The Holocaust Never Actually Happened. Thank God!

Oh what a relief! I mean 6-million dead Jews, it’s too much, too heartbreaking to contemplate! But today, amid the anti-government rioting, there’s good news out of Egypt. Those 6-million dead Jews? They never died! This according to Fathi Shihab-Eddim, described as a key figure in Egyptian President Mohammed Morsi’s government, responsible for appointing the editors of all state-run Egyptian newspapers. Fathi stated:

US intelligence agencies in cooperation with their counterparts in allied nations during World War II created it (the Holocaust) to destroy the image of their opponents in Germany, and to justify war and massive destruction against military and civilian facilities of the Axis powers, and especially to hit Hiroshima and Nagasaki with the atomic bomb.

Apparently, the missing 6-million Jews simply moved to the United States and are presumably hiding according to Shihab-Eddim. This is SUCH good news! What a thrill it is to know that these Jews and their descendants no longer have to hide now that thanks to Shihab-Eddim, the proverbial cat is out of the bag. Imagine how great it’s going to be! 6-million Jews and their descendants can now be counted as part of the community! Birthright Israel is going to have to ramp up available trips! Synagogues and day schools can be full again! We’ll be able to mothball all those silly Holocaust Museums and spend our communal funds on integrating our long lost Jews! The possibilities are mind boggling!

I for one can’t wait to meet Anne Frank’s grandchildren. Call me!