Sorry. I couldn’t resist.
One of the more disturbing hair trends of the past decade is on its way out, at least judging by the latest looks on the runway. What am I talking about? I’m talking about straight, flat hair achieved via daily use of a heating Iron and product. This look was and remains popular, particularly amongst Jewish women who seek to control their unruly Semitic hair. But what is considered unruly by some is considered hot by others, and now, it’s not just hot, it’s fashionable! Female Jewish fashionistas can put away the horrible Iron and laugh at their naturally flaxen haired counterparts as they buy expensive product and waste countless hours every month in order to look more Semitic.
I’m not kidding. Check out the suggested regime and product required:
1. Braid your hair in tiny braids (the thicker the braid, the less textured your hair will be).
2. Using hairspray (we like Bumble and Bumble Spray de Mode – $25), spray all over, then flat iron each braid to set the crimp. I also like using a product called Bumble and Bumble Surf Spray. Just spray it on before or during ironing.
3. After the hair is set, take the braids out and use your fingers to separate.
4. Spray the ends of your hair with hair powder (Bumble and Bumble Dry Hair Powder – $35), it’s the absolute secret weapon for giving your hair a frizzy, full finish.
Thank goodness for the inevitable end of that straight hair trend. It was just plain stupid. And this isn’t some cool Jew nonsense – we’re not talking about the ironic sporting of Jewfros as a statement of pride for one’s heritage. This is a legitimate fashion trend and applies to all, Jews and non-Jews. Sort of like circumcision! OK, maybe I added that last line in just to piss David Kelsey off. Sue me. I mean he’ss all flipped out about deceased 93 year old women with 2000 descendants, and I’m expressing concern for my sisters! But yes, frizzy/curly hair is back. Yay!