What I like about Jew? They hold me tight…they keep on whispering in my ear…they tell me all the things that I want to hear……especially at tonight’s concert at the Canal Room…like:
…the truth about JDate (everyone lies and is smart and funny)…Rob “the short one” being taller than I am, and learning that we are actually both “Taller than Jesus”…that while the Village Voice called Sean “absurdly talented,” Rob was deemed an adverb-unworthy “snarky”…that they’re going on tour on the West Coast next week in cities like San Francisco, Los Angeles, Petaluma, Seattle and Portland (check their website for show dates, times and tickets)…that there’s a reason why Rosie O’Donnell is married and Rob isn’t… plus my personal revelation that, for men, nearly every performance related activity–from academic and professional achievement to learning the guitar or doing standup–is an acceptable modality of talking about their appendages.
There’s more, of course. I could go through the set list, or an analysis song-by-song. But I’ve already done that with my previous post about this absurdly talented snarky duo (whose witty stage repartee I could try to recreate here, but to the detriment of all you readers who are going to run out and get tickets to their shows on the West Coast). I could tell you that there somehow seemed to be more non-Jews in the audience than Jews. I could tell you that Tammy Faye Starlite was the guest star at the show, and that Jesus was there. I could tell you about all the awesome pictures I got that I hope to upload once I stop having computer problems.
I could tell you that I told Sean that I knew his non-existent sister and now he thinks I’m a fool, but I don’t care since he’s married and therefore of no use to me, and as long as Rob doesn’t think I’m a fool, I’m okay. I could tell you that Rob is in fact, better-looking than the [non-existent] guy I’m going out with. I could tell you that if our contest winner was there tonight, I didn’t see her. I could tell you that apart from the BloggerofZion I brought with me, I knew NO ONE ELSE THERE (a Jew event first for me).
Feh, you people. I could tell you. But see it for yourself–then you can tell me.Â
(Pictures to come, hopefully on the morrow, Good Readers.)
(wow that was bad grammar. I meant “”it was the first show I’ve seen harmonized between….” Sorry.)
Don’t forget the Holocaust. They talked about the Holocaust. I think it was the first show I’ve seen harmony between Holocaust black humor and penis jokes.
And oh, how many penis jokes! I felt young again.
It is true, married men are useless.