The Future of Jewlicious?

The Future of Jewlicious?

I shouldn’t have mentioned to CK that I’m turning 30 next year. I wouldn’t say he’s been guilt-tripping me, but the following statement by him (he gave me the permission to quote him) is rather telling:

i’m counting on your kids to take over jewlicious

The most creative commenter that draws the link between CK’s statement and the above question will either get a postcard from or a cup of coffee at my expense during my upcoming trip to NYC, depending on the location. (No decaf drinkers, please; I might be too jetlagged to handle decaf people.)

[Update:] I asked CK for an image to go with this post. He deserves some extra love for that one.

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  • Well, this is an easy one. You obviously need to have your marriage to Tom Morrissey, our resident Catholic, annulled by the Pope in order to marry David Kelsey and bear his children who can then take over Jewlicious as their online Chabad franchise.

  • Or wait, you need to have your boyfriend’s marriage to his ex annulled by the Pope just as he informs you that he’s discovered that he’s actually gay and plans to move out of state, to Boston of course, where he plans to marry Tom Morrisey and the two of them are going to ask you to be a surrogate mother to their love child. They plan to mix their sperm so that post-insemination it will be impossible to know who the real father is.

  • Or better yet, you haven’t told anyone that you’re pregnant by your Catholic boyfriend who adheres to the Pope’s anti-abortion fundamentalism and you plan either to convince your boyfriend to: a. marry you and have the child together, b. convert to Judaism and permit you to have an abortion, c. break up with you, stick to his Catholic views while you choose to a1. have the child, or a2. abort the child in which case you will b1. change your field of study to Religion and write angry treatises about the Catholic Church or b2. discover that you really loved David Kelsey all along and he’s open to raising another man’s child as long as you keep him away from Kiruvniks, or, b3. you recognize that the child could be better raised without a father and f**k men anyway because they suck.

  • In Massachusetts, Middle, truly anything is possible. And every sperm is sacred. But I figure Kelsey is froylein’s best bet. Unlike me, he’s occasionally lucid, has a healthier attitude toward self-appointed religious authority, and most of all lives in NYC. (Alas, froylein doesn’t do north or west of the isle of the Manhattoes.)

  • What do Jewlicious and the Vatican Have in Common? They both molest cute little kids. Ok, you guys only molested a picture. Froylein, your kids and jewlicious both exist in the same sphere of virtual reality. Does that get me a cup of coffee?

  • I thought the froylein childrens would be hatched from prods kept safe in Tom Cruise’s Scientology
    compound.So Say it,by decree of The Elders Of Dianetics.

  • Cruise is way too short for my taste. And too much into weird beliefs. And too boyish. And too skinny. Besides, CK would not approve of me hooking up with a NMOT.

  • Well i guess Andy Dick is out of the question huh.But Vin Diesel said if it is ok with CK have your people call his people to set something up.And Tyson Beckford offered some Rick Dark Choclolate whatever that means

  • What do Jewlicious and the Vatican have in common?

    Only the letter IC at the center. That joke works in Latin 🙂

  • Dont worry about turning 30 next year.No matter what anyones tells you froylein,you dont look a day older than 27.Plus your a woman lie about your age for another five years.You are only 25 remember.

  • J.Miller, very charming, but just to make sure, I’m not the person in the profile picture. I look something like this:


  • You cant fool me this is not the real you admit.This is what you look like the next mourning without make up and a night of José Cuervo and having CK thinking he was funny and slipping you some bad celery.Also you look a hell of alot better than some of the things i’ve woke up next after a night of Cuervo.