It’s been brought to my attention that Madonna / Esther might finally have realized Jesus might have been better for adoption than for, ahemmm, aerobics and possibly has moved on to a MOT, businessman Moses Abraham Schimmel.

At 44, he’s twice as old as Brazilian toyboy JESUS LUZ and doubly keen to step things up with the Queen of Pop.

But that’s not going down too well with the young one. A source close to Madonna said: “It’s bizarre, you couldn’t find two men more different. Jesus isn’t happy about her relationship with Marc, but she enjoys his company.”

Apparently they have lots in common like Kabbalah and exercise. They are both divorced with kids and there’s a deep spiritual connection that neither of them have ever experienced.”

The friend went on: “Everyone thinks they would be great together. Marc’s ready to take things to the next level. He knows Madonna needs time, but he doesn’t think Jesus is right for her.” [Full article]

The comments suggest that matters might not be as they seem between Madonna and Moses (stagename suggestion: the M&Ms of the Kabbalah Centre), and according to the source who has brought this bit of gossip to my attention (as well as the commenters that claim to know Moses), Schimmel hasn’t given his wife a get yet. Maybe she should just get herself a red bendl and and drown her sorrows in Kabbalah water.

Note to Madonna, it might help your adoption plans a lot if you patched up your private life. Maybe Mrs Schimmel could teach you a lesson or two on what it takes to be a mame.

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