Project Greenright Founder Michael SteinhardtOK. The engagement movement has just hit one out of the park.

Michael Steinhardt, a breadwinnerist, philanthropist, aspiring zoologist, and out of the box thinker-ist has just unveiled a new plan to his Jewish posse while out on business in California: a network of kosher Cannabis clubs to be developed, managed, and operated by Jewish young adults, ages 18-26. The new venture, called ‘ Project Greenright’ (don’t get too creative here Mikey) has plans to open its first club in Los Angeles on April 20th 2008, near the Pico/Robertson district, and after a 3 day evaluation period, has plans to expand all over the West Coast, East Coast, and eventually Israel. Since it’s legalization in a few states in the US both medically and recreationally, the cultivation of marijuana has quickly followed with some marijuana-based companies such as – ilovegrowingmarijuana.com – providing seeds for homegrown plants. So an idea for a club in LA could be welcomed. Marijuana is known for its qualities that relieve some of the effects that come with certain health conditions which is why medical marijuana has become such a popular way of dealing with them. People with eligible conditions can apply for things like illinois medical marijuana cards in order to access the drugs for medical purposes.

Speaking through his interpreter, Steinhardt remarked while smoking a spliff and holding a baby ferret:

If Jewish kids want to get high, no problem. But how to make it Jewish? That is the question. Greenright is a special type of gift, a gift of that first or multiple psychedelic trip for Jewish young adults. Like this herb right here. This might even include the california seed to sale that many take advantage of to cultivate their own cannabis. It’s probably made by Hizbollah, financed by the Iranians, and backed by the Syrians. It’s time for some Holy Herb. Hey dude, do you want to come with us? We’re going out for burritos like right now.”

The project was intended to be funded entirely by Steinhardt, but since word spread, various organizations, including Hazon and Bikkurim, have lined up to join forces and partner up. Hillel has apparently decided to table the issue on whether or not to join till late 2010, due to the strictness of their ‘master plan on engagement’. The Forest Foundation, a nonprofit based in Santa Barbara that in fact has nothing to do with trees, leaves, or the environment, plans to offer its Moishe House network as testing facilities for cannabis. The Orthodox Union has already agreed to serve as mashgiach for the clubs, saying that all products will be 100% kosher, except for the space cookies, which will be individually double-wrapped.

Steinhardt staff explained as follows:

We want Jews involved in the whole process. Growing, cultivating, farming, testing, and of course smoking the herb before it hits the clubs,” said Eli Valley, Foundation writer who is busily working on his first draft of a children’s illustrated book, Motti and his Marijuana Plant. “Think of it like a kibbutz. Only a kibbutz that grows a lot, a lot, a lot of weed. And only premium. Nothing commercial. That was our major selling point for Ariel Beery. We’re asking him to be Director of the Kibbutz, since he’s got so much experience from Hashomer HaTzair.

Response has been immediate:

PresenTense is seeking to serve as primary consultants for Greenright, who according to Ariel Beery, director of PresenTense, PICZ, and OAST (Organizations with Awkward Sounding Titles) wants to teach them “how to leverage Web 2.0 implementation and encourage innovation amongst target demographics of alienated Jewish youth who remain unaffiliated because they are poor, soulless, haven’t accepted PresenTense as the the key to Jewish survival , and don’t have the first issue framed on their bedroom ceiling. And pass that pipe already. I’ve been sittin’ here for hours, yo.” Beery then added”Hey man, you got $5? I got some serious munch er I mean… I need it to start a PresenTense chapter to help leverage our unique derivatives in Jewish communal technological innovation and post-denominational affiliationess.”

Lyn Schusterman, not wishing to be left out of this new movement is preparing to announce the creation of a new initiative: ROI420. “It’s kind of like ROI120 but instead of offering seminars and networking geared towards Jewish innovation and text analysis, participants will smoke Marijuana till they get so high they see God,” said Yoni Gordis of the Center for Leadership Initiatives, charged with implementing ROI420. The ROI420 Summit will be followed by Leading Up High, a Tikkun Olam project led by CLI which will send diasporah Jewish youth to Sderot with the dual purpose of reinvigorating the battered town’s economy via hydroponic Marijuana cultivation, and helping the residents to, you know, chill out mon! Participants who demonstrate exceptional leadership skills and potential will receive a Doobie Award.

So keep a look out, and keep your nose up. Greenlight is currently seeking young adults with farming experience of any kind (even watering your mom’s vegetables) to apply for an internship and help take part in renovation. And for all those interested in applying for a card, please click here.

About the author

aaron

28 Comments

  • damn, the blogs have been all a tizzy with April Fools jokes today – it can be rough out there for us who come from gullible Midwestern stock!

  • I accept! We’ll create an open-source SplifSociety, and develop a PresenToke Circle to further discussion on innovation within the hydroponic space. Aaron, we’ll be looking for a BogartBuster — will you be our man?

  • That’s good. that’s damn good Beery. Sign me up. Anything to help the Jews stay open sourced.

    But this is no joke. Greenlight is going live. ck is building the website.

  • Why you guys have to hate on the herbal remedy is beyond me. Everyone knows Jews have the best chronic. I’m just damned tired of paying the “old Jew” prices. I understand my lawyer and dermatologist can afford $700 a pop, not me, not yet.

  • not fair, not fair. $700 dollars? where are based? Somewhere in Alaska?

    65-70 tops for the good stuff. You need a new source.

    Write me.

  • No, $700 an Oz for Purples (. I’m in Michigan, when I was in San Diego, it was only $350. In Alaska, it was similarly priced. We need more Michigan dealers to less business-like and more pot-head like.

  • I burst out laughing and my kids came running asking what was so funny. I just cannot explain ROI420. It made me cry.

  • BTW this could have served the Jewish people better on Purim. I didn’t read anything this funny on Purim. 🙁

  • There it is: 420 makes Rabbi Yo cry. Will tokin’ Gentiles be permitted, so there’s someone to “illuminate things” during Shapot?

    I do feel like the name Project Greenright is confusing; sounds like it could be an environmental initiative. You might want to suggest to the dealers organizers that they consider alternates, like: Bongright, Bluntright, etc…

  • DOH!! And I didn’t get it until the baby ferret reference!

    Are ferret’s still the pet of choice for young hipsters? That’s been going on since Nick Cave was in The Birthday Party.

  • April Fools is a dumb goyish ripoff of Purim. There’s no reason to persist in celebrating it when we have our own, and better, day of ‘upside down’. I wish the whole Jewlicious community that next year, Purim be a fun enough holiday that you won’t need any artificial ‘April Fools’.

  • Geez Josh. Don’t be so particularist! Purim time saw me busy celebrating, you know, Purim – when you’re reading Megillah, delivering alms to the poor and getting drunk, who the heck wants to be in front of a computer? And last I checked, it’s still Adar – you kn ow, that whole marbim leh simchah thing doesn’t end at Purim.

  • Nice job bringing in the passuk for the smackdown ck.

    I’m definitely still partying and celebrating. I’m in the first trip of project Greenright.

  • Sugar Gliders are so hip in my town that they’re considering banning them.

    When are Spider Monkeys coming back?

  • partying hard until Nissan (including Nissan – our geulah month), does not need to include emulating the goyim. Besides, only purim is for foolish jokes.

  • um, josh, i wasn’t trying to emulate anybody. (but it was to emulate someone, it would definitely be a goy. they’re usually on top of their game. thank hashem we have all the good comedians)

    only purim is for foolish jokes? wow. your life sounds incredible. please remember to not invite you to the laugh factory (where there will be tons of israelite comedians) this weekend. or for that matter, EVER. you might end up laughing hysterically on a god forbid thursday. i could never deal with that much responsibility.

    stay green bitches!

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