existance. The sad fact is that not only can I not afford $700 to pay for sex with a younger man, I wouldn’t even want to.

    Now everyone go to my site an order your partner or yourself aChauka Toy because every penny helps Save a Cougar. And I will probable post another affiliate site called SaveACougar.adameve.com if I start to make any money from this.

  • Chutzpah, you’re in the wrong city then, if that’s what you’re looking for. I’m only a few years younger and I actually went off of Jdate because mostly what I was getting was more or less guys wanting sex, and the majority of them were young guys. Some shockingly young, like 21, 23. Not my thing—I have no desire to be a curiosity. My profile wasn’t provocative at all. It’s just this stupid trend, but if you’re into it—it’s there. No reason to be hopeless at all, you just have to be willing to travel to Philly. 🙂

    And I disagree about divorced guys. I think they’re pretty open to relationships, not just with trophies. The problem is they might be a little weatherbeaten. But at least they have some decent relationship skills, having been married before.

  • Well, the word “curiosity” applied to a woman can certainly have a neutral connotation, or even a positive one when it’s coupled with ideas like “exotic”, but when it comes to age I think it can go either way. If a 23 year old guy thinks an older woman is experienced and therefore desirable, I suspect that what he is really hoping to find is the drive, skills and experience of a 40 yr. old in the body of a 20 yr. old. There’s an abstract idea—the “curiosity”– which I think is idealized—and the reality, which is imperfect, at least as compared to a woman 20 years younger. I don’t have a lot of faith that the average young guy is very forgiving , or aware of all of this, or that his desire is based on experience and appreciation. I don’t need to be the Mrs. Robinson who enlightens him.

    And anyway, guys in their 20’s have a very inflated sense of the value of their bodies. Many of them truly believe they’re giving us some rare treat. You know what? Naked, a 40 yr. guy in decent shape is good as a 25 yr. old. And he’s probably got a lot more to offer. Chutzpah might disagree, but a young guy who can perform over and over is not such a big deal if each of those times it doesn’t last long enough, or if he’s inept.

  • Actually, I would like an emotionally, physically and spiritually satisifying relationship with an age appropriate man who was my intellectual equal.
    As Muffti so astutely pointed out, the odds of finding a 40+ man who is single, straight & in shape are very small, because if he’s got those 3 attributes he is dating 30 year olds.

  • I am sure it was a grizzly old geezer who came up with that saying, Sarah 🙂
    (“Hop on, mein little liebenkuchen!”)

    I think you’re being a little negative, Chutzpah. I don’t think the situation is that dire, and you’re not even that old!

  • Giyoret is the best! But mostly for going 17 posts back that I couldn’t respond to at the time.

  • Thanks Giyoret…yeah I’m in that “I haven’t had a decent date in a really long time” mood.

  • Who is M_U_L ? Because if that’s a code name for Dov Charney, I have officially moved my crushes onto Tyrese & R.Kelly.

    “A man is sexy when your cuming into his into money” no longer applies only to Jews.

  • R. Kelly? Seriously?! As a woman on the edge of an age-related, dating-induced meltdown, you should probably know that he sems to like to piss exclusively on underage girls.

  • Actually, I honestly did not know that, I just like his music. But hey, I also didn’t know there was bad blood between Beery and Mobius.

    I don’t even know what M_U_L stands for.

    Oh, and I am not the edge of an age- related dating induced meltdown, I am the middle of a major NON-dating crisis.

    Does anyone else have a hot Dad?

  • “Is you tweakin?!” Muffti, I did not only hear ‘real talk,’ I saw that little gem on youtube. It has far greater impact when you can see R. Kelly’s half-braided hair swing with every exclamation. Actually, I think chutzpah should check it out! See what it’s like to be in a relationship with a guy with real communication skillz.

  • Ok Ofri… thanks for knockin’ the wind out of my latest fantasy. I was dreaming more of a “Step in the Name of Love” and “I Believe I Can Fly” type of man than “Real Talk” guy
    If you have any suggestions I’m open to hearing them..

  • Chutpah, M_U_L was montana urban legend! Didn’t feel like writing it out. It wasn’t a spicy acronym or anything…
    If I come across any hot dads I’ll let you know.

  • Muffti, boo, what it matter if there were other guys there? What they eat don’t make us shit! Real talk.

    Sorry, chutzpah, he hasn’t been the “I Believe I Can Fly” type of man in 11 years. I still remember going to see that looney Michael Jordan vehicle as a wee girl, though. Good times. I’d venture to say “Kellz” probably wasn’t even that type of man all those 11 years ago. But still, R. Kelly is a classy guy! He leaves the Gucci sticker on his sunglasses! He wears bedazzled sweatshirts! He brought opera to the people!! (See also “Trapped in the Closet,” parts 1-22)

    He is a comic genius fer real. Whether it’s intentional or not almost doesn’t matter.

  • A bit late but damn you filthy yids, the only nation in the world who has to pay yid nerds to mount youtube campaigns to gloss over the fact that you have murdered so many children.

    On another note why on earth would you be so outraged at coming across hate sites when you folk have been at it for decades. It’s one rule for the big nosed race eh?

  • Adam 1985: I don’t have a big nose. Also My Ethiopian Jewish friends and my Swedish Jewish friends and my Tunisian Jewish friends would be amazed to know that despite our dramatic physical differences, we are all from the same race. remarkable! Thanks for the info. Dumbass.

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