Part 1

Outside in the ballagan there were protests and anti protests and anti anti protests. It was all very confusing.

Israeli flags and Palestinian flags faced off on opposite side of the street, and on the side of the Radio City Music Hall, grungy looking people chanted, “a shanda, a shame, no occupation in our name.” Seriously though, I don’t even use the word shanda. And the people didn’t even look Jewish. Appropriation of yiddish, eh?

Anyway, lots of people were passing out fliers, but nobody–except Shoshana the matchmaker who passed out mints–actually gave me anything useful. So really it’s all a waste of time. No free stuff? I’m out.

So, below, a sampling of fliers:

“Shlomo: The New Musical–the true story of the ‘rock star rabbi’ who escaped Hitler’s Germany to reinvent Jewish music, bridge worlds, and ignite the spirit of a generation one by one… LIMITED ENGAGEMENT.” Limited engagement. ‘Nuff said.

“No time to celebrate! Jews remember the nakba: standing in solidarity with 60+ years of Palestinian resistance to Zionism. This May, while Israel marks 60 years of statehood, Palestinians around the world mourn 60 years since the Nakba-Arabic for ‘catastrophe.'” Do they celebrate bombings at schools?

“Jewish Matchmaking. Non-observant, reform, conservative, conservadox & modern orthodox. Someone special is waiting for you! Let Shoshana help you meet that special someone with her ‘real’ matchmaking skills. ‘Our only real competition is Mom!” Thank goodness she has REAL matchmaking skills. Most matchmakers I’ve been to only have fake skillz. For those of you who need her services, www.shoshannasmatches.com. Oh and “mention this RSVP card and receive $200 off our membership fee.” Question: do you still get the same heavenly credit for shidduchim, if you charge?

“WANTED: JEWS WITH GUTS!
To train in legal self-defense & gun training
To help guard synagogues and Jewish areas from Moslem terrorists
To defend Jews…BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY!
Call the militant Jewish Defense Organization today!!
Find out about our legal free karate and legal gun training.
Do you want us to help you get a gun permit? Call J.D.O. Today!”
Great. Thank goodness their free karate training is legal. I would feel a bit awkward about taking them up on their offer if it were illegal.

And finally, because I work for them because what good is a Jewish Defense Organization if we don’t have any synagogues or Jewish areas because everything’s destroyed because of global warming:
“May is bike month at Hazon!
May 11th, 18th, 25–Training rides in NYC
May 15–Happy Hour at Local 138
May 16–National Bike to Work Day
May 19–sports nutrition workshop
May 21–Info session
May 27–รƒโ€กoncert for Israel’s Environment

“The New York Jewish Environmental Bike Ride
August 21-September 1
Great people
Fully supported ride
Perfect for families and solo riders
Inclusive community
REGISTER NOW
$50 off this month with discount code ‘bikemonth'”

Okay I think that May 16 should be INTERNATIONAL bike to work day. In fact, I think EVERY day should be Bike to Work Day. (And send ck some $ so he can replace his bike that was stolen…so he can bike to work–I mean, to the coffeeshop where he plays every day.)

About the author

6tonsloth

32 Comments

  • Grungy maybe I can accept, but I promise you we’re Jews (hence “No occupation in OUR name.”

    Jews with better Yiddish than you, apparently.
    Or have you never heard the Orthodox shouting “Shonda!” at obviously queer couples, people driving on Shabbos, or anyone exposing their ankles?

  • Seriously. I didn’t spend two semesters studying di mame loshn for nothing. And when I’m not using it at protests, I use it to make old ladies at Jewish nursing homes blush:

    “Volt ikh gehat goldene reder, volt ikh tsu dir geforn; Volt ikh gehat goldene fliglekh, volt ikh tsu dir geflign.”

    F’shizzle.

  • Well, you and your little buddies, Yiddish or otherwise, represent such a tiny insignificant minority of the Jewish people that really? It doesn’t matter. And of course you’re Jewish. I think 6tonsloth was being figurative. No one takes umbrage with the desire for peaceful coexistence with the Palestinians. At Jerusalem’s Yom Ha’Atzmaut celebrations, the desire for peace was one of the main themes of the night. What we do take umbrage with is the fact that you and your ilk provide succor to our enemies – those who have no desire to live in peace with the Jews but rather will not rest until we are all out of the middle east and see even babies, mothers and geriatrics as combatants, and thus suitable targets for their death cult. Now none of us begrudge you the right to protest and excercise your freedom of speech rights. But please do not deny us the right to express nothing but the contempt that your one-sided, hateful, pissant view deserves.

    Chag Sameach fucktard! I mean VivaPalestina!

  • Wait. Are you sure they were yelling SHONDA? I think they were yelling ShoShanna, to get the attention of the matchmaker.

    I did hear someone yelling Nakba. But I thought they said Babka, and I had already eaten, so I did not walk by their area. But your review makes more sense…

  • VivaPalestina, the best thing you can do for your beloved Palestinians is to kill yourself. And while you are at it, kill every other Jew/Zionist in your group because as you know so well, “From the River to the Sea, Palestine will be Free! (of Jews)”. So go ahead, don’t wait any longer. Peace can not wait!

  • Farvos vilsti zein a faigele? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    People should use more Yiddish; nothing sounds quite as bad when said in Yiddish. But it should either be “Schande” (German) or “shand” (pronounced like /shont/) strictly speaking.

    Great post, 6tonsloth.

  • I think Shonda is the name of that chick who writes and produces “Grey’s Anatomy”.

  • It’s charity fundraising dynamo Shonda Schilling, wife of Red Sox RHP and future Hall of Famer Curt Schilling.

  • Yes, you are thinking of Shonda Rhimes. No relation to Busta Rhymes. UNless you aer thinking of LaShonda, the woman who works at my locals Shase branch as a teller.

  • P.S. What are Jews celebrating today? Stealing land? The fact that Europe didn’t want ’em so they gave ’em to the Middle East?

    Today is a sad day for mankind. There is nothing to celebrate. Sorry.

  • Bobby, there is lots to celebrate.

    You, on the other hand, need to get back to class quickly although I have a feeling that’s not going to help you pass that history test.

  • Hey, Bobby:

    You can’t steal what belongs to you to begin with!

    Happy Israel’s 60th anniversary, asswipe!

  • It was quite the zoo, wasn’t it?

    I happened to walk through that mess on my way home from work and was rather bowled over by the variety of viewpoints represented.

    The most disappointing part, however, was that so many of the viewpoints seemed based on ignorance and extremism and completely unconstructive rhetoric.

    It all made me sad about the state of the world. It seemed like the demonstrators on all sides were more interested in pissing other people off than in actually convincing anyone to pursue real justice or a peaceful resolution to the conflict.

  • So, does that mean most of Europe and Asia belongs to Persia? Or the Greek Empire? How far are we going back here? Your argument is ridiculous.

  • Bobby, get a map and a history book and read up on the downfalls of the Greek and Persian empires (which were closely connected; add the invasion of the Turks from today’s Kazakhstan, and you’re set).

  • Bobby hate to bring this to your attention, i think the last time “Palestine” wasn’t occupied was when the Jews had sovereignty over it 3000 years ago, or whatever Jews be timing it at these days. I figure that was 3000 years for the Pals to claim independence, its not a European or an American imperialist thing. If Arabs didn’t give them sovereignty over the land when they occupied it. If Jordan and Egypt didn’t give Gaza and the WB back when they em>occupied it, why should a thriving nation whose bred more success over the last 60 years than the Arab world has combined over the last 60 years? not to mention the three wars we had with our ‘neighbors’ and the twice capturing of the Sinai, and giving back for peace?

    Join Hezbollah in Lebanon after they take over that country, and bring the anti-Zionist douchebags denouncing Israel as Israeli taxpayers pay fund their all day Torah study, only in the only liberal democracy in the Middle-East, bobby

  • Since when did Persia conquer Europe? They got a few feet past the Hellespont for a few years until the Greeks sent them packing, but that was it.

    Read a freakin’ history book, tool.

  • Another vote for actually Jewish and, um, un-grungy. notimetocelebrate.org for anyone who actually wants to see what all the fuss is about.

  • Wow. They have a total of 463 signatures, primarily from Jews dumber than I ever thought possible, and a few from some of their anti-Semitic buddies, and now the holiday is over, and 60 years at that. Maybe by next year you can have topped 500 but on an “off” year. Good luck. I’ll see more people than that in a night club this weekend. Power to the people!

  • My familiy attended the concert and around 8 pm
    the Hamas along with some radical group of Jews
    that came charging at us from across the street
    tried assaulting those of us waiting witht tickets
    in line. They were screaming actual threats supporing bombings Jews and zionists. my family watched as the
    JDO group came out anfd fought hard with the
    Hamas crowd that was actually hitting Jews. We thanked the JDO group for helping protect innocent Jews
    from getting hurt, I just went to the Jewish Defense Organization website and they have pictures of those Jews for destroying jews carrying pro-terror signs. The JDO contingent was fairly sized and they seemed to have been trained before.It is called the Jewish Defense Organization. After the fighting Radio City locked the entire front enterance. In fact we had to be ushered
    to get in with tickets through another entrance.

    The JDO website is http://WWW.JEWISHDEFENSE.ORG

  • “Always good to come upon a Joe Henderson reference, Alex.”

    Plus one Tom (and so sorry about the near-sweep chuckle chuckle) but I’m sure you have a few to top me on so I’ll maintain my usually humble tone ๐Ÿ™‚

    Just wanted to put this out to the folks who come across the site:

    Many of you know I’m from the Midwest (U.S. just north of TM’s “Reign Of Terror”) and in regards to the Y’sroael 60th celebrations, I’ve been told from a very good yet not Buzz Bissinger-approved source) my podunk town’s 60th party had the FOURTH highest attendance celebration attendance in the U.S. – just after NYC, LA and (I’m guessing not) Irvine, CA.

    Would like any feedback, rebuttals, attacks, reprisals, retributions or further comments from the Natura Kartei at your (all) convenience.

  • Break up the Twinks, ramon– we’re tired of your unfair competitive advantage…..

  • Our Walk for Israel was banging! Of course, the average age of attendees was in the 50s. They must of been having a sale at Juicy or something at the same time.

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